About Me
- Superstar
- I'm not really a superstar, except maybe to my husband, who I happen to be deeply in love with. My life: following Jesus, learning to live and love like Him. He is in the driver's seat, and I am on an adventure.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Goodbye 2009
We are enjoying a wonderful visit to Michigan to celebrate Christmas and to do some visiting. I don't think I can really express how awesome it is to be visiting everyone. A whole new appreciation for every encounter. The girls are on their third consecutive sleepover. Lots of fun. But, I'll be honest. The goodbyes suck. I knew they would. I hate goodbyes.
Deep down at the core of my personality is a strong desire to avoid any kind of hurt or disappointment associated with relationships with others. I guess we all have that to some extent. But, for some reason mine is strong. So strong that I tried to break up with Timm when we started dating because I didn't want to risk getting too close and then having the fear of losing him some day. So, when I have to say goodbye to people who I love with every fiber of my being, it is hard.
Well, anyways, I have learned to embrace the truth that is is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And, instead of dreading goodbyes and focusing on the distance between me and loved ones, I have learned to truly appreciate time that I DO have with them. Geez, that's pretty brilliant, aye?
So, I'm not normally one for new year's resolutions, but for 2010, perhaps I have a resolution to pursue. To love without reservation. To embrace the present and to love others deeply, regardless of the potential pain it could cause me. I admire people who are so good at this.
If I seem a little melancholy, it might have something to do with some news about some friends back here in MI. Cancer. Husband, father of 3, 39 years old. Not a good prognosis. As I lift them up in prayer, my heart breaks for them. A breaking heart hurts. I don't like it. And, I think that God has been softening my heart lately, and it hurts. A hard heart it much less likely to hurt.....but it is also much less likely to love and have the peace and joy that surpasses understanding.
On a lighter note, let me just do a QUICK update. Wonderful week. Celebrated Christmas with all sides of the family, spoiled with tons of gifts for us and the girls, santa brought a keyboard for the girls, which was a fun surprise. It was great to share with my sister and her family how we chose to spend the money we used to spend on gifts to bless others who are less fortunate. That's been an awesome new tradition. Did some shopping, arranged three consecutive sleepovers for the girls to enjoy with friends, had a couple of dates set up with my closest friends (one was a 3 hour gabfest over coffee, another was a 4 hour gabfest over beer and dinner...ahhhh...I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND I MISS THEM). Took the kids to pine knob for their first time skiing! Very cool.
OK, life is good. 2009 has been a ridiculous avalanche of blessings for me. Jesus is in the driver's seat of this ride I'm on, and it is crazy being a passenger. Much more exciting, but unnerving to not be the one in control. If I were driving, I might have a tendency to speed, but I would have everything mapped out, no unexpected twists in the road, and a clear destination and timeline in front of me. With Jesus driving, He just looks over at me and smiles as I have the map out on my lap, fretting over which turn will be taken next, how we will make it, if we have enough gas, where exactly we will stop next, etc. But, the peace is indescribable. I am not the one in control. So, when people ask me things that are projections into the future "what are you doing this summer?" "How long will you live in New york?" "Are you going to be able to come back to Michigan next year for Thanksgiving and Christmas again?" I just smile and say "I'm really not sure". Because, not long ago, I thought I could figure all things out ahead of time. Jesus has shown me that I need to be able to take things as they come.
I'm ready for 2010.
Monday, December 21, 2009
My girl's club
job update
We did decide that it appears to be an opportunity worth pursuing. So, I contacted the principal and she asked if we could meet, along with some PTA members, the first week back to school.
So, I have not officially been offered the job, nor officially given a start date.....but......it looks very probable that I will be a full time working mom in the near future!
Thanks for prayers. Will be sure to keep you posted as things unfold.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Not very deep
Winter Fun
If I can figure out how to post a video, I will too. LOTS of fun winter activities this week.
Thursday night Liv and her class sang at the school holiday celebration. It was SO CUTE to see her proudly belting out those songs on stage! As a mom, I live for that stuff!
Friday night we may have started a new Christmas tradition. We baked Christmas cookies. Sugar cookies with icing. It was SO fun. What a mess! We didn't have cookie cutters, but had lots of creative designs and lots of colorful icing.
Then, we got cozy and watched "The Nativity" movie. Very nice.
Saturday we went ice skating. We went to Prospect park, which is very close to our place. But, man does that hurt your feet. So, after about an hour, we were done. The girls really enjoyed it.
