gushy

Gushy warning.

Just feeling so blessed to have my husband. I am amazed and baffled as I ponder the fact that God chose to bless me with Timm.

I wasn't one of those little girls who sat and dreamt about marriage, babies, etc. I don't really recall thinking a whole lot about it. I do remember in high school telling my mom that I didn't think I'd get married because I simply didn't think I could be around anyone that much, or expect someone else to be around me that much. It seemed far fetched.

But, God had a different plan for me.

Now, here I am, almost 40, and a homemaker! That's my job. I care for my (little) home and my family. Yes, that leaves me time to pursue other volunteer opportunities and relationships, but for the main thrust, it is my family that receives my daily attention.

Every single day, I spend time thanking God for Timm. Every single day I spend time praying for him in specific ways. And, every single day I am blown away by how lucky I am. He is so patient. He is hard working. He is tons of fun. He enjoys life. He does not stress about stupid sh*&. He appreciates me and shows me his appreciation. He's confident, yet has learned to be humble in the sight of God. He strives to humble himself daily to God's will and to serve others before himself. He is honest about his shortcomings, and if I bring up something I observe, he is receptive and admits his fault instead of being defensive and ugly.

Yah, I don't know how God figured I deserved this marriage. But, I thank him for it daily. And, I just try to focus on ways to use our home, family, and relationship to spread God's good news to others by being an example of the covenant of love that we committed to.

Feeling pretty warm and fuzzy this Christmas season. Truly enjoying each moment, as I have been learning to appreciate the present as much as possible. Tonight we hop in the van and head to Buffalo for the night. Tomorrow some swimming in the pool and enjoying KKFT, then we are off to Michigan to celebrate Christmas with all of the family.

Ahhhhh, thank you God for this season. And for my husband. And my kids. And the countless blessings......

growin' up is hard to do

Back in the late 80's, early 90's, I used to do this ridiculous Richard Simmons workout tape (yes tape)....sweatin' to the oldies. One of the songs forever seared in my memory is "Breakin up is hard to do-ooo". So, when I wrote the title to this blog post, I sorta sang it to that tune.

Interesting how the brain works. Fascinating really. That song is hard wired into my brain from sheer repetition. I went on a field trip with Alli last week to the "Brainology" exhibit at the museum of Natural History. IT WAS AWESOME. I can never get too much information about the incredible human computer lodged into our craniums!

ANYWAYS.

My human computer OFTEN gets way too many electrical impulses firing in way too many directions.

What's on my mind? I guess it's Alli. She's eleven. She's in 6th grade. In so many ways, she is a clone of me. Freaky. However, she is a MUCH better model, and she has many attributes that I admire and envy.

As her Mom, I consider it my #1 priority to instruct, nurture, care for and train her. I love that job. It's an honor. But it's hard. It was hard when she was a newborn and I didn't know what she wanted when she cried. It was hard when she was 2, 3, and 4 because she has such a strong, independent personality and she pushed every limit to establish who was boss and where the boundaries were. And now it's hard because I feel like I understand why they label her a "tween" now. She really isn't a "little kid" anymore, and she isn't grown up either. So, half the time she wants to be silly and playful and childish and innocent. The other half, she feels pulled to grow up. That's fine. But, as we all know, with growing up comes responsibility. And, she seems to be struggling to get a handle on that.

Here's the thing. It is my opinion that kids grow up TOO FAST. Everything is TOO FAST. And, living in NYC has magnified and amplified that. I don't want to baby my kids and spoil them and all of that. I just want them to be able to be kids.

And, when they go to school all day long....Alli goes for 7 1/2 hours a day....and then they come home and immediately start doing homework and they seem to have very little free time, I feel bad for them. When I was eleven, I don't think I had homework. The way Alli has to balance her studying and assignments and expectations reminds me of the later part of my high school years. Actually, even then I don't remember much homework.

Let me back up just a wee bit. See, she wasn't bringing home a TON of homework, and I thought all was well. Then, she brought home a progress report that shocked us! She was not doing so well. So, I had to commit to sitting down with her every night and working with her to increase the quality of her work. Increasing the quality is taking a lot of time and effort. It's not just her work, but the way she keeps her backpack (NASTY) and keeps track of her things (lots of lost stuff) and her room (YIKES). Like I said, she is my clone, so this is familiar territory. Just a pain.

I won't go on and on and on. I'll just say that it's hard.

I'm very much looking forward to the break. Even though they get homework over every break, which is stupid.

And, I will also say one more thing. I'm not ripping on alli. The things I honestly value most, she is demonstrating. Her conduct is excellent, she continues to make good choices, she is compassionate, generous, fun, and able to stand up for what she believes. THAT is what is most important to me.

She's my first born. I am learning as I go. We are officially in the next stage of parenting.

warm and cold

Ya know, the weather outside is frightful.....

Yep, it feels like Christmas time out there. Cold. And, that's OK. We didn't get the DUMP of snow like Michigan, but we did get to have a few flurries. And, in some strange way, those flurries warm the heart. Hearing Alli scream "LOOK! SNOW!!!!" is so awesome.

Yes, the cold outside seems to magnify the warmth of the season.

Seeing all of the Christmas lights on our street and throughout the neighborhood....sipping hot cocoa....seeing the glow of our Christmas tree in our apartment while smelling the pine scented candle.....baking cookies....hosting parties.....going to parties......celebrating with Olivia's school and the community at a Bazaar.....singing on Sunday mornings by candlelight with our church community.....decorating a gingerbread house....getting warm jammies on at 5pm and having a relaxing evening wrapping presents, listening to "A Christmas Carol" on radio theater, and just being thankful for the warmth, health, and comfort we are blessed with. Ahhhh. Thank you God for this season.

Of course, I have to post some pictures. Still not very good at doing that on this blog. You would think I would be fairly proficient after all these years!?!?!

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Happy Hanukkah. Happy New Year. Season's Greetings. Happy Festivus.

temple

Don't always find it easy to go deep on this blog. I'm more likely to do that in my daily journal that stays between me and God. But, occasionally I feel like sharing my thoughts.

Today, my devotional was about my body being a temple of the holy spirit. It says that I must exhibit in my own body the life of the Lord Jesus, not mysteriously or secretly, but openly and boldly.

1 Corinthians 9:27 "I discipline my body and bring it into subjection..." Devotional says "Most of us are much more severe in our judgement of others than we are in judging ourselves. We make excuses for things in ourselves, while we condemn things in the lives of others simply because we are not naturally inclined to do them!"

