About Me

I'm not really a superstar, except maybe to my husband, who I happen to be deeply in love with. My life: following Jesus, learning to live and love like Him. He is in the driver's seat, and I am on an adventure.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A good "weep", a broken heart

Aaahhhh. Had myself a good old weep today. I would call it a cry, but when it just keeps flowing out like that, it must be referred to as a weep. It kinda exhausted me.
I tend to be more of a "thinker" than a "feeler". So, I can often go stretches without being overly emotional.
That includes my spiritual life. I tend to intellectualize my faith most of the time. I have to stretch myself to really connect at a spiritual level with Jesus. Even when I am in a really good place with Jesus, I don't find it easy to connect with him beyond my rational, cognitive belief. So, once in a while, when He gets ahold of my heart like he did today, oh boy. It exhausts me.
Today we had an extended time of music and worship at our church gathering. So, I chose to keep the kids in the gathering, rather than take them out like I usually do. DC visited and shared his incredible gift of music with us. Some others took the time to put together some amazing visuals to accompany the music. And I thank them. It really penetrated my soul and I was OVERWHELMED by the power and love of God.
It's difficult to pinpoint the cause of the weeping. I think I was just so overcome with JOY. And, then I was overcome with grief. I have never in my life felt such a broken heart for people who DON'T KNOW THE JOY of God.
That's the bottom line. My heart is broken. To think about going through life without the HOPE and JOY of faith in a God who is so trustworthy and powerful. I just wish everyone could find that kind of hope.
And yet, it's so hard....to talk about those deep issues like faith. Right? I feel like I am intruding or being pushy or crazy if I really express how much I care about someone at a SOUL level.
If you haven't immersed yourself in a worship environment lately that inspires you, perhaps you should. Have yourself a good weep, have your heart break, but be filled with hope beyond measure.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Weeping can be like a washing of the soul and mind. It can set a memorial stone up for us to remember that day. Glad you have had an exhausting experience with the Lover of your soul.
I could use a really great worship session. tmp