Saturday night, our friend came over to babysit. She hung out with the girls for junk food and movie night, while TImm and I headed out to celebrate the Christmas season with a few people from church. We met at a very cute restaurant in Manhattan. Enjoyed candlelight, wine, food, and lots of laughter and sharing. Such a nice evening. By the time we left, the BLIZZARD was in FULL FORCE!
We were schlepping through a foot of snow, while it was still coming down strong and blowing in our faces. But, it was SO BEAUTIFUL! Nothing like seeing the city all lit up, and covered in white!
Our friend spent the night, and we planned to drive to church, and pick up some friends on the way. Well, that didn't work out. The van was very much SNOWED IN. No way we were going anywhere in the van. So, on to the train we went.
After a very sweet Christmas celebration together at church where we honored the celebration of advent, shared communion, sang by candlelight, and listened to the girls lead us in a song, we hung out for a snowball fight outside and watched a jeep get un-buried from the snow.
Then, as soon as we got home, we changed into snow clothes and headed to the park with the neighbors to do some SLEDDING!
Cookie baking, Nativity movie, ice skating, junk food and movie night, dinner out with Timm and friends, singing by candlelight, and sledding. Sounds like the Holiday season is here!
What a GREAT weekend!
Now we get ready to watch the season premiere of Survivor. Wish it didn't go so late. I don't think any of us will make it through the whole thing. But, in case I haven't GUSHED about it lately, we have DVR now....so...WHO CARES? We can watch it whenever we want.
More fun to some this week, 3 more days of school, then off to Michigan we go for a week of visiting! YAY!!!! The girls have a countdown chart on their bedroom wall.
Dang, I can't seem to do the video clip thing. Maybe some day.
Picture it all in your mind.
And, Michigan peeps, SEE YOU THIS WEEK. YAAAHOOOO.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I think the ball is in my court
Do I want to accept a job?
Doing lots of praying. Feel free to join me :) I'd love prayer support.
When you don't believe in "coincendence" it really makes you think about things that come your way, ya know?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
It's Christmas time...in the city
Been busy.
So, just to elaborate, most of you know that I am considering a job. WHAT? I know, how strange. It is a parent coordinator position at a middle school. Without rambling for 10 hours, I will just say that after fasting and praying, we feel much peace that I should take the next step towards pursuing the possibility. So, I meet with the principal tomorrow. I'll keep ya posted.
Finally, our night in the city. Here is a pic of the girls in front of the tree at Rockefeller center. After this, my camera batteries died. So, I can stop posting now :)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
four words
sixty three and sunny
Hooooooyahhhhhhhhhhhh! (that doesn't count as a word)
Deck the halls
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
How can I summarize???
As I suspected, this holiday gathering had a whole different feel. I appreciated each moment more, every interaction I enjoyed more. Bottom line, I missed my family and friends, and it was GREAT to see everyone. EVERYONE.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A good "weep", a broken heart
I tend to be more of a "thinker" than a "feeler". So, I can often go stretches without being overly emotional.
That includes my spiritual life. I tend to intellectualize my faith most of the time. I have to stretch myself to really connect at a spiritual level with Jesus. Even when I am in a really good place with Jesus, I don't find it easy to connect with him beyond my rational, cognitive belief. So, once in a while, when He gets ahold of my heart like he did today, oh boy. It exhausts me.
Today we had an extended time of music and worship at our church gathering. So, I chose to keep the kids in the gathering, rather than take them out like I usually do. DC visited and shared his incredible gift of music with us. Some others took the time to put together some amazing visuals to accompany the music. And I thank them. It really penetrated my soul and I was OVERWHELMED by the power and love of God.
It's difficult to pinpoint the cause of the weeping. I think I was just so overcome with JOY. And, then I was overcome with grief. I have never in my life felt such a broken heart for people who DON'T KNOW THE JOY of God.
That's the bottom line. My heart is broken. To think about going through life without the HOPE and JOY of faith in a God who is so trustworthy and powerful. I just wish everyone could find that kind of hope.
And yet, it's so hard....to talk about those deep issues like faith. Right? I feel like I am intruding or being pushy or crazy if I really express how much I care about someone at a SOUL level.
If you haven't immersed yourself in a worship environment lately that inspires you, perhaps you should. Have yourself a good weep, have your heart break, but be filled with hope beyond measure.
Thankful
Each night when I tuck the girls into bed, I try to have them thank God for at least three specific things. It is a great habit to get into, reflecting on blessings. I truly feel that having a thankful heart can change our perspective on life.
So, thanksgiving is coming up this week. Another great reminder to reflect on blessings with gratitude.