AHA! I AGREE! And I think this helps explain so much. We find it so easy to persecute people who struggle with things that we do NOT struggle with. Example: Is homosexual sex a sin? Yes, according to the bible, you are not treating your body as the temple of the holy spirit if you are engaging in homosexual sex. However, the bible also clearly warns us against ANY sex outside of marriage. Also, against greed. Also against gluttony. As a matter of face, gluttony is mentioned MUCH more frequently in the bible than homosexual acts. But, last time I checked, I have not noticed any "churches" showing hatred for and openly persecuting FAT people! Can you imagine? "We are the church of Jesus Christ. But, if you struggle with gluttony, you are not welcome to worship here. We will not accept you." Or how about greed? Haven't noticed any churches that "ban greedy people" or make them feel unwelcome or unworthy to join their church community and learn about Jesus' grace and mercy and power.

I have friends who hate that I think homosexual sex is a sin. I get that. Because, to them, that means I am sitting up on my high and mighty throne casting MY judgment on others. That's not my intention at all. It really isn't. But, I get it. That's what the "Christian Church" is doing. So, I get lumped in with that institution.

So, Why do certain sinful behaviors seem so easy to be judgemental of? Because, it's a sin we are not personally inclined to be tempted by! So, it's an easy target. It's easy for me to roll my eyes and "tsk tsk" someone who is greedy, materialistic, or just prone to making unwise financial decisions. People who value name brands and status. But, shame on me! I'm no better. And, if I'm honest, I know my own struggle in this area. First of all, obviously, pride. But, secondly, my insatiable desire for free or cheap stuff. Then, having too much stuff and knowing that it is taking my time and energy to organize, sort, discard, or salvage each thing that comes into my possession. But, that's easy to hide from others. Therefore, I also get a lot of pride built up.

Or how about when my sister in law decided to have a baby, even though she wasn't married? Again, easy for me to judge. My thoughts?? "That is so blatantly outside of God's will for you life! You call yourself a follower of Jesus, yet you clearly step outside of His design and will for your life because you want to?!" Well, guess what? I do that ALL THE TIME. Again, it may not be as obvious to others. But, every time I choose to serve myself and my own desires instead of others, I'm outside of His will. Every time I take my frustrations out on my kids and snap at them or belittle them because I am grumpy, I'm blatantly disregarding God's will and design. I do it all the time. But, God blessed me in way I can barely comprehend - with an amazing husband, two beautiful healthy children, incredible in-laws, etc, etc, etc. Who am I to say what I would do if I were in my 30's and those things hadn't happened for me yet? I will never know what that feels like, so why am I judging? Why? Because, I will never find myself in that situation, so it's easy to judge.

Wow. I could go ON and ON! It really is easy to judge. But, I need to be only judging MYSELF. Not others. God has given me the responsibility to rule over ALL "the temple of the holy spirit" including my thoughts and desires. It is my responsibility to accept the grace of God and the power of the holy spirit, and present myself as a "living sacrifice". Dead to my selfishness, alive to what God wants me to be.

So, let's challenge each other.....quit judging others. But, feel free to judge yourself.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

We decorated our tree last night and hung our stockings with care. Now Liv wants to bake sugar cookies. That was a new tradition we started last year.

We caught a little Christmas fever when we were in MI for Thanksgiving. We celebrated Christmas and exchanged gifts with the Kelly family. Then we joined the Carlson's for an awesome day of feasting, thanking God for blessings, and just hanging out.

It really was a fantastic weekend. I went shopping, Timm went to high school football playoffs (go dragons) with the guys, euchre party at the panks, and even managed to squeeze in some playtime with the Prouty girls.

I won't mention that we ended up with a flat tire on the way home. OK, since I mentioned it....flat tires really aren't that catastrophic. And, we did end up having tons to be thankful for in the end. However, how frustrating to find a place to pull over and change a tire, pull all the junk out of the back of the van, pull the jack out of it's holding place, realizing it's never been used and still has the plastic wrap on it from 2001....then... For the next 60 minutes, the realization occurs to us that the spare tire has never been accessed, and therefore is immovably rusted to the frame of the van. Nice. Timm was so determined to get that stinkin thing off! To no avail. What to be thankful for? We found a mechanic right there who was open on Sunday evening. They weren't able to get the spare tire off, but they were kind enough to take the flat off, determine it to be irrepairable, and sell us a new one for just $145. With the amount of money we have invested in owning that automobile this year.....we should be being chauferred around in a personal limousine with a full time driver.

Anywho....the Christmas season IS HERE. NYC is such a cool place for the holidays. Tomorrow the girls and I go to the nutcracker ballet. The really neat part is that Liv's friend from school has a part in the ballet!!! Last night we watched a TLC special about extreme Christmas lights. One of the neighborhoods highlighted was Dyker Heights, right here in Brooklyn! So, we are going to make sure we add that to our "must do" list this season. But, each daily square on our calendar seems to be getting more and more packed with activities, events, parties, etc. So, today we decided to clear our schedule and do NOTHING. We are taking the day as it comes and relaxing. We needed it. Maybe we will go out later for a walk down 5th ave and a peek at the Rockefeller center tree? Maybe not. For now, we are still in our jammies at 11am.

Was reminded of something today in my quiet time. There are always forces working against my health. My physical, mental and spiritual health. And I need to WORK in all of those areas to maintain a healthy balance. It takes effort to combat the forces that push against me. It's not something that is achieved PASSIVELY. That's why it is true to say that if I am not actively growing closer towards God, I'm not remaining stagnant, I'm growing further away from him.

The holiday season is a perfect time for distraction. If I am distracted by all of the great things to DO to celebrate our savior's birth, yet I do not take time to worship Him, meditate on His truth, listen to His voice, then the forces that are pulling me away from God are having their way. I must be active in my pursuit of growing closer to my God. And, sometimes that means saying NO to some things that appear good and fun and right so that I can be sure I am working on my relationship with my creator.

That is my constant challenge!

It's Christmas time......in the city.......silver bells.......silver bells.....

Give Thanks

I really do love Thanksgiving. I try to always keep a spirit of gratitude in my heart. Every night when I tuck the girls in, we reflect on what we are thankful for. No matter how crappy the day may seem, we can always come up with a list of things to praise God for.

Although I am so looking forward to some family time in MI for Thanksgiving, it is a little bit stressful because the weekend doesn't allow much time between driving. And, I am sorry to be missing some opportunities to serve in this city for THanksgiving. If we were here, we'd be joining our church family to serve at the rescue mission.

But, since we cannot do it that day, we went down there this past Saturday and helped package up some gifts that will be given out Thanksgiving weekend. It was a lot of fun. Especially because my girls had three friends sleep over the night before, and they all got up pretty early in the morning and headed out to the city to roll up their sleeves and help out. And, they had so much fun. The joy on their faces as they served just warms my heart. Their friends asked if we could do it again some time? SURE!

I hope I can always remember to GIVE thanks....and to just GIVE.......

Life is so much better when I take the focus OFF of myself and instead focus on others.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Oktoberfest or Novemberfest?

Char and Victoria toasting to Vic's first drink in about 3 years! Cheers.
Neal and Megan
Val and Kim

Amy and Nathan (and Alli)

Timm presenting to Harry, Kristy, Maria and Maggie

So, we had our beer tasting party last night. Timm and I can't agree on whether it was an Oktoberfest party that was postponed, or a Novemberfest party. I know, such deep rooted issues of contention we have with each other, right? I love that man. Not only did he clean up and rearrange the whole apartment yesterday in order to squeeze 25 people into our little living space, but today, while I sit here on my bed relaxing and playing on the computer, he is cleaning up and re-rearrangning all of our furniture for a new look. To top it off, he served beer to everyone all night, with nothing but questions and comments from me!

So, here are a few photos. Wish I was better at picture taking. Contrary to what it may appear, my friends are not all celestial beings. I just don't know how to use the flash correctly, so people often appear to be glowing.

Good beer.

Good friends.

Good times.

Fill er up

Last weekend we had a wonderful women's retreat in the rolling hills of up state New York. It was so AWESOME to get away.We achieved our goals of rest, relationship building, and revival!

We focused a lot on really digging deeply and honestly to reveal what we are filling up on. In other words, do I go to Jesus and say "fill er up" and trust that He WILL? Or do I turn to other things for fulfillment? We broke into groups of three to share, pray, and encourage each other.

When I returned home, the Halloween festivities were in full swing. Three of

us arrived to my front stoop to find our three husbands handing out candy and acting ridiculous with the girls and the neighborhood kids. I must say,

Timm did a great job curling the girls' hair, applying their make-up, and even fastening on Liv's false eyelashes!! Yay Timm! And although he didn't feel compelled to dress up himself, Craig and Neal made up for it. At one point, Alice Cooper (Craig) was tossing knives with my neighbor, the ninja.

Oh, can't forget to attach a photo of the girls as they headed to school the Friday before Halloween

. Liv's school does "character day" and she is dressed as "Matilda" from one of her favorite books. Alli is dressed for Halloween. Can you guess who she is dressed up as?

Somehow, a whole week, and another weekend slipped by already. Life moves so fast. God keeps reminding me to SLOW DOWN and to fill up on Him. I am trying.

This past weekend was pretty sweet. On Sunday, Timm played a song on his guitar at church. I SO enjoyed worshiping while he strummed the chords....very special for me. Then, I was able to meet up with my great friend to cheer her on in the the marathon. What a sight to see! MILLIONS of people. Huge event in NYC. And, I even got to run with her for a while. That was neat. Now everyone keeps asking me when I am running one....I don't think so. But, I have decided I'll do a half marathon. I feel that's a good goal for me before I turn 40.

Words at a funeral

I was so honored to be able to share a few words at Sharon's funeral. I had written it down because I knew if I didn't, I'd risk talking all day long! One day, while I was sitting in Sharon's room, knowing that our time together was coming to an end, I thought about what I might say if I was able to speak at her funeral. I prayed for God to inspire me. Here is what a was able to share:

A mother really has an incredible power to set the tone of the home. Somehow she is the heart and soul of a home, of a family. I feel so blessed to have seen and felt that power in this family. In this home. Sharon has been the very heart and soul. She has set the tone. A home full of grace. peace. acceptance. love. nurturing. honesty. joy. laughter. generosity. celebration.
She has always seemed to do it so effortlessly. I think it's because she was right in step with God's will for her life. She was living it out every day, in every little way, in every moment. She was modeling for others how to live as a servant. Here to serve, not to be served. And I just hope she knows the incredible legacy she's leaving.
For her kids, for their friends throughout the years, for the grand kids, for all of the nieces and nephews, for her daughter-in-laws, for her siblings, and truly, for an exponential number of people who will be better people for having known her, her family, and those she has touched with her servant's heart.
She lived out God's plan. He created us to honor and glorify him. And he wants us to do that by giving up our own selfish, sinful nature in order to serve others. Anyone who knew Sharon knows that is exactly how she lived. And she just did it with such grace. So effortlessly. She was being the hands and feet of Jesus to everyone, all the time.
Isn't it cool to reflect now and to picture her humble smile, knowing that was Jesus? Or reflecting on a time she gave up her time to serve you. Or gave you a gift. That was from Jesus. He loves us so much, and Sharon was able to show us some of His love by serving us.
What an inspiration Sharon has been to me. Some of the things I learned from her:
*how to laugh at myself
*how to be in the moment....and how to enjoy the moment
*how to be generous
*how to love....whether I think a person "deserves" it or not
*how to love my kids enough to give them WINGS and encourage them to fly, even if it means they might fly away from me
*not to worry about the little things
*and together, we learned, not to worry about BIG things.

A few days after I learned of her diagnosis, I found myself laying awake in my bed worrying. About the next day, the next week, month.....year. I was getting myself so worked up that my heart was racing and I had a pit in my stomach and I felt so out of control.
Then, God put a scripture in my mind. and, you can ask Timm, who was laying there beside me, I was instantly overcome with peace and relief.
It was Matthew 6:34 "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own."
I took a deep breath and remembered that God promises us strength and grace sufficient for today. He doesn't say "Oh, and when you start to worry about tomorrow, next week, net year, and every possible scenario that could unfold, I'll give you all the grace right now that you will need for that too." Nope, But, he does PROMISE enough strength for today.
I shared this with Sharon. And, a few morning later, she called and told me she "tried my technique" last night and it worked!!! She couldn't get to sleep, found herself fretting about the future, but then she remembered what that verse said and the next thing she knew, it was morning and she had slept soundly for hours.
I laughed and told her it wasn't MY technique, but truth from God, our creator and Father. And it works because His plans are always perfect.
So, together, I believe we learned to lean on that truth. If we have today, let's not worry about tomorrow just yet.
As I say by her bedside all last week, there was an awesome quote printed and propped up on the headboard. I'd like to share it with you.