My heart overflows with gratitude. Just this weekend, on Friday night we were able to have some friends over for dinner. Had a great time just visiting and eating and drinking. Have had the blessing of getting to know our next door neighbors better. My sweet neighbor was able to come over, along with her sister who is visiting from out of town. It was lots of fun.
Saturday morning, we dropped our girls off at our other sweet neighbor's house to play so that Timm and I could go into Manhattan and join Communitas at NYC rescue mission. No kids allowed there. So, we were very happy to have our neighbors offer to let the girls hang out so that Timm and I could enjoy the serving time together. ANyways, we spent a few hours filling lots and lots of gift bags/boxes for people in need. A little bummed to come out and discover a parking ticket on the van!!! Crap. It's an expensive learning curve trying to figure out parking in the city. $115 fine!
Saturday evening we went to the school where we gather for Sunday mornings, and we helped set up the band and sound equipment. The school let us in the night before so that we could have more time Sunday morning for the band to rehearse. We have the blessing of our music director from Kensington church here this weekend. He and our band are going to lead us in an extended time of praise and worship today. YAY!
After that, we enjoyed an amazing time together at our friend's place on the upper west side. Once i get over the blatant coveting of their great apartment, I can always enjoy myself there! We had pizza and dessert and a time of sharing and prayer and then some music and singing with D.C. playing guitar. Seriously, couldn't have imagined a more enjoyable evening.
So, Timm had to go in very early to church this morning. I decided to let the girls sleep in. We'll be taking the train in very soon. So, gotta go.
Three days....and we will be travelling to MI to see family...YAY! More to be thankful for!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
filthy mouth!
OK, minus the photos, I'd like to say, I just had a fabulous birthday. I was reflecting yesterday...why do we celebrate birthdays? I mean, the person was simply "born". They didn't accomplish anything special. Shouldn't we, as a culture that celebrates accomplishments, effort and hard work, honor the MOM every time there is a birthday. She's the one who did the work!
However, it makes perfect sense. I am reading another book by Donald Miller. Love this guy. It's called "Searching for God knows what." He articulates perfectly something that I already "know" but need to be reminded of. He explains an Epiphany where he realizes that he feels something missing in himself. He craves some bit of something to make him feel special or important or valued. So, he tried to attach himself to a certain identity because it made him feel smart (or more honestly, it made other people tell him he was smart). So, he starts to realize that he is wired in a way that other people told him who he was. Like, he needed something outside of himself to tell him who he was. Well, we all crave that! And, the truth is, God is offering to do just that! He is waiting for a relationship with us where HE can fill us up and give us our true identity. But, if we neglect to be filled with HIM telling us who we are, we will turn elsewhere to seek it. We not only crave it, we need it. We will ascribe ourselves value based on SOMETHING. Why not let it be the value God created us with!!!????
So, maybe that is a tangent you don't find so intriguing. That's fine. I'm sure it is more relevant within the rest of the text I'm reading. However, it made me realize that, as much as I HATE to admit it.....I do this. Here it was my birthday, and of course it was great to be acknowledged by so many! I felt valued, important, loved. That's how God will make us feel all the time, if we just turn to him instead of the world. And, because every single one of us has this deep need to feel loved and valued and affirmed, we created a way to assure that at least one day a year, you have the opportunity to experience that feeling of being special. Right? Interesting. And, it's great. I just wish we could realize that God is there every single moment to fill that deep need with more love and affirmation than we will EVER get from the world. He created us and loves us unconditionally!
OK, so, my birthday :) I received a ton of happy wishes on facebook, email and texts. Thanks to all. I was honored by my sister in her blog. I treated myself to "eyebrow five dollah" and had my eyebrows waxed. Went out for a run, and it was the first time I have done that in a week because I needed to rest after feeling sick. I got a nice picture from Liv and beautiful flowers from Timm. I got some cards in the mail, and a few phone calls that meant a lot! Thank you to everyone who made me feel special! Then, I went out to dinner with my family to an EXCELLENT restaurant and I overate quite a bit. But it was so good and I justified every bite beyond full by saying "It's my birthday".
Birthdays are a great time to be reminded of how much you are loved by others! But, I hope I can remember that as special as I felt yesterday, God feels that way about me every second of my life. More than I can even grasp! That deep need I have to feel special, important, valued and worthwhile....I want HIM to affirm that. And, I hope you can find that affirmation in HIM too. Quit looking for other things to give you that and to fill you up, like what others' think, or your accomplishments or your talents and abilities, or your looks or your possessions, or whatever it is that makes you feel special. You already are special...just because you are you!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Time to slow down
I was so pumped up on Sunday after running like a wild woman in the 5K, then going strong all day.