Do not look forward in fear to the changed of life;
rather, look to them with full hope that as they arise, God whose very own
you are, will lead you safely through all things.
And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms.
Do not fear what will happen tomorrow,
the same everlasting Father who cares for you today
will care for you today and every day
He will either shield you from suffering or will give you
unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
St. Frances De Sales

Looking back, I knew I had an amazing mother-in-law from day one. I was always thankful and I told my friends that I was sorry that they had "mother in law stories" but I just could not relate. And then I had kids...COME ON! That's when I almost couldn't tell my stories anymore with my friends. It just felt like I was exaggerating or rubbing it in. Because I literally had the best mother in law in the world. My friends will tell you, I am not just saying that now because she is gone. I have said that for years.
I am a better person for having had Sharon in my life. Her legacy will live on through generations. Her gentle, loving, generous, gracious spirit lives on through all of us. Like I said, it is the very spirit of Jesus that she showed us and lived out.
She made the world a better place.

Olivia's poem

I wanted to share a few words form Olivia. When we were saying goodbye to Grandma, Olivia left the room and when she came back in, she had a pen and paper. She sat at the foot of Grandma's bed, and she wrote:

Grandparents love you

With 42 years of marriage
I'd like to see you in a carriage
riding down an isle of roses
making laughter and striking poses

You are the granparents I always wanted
sometimes we even flaunted
when we look at the sky, it is so bright
that's because it's heaven's lights!
that's where you'll be grandmother dear.
but do be aware, there is nothing to fear
You'll have Jesus Christ all day
just remember that it's OK
someday we will be up there
with the friends that you made
all the friends that greet you everyday
just remember that every granparent out there
love their grandchild in a different way
but I especially love the way you do it grandma.

the storm, the rock

I'm back in Michigan.
Craziest stretch of time. On Tuesday, the girls and I said goodbye to Grandma. We hugged her, kissed her, and told her we were done bugging her! We assured her that she didn't have to try to give us a hug with her arms, or a kiss with her lips. Because we know that we have an endless supply of her love for the rest of our lives here on earth.
Timm stayed in MI to be with her and to help his Dad care for her.
Tuesday night, we got home from the airport at about 8:30. Just enough time to try to get our stuff in the apartment and get the girls tucked into bed since they were anticipating going to school the next day. The only problem was that Olivia was complaining of a LOT of pain in her ear ever since we landed. Olivia is a tough cookie. If she says something hurts...it HURTS.
We didn't end up sleeping much. Between taking Olivia to the emergency room for her ear and getting a call that Grandma had passed away peacefully in the night, we gave up on the notion of sleeping. Instead, we unpacked, repacked, and drove all the way back to MI.
So, here we are.
Most of us have heard about the bible verse that talks about building your house on "the rock". There's a great little sunday school song about it.
But, reading those verses in Matthew today, I felt the meaning so powerfully.
Matthew 7:24-25
24Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock
25 and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.
I think a raging storm is a really good picture of what hit this family this week.....this year. And, it's truly amazing. I have had the privilege of sitting in the eye of the storm, and witnessing the peace that transcends all understanding. THe peace and comfort that comes from the rock on which THIS family was built.
When the winds shipped in, we gathered together. We literally sang praises to our creator. We laughed and cried and held hands and experienced joy and peace so deep, no force on this earth could penetrate it or SHAKE it!
THAT is the ROCK this scripture refers to. Jesus Christ.
For those who do not know that kind of peace, I pray. And I pray that this family not only rests in the absolute power of that rock solid faith, but that this family can shine light into darkness. That each person in this family can help someone else find that rock to build their life on.
I can't say enough about the love I have experienced this week. I have always experienced it in this family. And I am blessed to experience it in my family too. But there is something about a storm like this. When we all had to reach beyond our own ability to cope and lean on that great Comforter. And we will continue to lean on Him. It's humbling.
This experience has solidified my faith in ways so deep.
I'm not for one second minimizing the tragedy of Sharon's suffering or our loss.
It sucks so hard, it's like sucking on a straw after getting your wisdom teeth extracted, then getting a dry socket that gets infected and the pain of the infection is so intense, you'd prefer someone to chop your whole head off than to endure one more second. IT SUCKS.
But, I haven't even had to TRY to find God in this, or beauty in this.
God is so present, I"ve experienced Him with my senses. And the beauty is so complete, my words can't convey the image because it transcends my words. It's that real.
This is long, I know.
Someone could tell me about God all day long, I could read about him for years, but I can say, I have met God. I've hung out with him. I've experienced Him with all that I am.
THANK YOU SHARON for that gift to me and to so many others.
Dance, sing, celebrate for eternity. Enjoy your rewards in heaven. Can't wait to see you there.

I'm a KELLY

When I got married, 14 years ago, I gave up a maiden name that I had a lot of pride in. And I took my husband's name. Kelly. I was humbly honored to take that name. But, never before have I felt so proud to be a Kelly.
This week I am witnessing love.
We use that word so flippantly. I love ice cream. I love your hair. No....not that kind of love. But, LOVE.
I have a passion for the covenant of marriage. A burning desire for people to take their commitment seriously and to treat it as a covenant created by God to reflect the kind of love He is to the rest of the world.
Here I sit...4 days after getting the phone call that Timm's mom is at the end of her short battle with cancer. Hospice is stepping in to assist in the process of dying with dignity. By the time we were able to fly to Michigan and be at her bedside, we had just a little bit of time to get our selfish fill of love FROM her. In the form of eye contact and head nods and small smiles, we were fed one last dose of love from a woman who's every move modeled the act of giving love.
So, here I sit. Overwhelmed. But not only by grief. I'm overwhelmed by the love. Believe me, there is tons of love here! Family, friends, clergy, and God himself. It's radiating.
But, I am particularly overwhelmed by the love between Timm's mom and dad. I have never witnessed anything like it. And, I 'm so glad to be a part of it. And, for my kids to be a part of it too.
Here's Tim, 42 years after marrying Sharon. Sitting by her bedside 24 hours - only taking short breaks. He's rubbing her back, caressing her gently, telling her how much he loves her. Telling her it's OK to let go and be with Jesus. He's caring for her in ways that are so sweet. He knows which sheets she likes on the bed, which detergent she likes the smell of. When someone was going to use a wet wipe to help clean her, he said no and he prepared a warm bucket of water with the body wash "she likes". Everything. He knows all about her.
And it's because they stuck it out. They LOVED each other. Through the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the joys, the disappointments, the frustrations, all of it!
Now, he is whispering stories in her ear - remembering the birth of each child and telling her how strong she was. Remembering funny stories from their dating and telling her how lucky he is that she stuck with him. Remembering loved ones who have passed and telling her how they are waiting to greet her in heaven. Telling her how special she is to every person in her life...one by one...in detail. And then assuring her that it is OK to let go and that each person will be OK.
UGH! The power of THAT kind of LOVE! It's crazy.
To me, it is a perfect picture of God's intention for marriage. They didn't have an easy, perfect life. But they shared it all and stuck by their promises to LOVE no matter what.
And now, I see the legacy that it is leaving for their kids, their grandkids, their nieces and nephews, and everyone lucky enough to know them. They have modeled, and continue to model, loving and serving each other just like the Triune God. A circle of love so complete. They give others a glimpse of the kind of love God wants us to know and imitate.
So, here I sit, early in the morning. Quiet. Dark. Praying for God to release Sharon from this world. And thanking and praising him for the gift of marriage. And for this amazing family I am blessed to be a part of.
I understand that their example reaches far beyond those who are married. It is an example for everyone and how we should love. But, it is just such a clear reminder of why I am so passionate about the covenant of marriage. And it is why I choose to invest time, resources, prayers and whatever I can to help others catch a glimpse of this amazing plan God has for marriage.
I can't end this post without including my own parents' model of marriage. I'm simply overwhelmed with the gift God has given Timm and I to have been raised by two sets of parents who cherish this covenant.
Right now, my mom is well over 1000 miles away. That is not where she wants to be at this moment. She would like to be here, in MI, serving, loving and showing love to me and my family and the family she has grown to love, my in-laws. But, life happens. She is laid up with a back that won't move! She is dealing with her own frustrations. My Dad celebrated his 70th birthday a few days ago by taking his wife to the ER, hanging out with her during tests, bringing her back to their place, making sure she was comfortable, and treating himself to taco bell for dinner.
When I talked to my Dad, what was his response? "I just feel so lucky. So blessed. We're doing just fine". And he meant it. Even though they can't be here to give me a hug and share in this time, they know they truly are lucky.
So, there you have it. I had to give up my family name. Carlson. A name my Dad proudly carries. A name that has a legacy of it's own from my Grandpa, my Dad, and now my brother. And, now I am a Kelly. And, I know that my Dad is proud to see the legacy continue in all of his children.
We are blessed BEYOND any comprehension or reason.

Happy 11th Birthday Alli!

My baby turns 11 today!

I don't think I could find a way to be more proud of my sweet little girl. She has such character, courage, charisma, compassion (that was a fun run of "c" words). She stands up for her beliefs and what she thinks is right. She truly cares about others. She even recognizes her weaknesses and strives to make improvements. She is playful and loving and wise beyond her years. I thank God every day for the incredible gift He has given our family. We love our Alli.

In keeping with our seemingly new tradition, we have been celebrating her "birth week" rather than simply her "birth day".

Last Friday we celebrated with some of our small group. Then on Saturday night, Alli had about 10 friends over for a LOUD, WILD party! It was so fun. Junk food, games, music and dancing, and lots of energy! Then, two of her friends spent the night. At midnight, when Olivia and I went to bed, the girls were told they could stay up as long as they wanted, as long as they weren't loud. I guess that meant 4am! Crazy party animals.

Last night we made cake cone cupcakes for Alli to take to school today. I'm glad they still do that in middle school. She was excited. Tonight after the girls are done with dance class, Alli gets to choose a place to go out to dinner.

And, since Timm is missing all of this, we will do more celebrating this weekend when we take a family trip to LBI for a couple of days!

Do I need to even say this...I am having trouble loading a few pics. Seriously. When I have some more TIME to sit here and figure it out, I will. Really, seriously, blogging takes very little time until I try to load pictures and EVERY SINGLE STINKIN TIME it's something new! Sucks.

OK, that was my rant. Back to my glorious, sunny day.

I LOVE MY BABY ALLI!

DC

Whew....what a week.

Last Thursday Timm flew home and we went to Alli's curriculum night. So cool. Her teachers are truly top notch!

Friday morning we got up and headed out early. We met our friends about an hour outside of the city and swapped. Michelle and Sarah came with us, Timm joined Dave. The boys went to the Nascar race in Dover (HOT passes and all). The girls went to Washington DC.

Well, we actually stayed at Dave's parents house in Pennsylvania. But we made two day trips into DC. One day we did a tour of the capital building. WOW. Next day we visited the Holocaust museum, Museum of American History, Washington Monument, WWII memorial, white house, Lincoln Memorial...etc.

Then on Sunday, we enjoyed the country...horses, playing outside, riding bikes.

Not feeling too inspired to write. So, I'll load a few pics.

photos finally

Olivia's first day of school

Alli's first day of middle school.
Olivia got her unicycle! So far it's been less than a week and she can already take about 4 pedals without holding on to anything!
LABOR DAY! Jone's beach, this is Timm, Craig, Liv and Alli enjoying the water.
Raspberry mojitos on the terrace, Labor Day weekend.
Botanic Gardens in Brooklyn. Alli took about 50 gorgeous photos. Here are a couple.

Science project. Using corn starch and water and food coloring to create a solid and liquid!
I had lost my adapter to load photos onto the computer. Found it yesterday!

the sound of rain, the sound of music

A rainy Sunday.....the girls and I are getting ready to hunker down and watch "The Sound of Music" together. Daddy just left for the airport. He's been in Buffalo each week Sunday through Friday. We miss him when he's gone, but we enjoy our girl time too.

So, I found my adapter thing so I can load my photos onto this computer. Yay. Don't have time now, but watch for photos soon.

If we were still living in Richmond, we would have spent this weekend engaged in some long held traditions....opening ceremony of the Good Old Days Festival on Thursday night, wristbands for unlimited rides at the carnival Friday night, kiddie parade and games on Saturday, BIG parade on Sunday watching for which cousin would be driving the John Deere this year. We missed Rosie...so we look forward to pictures!

However, I felt like our weekend was just overflowing with wonderful NEW experiences in our NEW life.

Thursday night we were happy to have Timm come home and while he had a couple of guys over to rehearse for a drama they plan to do at church, I went to a friends and enjoyed a relaxing night while talking and planning for an upcoming women's retreat. I also got a text that day from my friend and there is going to be a girls weekend happening here in NYC in January!!!! YES!!!!!!!

Friday night we hosted our small group.