But, on Monday I felt very very tired. I volunteered at the book fair at school all day, and I was dragging so bad! So, I thought maybe I had over exerted myself on Sunday.
By last night (Tues) I conceded that it is more than being tired. During the day, I was having trouble making it up and down the stairs to do the laundry. My friend came over to do our book study, and she had to do some filming for church (she is doing "the real housewives of Communitas"!) and I was not my chipper self. And when it was time to walk Liv to dance and back, I didn't know if I could do it. I'm not well. Low grade fever and achy body and cough. Dang it.
I was in bed at 8:30 last night. The girls have today off for Veteran's day and we were planning to go to see the USS New York (A Navy ship made of materials salvaged from the wreckage of the world trade center) which is docked in NY until tomorrow. But...I need rest. We won't be able to go. I'm not very good at resting.......
Times like this I just thank God that I can rest. I don't have to use up sick days to take it easy. What a blessing.
Monday, November 9, 2009
water, water everywhere....but
That's how I feel right this moment about technology. But, it just doesn't have the same ring to it, so I doubt it will ever become a cliche. "Technology, technology, everywhere, but not a byte to eat." The amount of technology available at this very moment, is literally staggering to my mind. And, I am doing fairly well with my laptop, dvr and high def tv, digital camera, ipod, and my phone that seems to do just about everything from storing all of my contacts, email, navigation, picture taking, texting, and.....oh yah....making phone calls.
But, I sat down here to do something fairly simple. To blog about my weekend, and download a few pictures. And, I can NOT get the pictures from my phone to the computer. It is so frustrating! So, here I sit, with my digital camera, it's memory card, my phone, it's memory card and the memory card it plugs into, my handy dandy card reader/writer, my laptop....and yet....I cannot do this simple task. WHATEVER! The problem is, I don't know how to problem solve when something doesn't work. Ugh.
ANYWAYS.....I will proceed with my update with minimal pictures, only the one from my actual camera :)
Let me just say....AWESOME weekend.
Friday night we had a great time for our small group. Guitar hero, pizza, baking a pumpkin pie (you go Val!), sharing and praying and studying some of God's words.
Saturday I went to women's prayer breakfast and was reminded of how God loves me and was challenged to REALLY believe it. Ahhh, refreshing!
Then we went to a birthday party for a friend of Olivia's. As I sat there with my girls, visiting with new acquaintances, I was acutely aware of how different this experience was from anything I would have normally found myself in back in MI. Nothing huge, just that I am in such a different environment here. As I sat there eating Tai food and Sushi (at an 8 year old b-day party) while the conversations around me were about current biographies someone was reading, particular art techniques and artists, architects and design styles of people like Frank Loyd Wright (who I didn't even know).....it was just interesting to me to listen and realize the diversity of trades and interests and lifestyles that tend to migrate to an urban environment. Very fun.
Anyways, the BEST day of the week was SUNDAY It was decided that we would forgo our traditional Sunday morning worship time and instead celebrate the sabbath together in the evening. We call it "second sunday" and it is a time to come together for FUN and an opportunity to invite people in our lives who we would love to introduce to our "church friends". So, since we didn't have church on Sunday morning, I thought I'd look and see if there were any 5K races going on that TImm and I could do. Sure enough, right in our neighborhood, there was the "Fuggitaboutit 5K" It was an absolutely GORGEOUS morning. Craig joined Timm and I for the 5K, Neal, our iron man, signed up for the duathalon (5K run, 14 mile bike, 5K run) and sweet Val stayed with the girls.
Not only was it a gorgeous fall morning, running in the most beautiful park, through the leaves and grassy hills....but we cleaned house! We each got a medal (fuggitabout the fact that it was a leftover medal from the mother's day 2009 triathalon), I won first place overall for the women with a time of 20:40 , and I got a really cheesy trophy. We all placed in our age divisions and walked away with a really nice pedometer. And, they fed us some really yummy bagels. You all know how much I love free food. Was it a great morning or what? Fuggitaboutit.
OK, my computer is freaking out. Gonna have to wrap this up. All I will say is that the rest of Sunday was equally as glorious. Took the train to the city, neighbor boys came along, went to an open art show of some friends of Timm's from WAY back when, then went bowling. Several of our neighbors ended up joining us, as well as the family who had the b-day party Sat. We all had a BLAST bowling and visiting. GREAT SUNDAY.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
One up, the other one down!
Ha! Do you know who this is?