Saturday morning we headed out as a family to deliver meals on wheels in Manhattan. We also reflected on the events of Sept 11th and ended up driving right by the site of the attacks and the new freedom tower. After that, we stopped in and participated for an hour in the "24 hours of prayer" our church took part in. In the afternoon we celebrated the neighbors second birthday with a BBQ and party. As we sat there visiting with our new friends, and getting to know some new neighbors better, I felt so happy to be there! So incredibly blessed to have been "led" to this neighborhood. Meeting new people is so fascinating to me. And, I was just so happy to feel like we are a part of this cool little community.

Anyways, after going to church this morning, and then hanging out with another new friend for some pizza, we relaxed and enjoyed the rainy day. Timm and I spent about an hour working out (I would say we did it together, but we were in separate rooms - as there isn't a room big enough for us to work out together in!) But, I am still amazed all the time how Timm has made exercise and health a part of his life!

Anyways, we had about the best weekend I can think of! So, as I tell the girls "make new friends, but keep the old....one is silver and the other's gold". And, I think that applies to traditions and activities as well. Rather than missing things that I would be doing in MI (silver) I can't help but be happy about new things I do here (gold).

good news

You hear the gospel being referred to as the "good news". And, it is!

Last night at small group, I realized something. It's a simple thing that I already knew, but for some reason, it became so clear....

I'm in LOVE.

I am so in love with my creator. I love to spend time with Him. And why wouldn't I? If you get to know Him, I will GUARANTEE you will love Him too. How can I guarantee such a thing? Because, He IS LOVE. He doesn't just show love, give love, accept love....no....HE IS LOVE. There is nothing in the world like it.

As humans, our capacity for love is limited. It is often earned or contingent on performance or behavior.

But, when you go to God with an open heart, ready and willing to accept His FREE GIFT OF LOVE....you receive it. Bam! That's it. He loves you. No deals or bargains or promises. He extends love as a free gift. Now, your response is up to you.

I, for one, am thrilled to love Him in return and therefore honor Him as my Lord and worship Him and ask His advice and try to obey Him. But...just to be clear....I don't do ANY of that to earn his love. He is love. He loves. He couldn't love me any more or less than he does right now. I worship and obey him because I LOVE HIM!!!!

We talked in our small group about getting to know Jesus and how to do that. We even gave ourselves a rating on a scale of 1-10 on how we thought we were doing seeking him. Well, I am not a fan of those stupid 1-10 scales, but, this time I was able to answer pretty high. Not because I am good at obeying or reflecting his character, that is a whole different subject.

But, when it comes to seeking Him....I'm THERE!

Here's the thing. Why wouldn't I crave and desire to hang out with the most powerful force in the world...the one who spoke creation into existence? Yet, with the same power, He focuses right on ME and LOVES ME in a way that I could never experience from any other source! He looks me right in the eye, affirms me, tells me I am wonderfully made, promises to NEVER let me down, NEVER leave me, NEVER stop loving me, NEVER give me a reason to stop trusting him. The bible tells me that he sings and dances because he loves ME so much!

But, here's another thing....I BELIEVE HIM. I truly believe His claims and promises and love for me to be TRUE. I didn't always believe those things, so spending time with him seemed like a waste of time and energy.

So, I guess what I am saying is: Stop trying harder and start SEEKING and BELIEVING and TRUSTING. When you experience the love that Jesus offers you...when you truly experience that depth of love and honesty and truth, you will crave it. You will be so excited to hang out with him and to worship him and to obey him and to take a look at your own character and try to make changes to be more like him.

I even admitted in small group that sometimes I am excited when going to bed at night because I know that when I wake up in the morning, that is my quiet one on one time with God. That is my time to be showered with love and truth and purpose and grace (undeserved love and forgiveness). Who wouldn't be excited about waking up to that?!

Please don't get me wrong. When I say that I am doing good on this scale...it measures my SEEKING. And, I am so in love, that I am high on the seeking scale. But, the truth is, the more time I spend in His presence, the more he will convict me of my shortcomings. So, I would not rate myself so high on how well I am doing at obedience and reflecting His love to others. I desire to do those things, but I fall short because I am struggling against my sinful and selfish nature. So, I am not bragging about myself at all...I am simply letting everyone know....

I'M IN LOVE! And that is GOOD NEWS!

holiness

It's been a while since I posted!

Today in my devotional Oswald Chambers talks about being holy.

He says "we must continually remind ourselves of the purpose of life. We are not destined to happiness, nor to health, but to holiness. Today we have far too many desires and interests, and our lives are being consumed and wasted by them. Many of them may be right, noble, and good, and may later be fulfilled, but in the meantime God must cause their importance to us to decrease."

OUCH!

I won't say much more about that. It speaks for itself.

Am I continually reminding myself of my purpose? To be holy? Hmmmmm.

Some updates:

*Liv used her saved money to purchase a unicycle. She is eagerly awaiting it's arrival.

*Alli has decided to make a significant purchase with her saved money as well. She has been interested in photography for over a year. She is planning to buy herself a good camera!

*Timm has been working in Buffalo during the week, and home with us on the weekends. His schedule will continue to involve lots of travel this year, and will apparently unfold as we go along, with a good measure of unpredictability.

*Today Alli and I have a meeting with her new advisor at her new middle school.

*We have to take Liv to the doc because she has been complaining of pain in her leg for over a week.

*Friday we start up our small group and can not wait to reconnect with everyone after a long break.

*It's hot.

*Our good friend is in the hospital with a sudden and very serious illness. We are praying for her recovery and a bit in shock that someone could suddenly be so sick. Please pray for Jen and her family.

*Last Saturday night a sweet friend had the girls spend the night with her so that Timm and I could go out on a date. She even took them out to a cool restaurant for dessert! Timm and I had a marvelous time. Seriously. I feel like the most blessed woman on the face of the earth because of the husband/marriage God has given me. And then, on top of it, we have friends who will love on our girls so that we can go out? Come on.

*Praying every day for Grandma Kelly. Thanking God for the peace He has given us and praying for peace, comfort, and healing for Gramma. Also, thanking God for Aunt KT who is the only sibling able to be there with Gramma in MI. And, thanking God that my family is so awesome that they have stepped in where I cannot and offer love and help to my mom-in-law.

*There are 8 million things I could update, but I'll just say, I hope to continually remind myself of my purpose...to be holy. WHat is that? I think it is to strive to be more like Jesus every day. By taking the time to stop and ask God what HE wants me to do. I feel He is prompting me in some areas, and I eagerly await His provision to serve in the ways He is directing. I know that I have far too many "desires and interests" of my own. And, no matter how "right, noble, and good" they may be, I want to be walking in the path God has for me, not on my own path.

surprise!

Oh, surprises are so much stinkin fun!

I wanted to post a photo here of one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world. Because, she turned 40 this weekend, and I had the opportunity to be there to surprise her and celebrate in Chicago! But I am once again having technical difficulties with the photo download ISSUE.

But, let me just say, I had no idea 20 years ago, sitting in my World History class at community college, that the girl I was studying with would become such a huge part of my life FOREVER.

We studied together that semester, ended up going on a hilarious trip together that spring break (with her best bud from childhood who I have grown to love as well), and from that point, our lives have been forever immeshed and connected in so many ways.

I truly love this woman and thank God for bringing her into my life.

I am also so thankful for the generosity of her best bud from childhood who is about the best friend a girl could ever have. It was her who contacted me and begged me to come to Chicago to celebrate. She even covered a lot of my expenses to make it happen!

Carrie, you have an amazing husband, an incredible best friend, and we all love you! It has been hard to move so far away from you, but I am looking forward to every future opportunity we have to hang out, and all of the future milestone birthdays!

home

We're home!

What a long strange trip it's been (to be sung like the legendary dead song). Hey, I miss jammin to the grateful dead. I'll have to pull up some tunes today.

Ahhhhh, we arrived last night after 11 1/2 hours on the road from Charlotte, NC. We decided to stop at a restaurant first so we had the nourishment needed to do the unloading of the van. We stopped at a Spanish/Mexican restaurant in our hood that I love. Have only been there twice, so it felt like a real treat. Sat outside and enjoyed the meal with my girls, with the bustling street and sidewalk traffic to enjoy as we ate. Ahhh, feels like home.

When we pulled up, there was a perfect parking spot waiting for us in front of our place.

When we walked in, there was a message on the answering machine from my sister welcoming us back to our little home, and a poster on our wall from our neighbors saying they missed us! Come on! Who gets a welcome home like that?

Well, I have a lot of deep thoughts running through my head in regards to the "long strange trip". And, that is referring to the "trip" we've been on for quite some time. Living with Timm's parents, moving here, then this summer going back to MI, then spending time with family and friends in GA and NC, then coming back here......feeling blessed beyond any possible measure, yet dealing with the reality of this being difficult at times (especially for the girls). All I can say is that when you are smack dab in the middle of God's plan for your life, there is peace beyond all understanding! And, I'll take the peace! Even if I can never quite explain the "trip" in a way that makes sense.....I can say that there is peace and joy. And, deep down, that is what we are all craving. I feel so blessed to be floating in a sea of peace and joy. Thank you Lord!

Now, it's on to my day of unpacking, re-organizing, making room for some accumulation of items (clothes, shoes, books, toys), grocery shopping, laundry, catching up on emails, signing up for volunteer opportunities, making doctor appointments, going through mail......and just diving back into our life and reconnecting with friends.

And to everyone who made our summer of "Oh ten" so awesome....thank you. We don't take any of the hospitality for granted. We are so blessed!

sounds I love to hear

Here I am, my last full day in Georgia with my nieces.

What is that I hear?

The sounds of squealing laughter from 4 girls playing creatively. I love that sound.

What other sounds have I enjoyed this week?

A band playing "La Bamba" at an awesome mexican restaurant. Alli and I looked at each other and smiled at the memory of her and Daddy doing a duet.

The sound of splashing and someone screaming "my flip flooooooop....get my flip flooooop! It's floating awayyyyy!" As the girls played in the "crick" and pretended to be "noodlin" (for those of you who are not familiar with this pastime, it is the process by which individuals dive into murky water and catch humongous catfish with their bare hands by letting the fish chomp down on their limbs!

The sound of splashing into a pool.

The sound of my sister in law flipping pages as she has devoured almost 3 of the twilight books this week alone!

The sound of contented moans as my husband and children bite into their chick fil-a sandwiches, one of their favorite foods.

The sound of great tunes bellowing out of the stereo, while mild arguments erupt between Timm, his brother, and I about whether one can classify certain tunes as "folk" "Country" "Pop" etc. All the while enjoying a few adult beverages and our shared love for music.

The sound of our kids eagerly talking above each other after church to tell us all about the stories, dances, and lessons they took part in.

The sound of the a/c gently filling the house with air that sustains activities such as.... breathing, walking around, etc. Because, trying to do these activities outside could present serious health risks at temps over 100.

The sound of Timm's voice as he calls from Grand Rapids and fills me in on some of the awesome experiences God is placing in his life this week.

OK, tomorrow we pack up and head out to NC. Happy to be visiting my bud and her family!

More sounds to enjoy!

And, after that, I will enjoy the sound of returning HOME. Traffic, horns honking, playgrounds packed with children laughing and screaming, dogs barking, birds chirping, people from every walk of life passing by me on the sidewalk speaking in their native tongue, or cursing loudly as if there are not others present, talking on their cell phones, or maybe even yelling out at me and inquiring whether I am planning to burn in hell or would like to accept Jesus as my savior instead. And every other sound inbetween! Home sweet home.

God has blessed me with an unbelievable summer. Truly unbelievable. We are enjoying each moment.

more than just a book review

Well, I know how much I enjoy the book reviews on nugget's blog

But, I don't think I'm very good at book reviews.

However, I did finish reading a book this summer that I just can't keep to myself. Those who know me know that I find the teachings of Greg Boyd to be thought provoking, inspiring, and motivating. Last summer, I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reflecting on "Escaping the Matrix". In the Fall, I found "Seeing is Believing" to be amazing! This summer, I read "The Myth of a Christian Nation".

Now, I am not a person who would be identified as being "political". That may be one of the furthest interests or passions from my mind. And, this book affirmed for me, that I can in fact be a devoted follower of Jesus Christ, yet NOT belong to a certain political party or be too concerned about politics at all!

Go ahead, freak out on me. Tell me that I need to "take this country back for God!" or something like that. But, you simply will not get a passion rising in me in regard to politics. My allegiance is NOT of this world. No government or country or political party or law can change my allegiance to the kingdom of God.

Jesus described the kingdom over and over. He also modeled the kingdom. Then, he commanded us, as his followers, to grow his kingdom. He never encouraged us to be "religious". He never encouraged us to make laws that govern people's adherence to His holy way of living. He did not identify a people grou pr nation that God would love more than others. God is love and it would be impossible for him to love our country more than another.

He commanded us to love in a radical way. And, he modeled that love in his life, and in his death!

Anyways. I'm going to include a couple of excerpts from the book. And, you should see why I am not good at book reviews. I want to include the whole book!!! And I want to include my comments on each chapter!

Here's what does get me fired up. People who call themselves "Christian", yet do not LOVE. I just do NOT get it. It is so much easier to judge and hate and point the finger at others than it is to sacrificially LOVE. Don't get me wrong, I am not claiming to be good at LOVING like Jesus. I will be the first to admit that I am not good at it. But, I will continue to ask God to transform me into a person who Loves.

From the book, "Our central job is not to solve the world's problems. Our job is to draw our entire life from Christ and manifest that life to others. Nothing could be simpler - and nothing could be more challenging. Perhaps this is why we have allowed ourselves to be so thoroughly co-opted by the world. It's hard to communicate to a prostitute her unsurpassable worth by taking up a cross for her, serving her for years, gradually changing her on the inside, and slowly winning the trust to speak into her life (and letting her speak into our life, for WE TOO ARE SINNERS). Indeed, this sort of Calvary-like love requires one to die to self. It is much easier, and more gratifying to assume a morally superior stance and feel good about doing our Christian duty to vote against "the sin of prostitution". Perhaps this explains why many evangelicals spend more time fighting against certain sinners in the political arena than they do sacrificing for those sinners. "

I just imagine the Jesus of the bible. He met a woman who legally deserved to be put to death for the sin of adultery. Instead, he loved her, showed her grace, encouraged her to repent and turn from sin, and convicted others to quit judging and to look at their own sin. Hmmm. Interesting. Why didn't Jesus just go to the government and rally for stronger laws against adultery? Why didn't he use his power to just make all of the laws align with the commandments of God? Why didn't he let her get put to death as an example for how harsh the punishment would be for others who choose that behavior? Why? Because, that is not how the kingdom of God works. It works through love. Grace. Mercy. Serving others before yourself.

Oh, I am realizing that there is no way I can be brief in my thoughts about some of this stuff. When I read about the history of "the church" and the history of our nation, it completely boils my blood.

In the book, "This tragic history has to be considered one of Satan's greatest victories, and the demonic ironies abound. In the name of the one who taught us not to lord over others but rather to serve them (Matt 20:25-28) the church often lorded over others with a vengeance as ruthless as any version of the kingdom of the world ever has!.......If we don't declare this barbaric religious version of the kingdom of the world was not, is not, the kingdom of God, who will? While Christian apologists sometimes try to minimize the harm the church has done, making excuses for it whenever possible....kingdom people should rather be on the front row declaring that insofar as the church picked up the sword, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the kingdom of God..........To the extent that an individual or group looks like Jesus, dying for those who crucified him and praying for their forgiveness in the process - to that degree they can be said to manifest the kingdom of God. To the degree that they do not look like this, they do not manifest God's kingdom"

"....we need to continually remind ourselves how easy it is to give in to the Devil's temptation and, thereby desecrate the holiness of the kingdom. We need to always remember how subtle is the pull to be conformed to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2). We need to remain aware of how easy it is for us to be seduced by the demonic gods that pollute the American air we breathe - the gods of wealth, self-centeredness, greed, racism, nationalism, and violent triumphalism. Without noticing it, we can find ourselves morphing the radical gospel of Christ into a self-serving, Americanized, violent version of the kingdom of the world."

And, the final excerpt I want to share: "This is an amazing and significant new twist on the Christian religion. Indeed, it arguably constitutes a "new nationalistic religion". What we might call "the religion of American democracy". Like all religions, this religion has its own distinctive, theologized revisionist history (for instance, the "manifest destiny" doctrine whereby God destined Europeans to conquer the land). It has its own distinctive message of salvation (political freedom), its own "set apart" people group (America and its allies), its own creed ("we hold these truths to be self evident"), its own distinctive enemies (all who resist freedom and who are against America), its own distinctive symbol (the flag) and is own distinctive god (the national deity we are "under" who favors our causes and helps us to win our battles). This nationalistic religion co-opts Christian rhetoric, but it in fact has nothing to do with real Christianity, for it has nothing to do with the kingdom of God."

OK, so I have gone on a long rant. No problem if you didn't feel like reading it. Just felt compelled to share.

With which "religion" do you most closely identify?

The Christianity that is modeled after the radical love of Jesus? Where you are called to love, show grace and mercy, serve others, and lay down your life?

Or the Christianity that is called to "take America back for God" so that he will start blessing us again and favoring us. That is called to "rid the world of evil" and judge others and enforce christian values through the power of the government, rather than the power of loving relationships.

I am not saying we should never be involved in the politics of the world. I'm over simplifying to make my point. Don't rely on laws and rules and governmental power to spread the kingdom of God. It was NEVER intended to be spread that way. It is a mustard seed kingdom, start planting mustard seeds!

summer is here...

I've pretty much been unplugged all week. Feels good. That is one way that I unwind on vacation.

We arrived in Michigan early June 26th. Been enjoying every day here. Spending time with family and friends. Being able to celebrate my nephew's graduation party at my sister's house, my other nephew and niece's birthday party at my brother's house. Relaxing, eating, reading, swimming, and playing each day at Timm's parents house with all of his family. Allowing my girls to be spoiled by loved ones.

It has been truly awesome.

Yes, we have the reality of Timm's mom being sick. And, that sucks. But, how awesome that we have been here to help out in any way possible. Even if it is something as simple as offering her lemonade so she doesn't get dehydrated in the heat. And, God has answered our prayers for her to experience some peace and comfort. We've enjoyed many hours this week together, being fully "in the moment" that God has given us! He is so good.

Today I get to go out with my husband. Earlier this week, we marked our 14th year of marriage. He was out of town that day. But, today we had someone offer to have the girls hang out with them, so Timm and I are going to head out for some one on one time.

We are incredibly blessed and not a moment goes by that I am not praising God for the blessings he has lavished on me!

Summer is here. I will probably continue to go stretches of time being "unplugged". Ahhhh.

strength in weakness

Woke up this morning and realized that I left my bible and journal in the guest room where a guest is sleeping. So, I had to be high tech and read online, and now I am journaling in my blog.

Today, this is what jumped out at me. 2Corinthians 12:9-10

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Can I really "delight" in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties?

Really?

Maybe.

I am completely dependent on the grace of my father in heaven. So, when I am weak, that is when I know how strong HE is!

He tells me that his grace is sufficient for me, and I believe it.

I don't have to be strong, I have to let HIM be strong within me.

So, if I ever appear to be strong or to have power, please know that you are seeing the strength and power of our beautiful God who is pure love. It isn't me.

Thank you Lord for your word.