filthy mouth!

Wow. We have noticed a significant difference in the language people use freely here in NYC. And, I sure hope I never pick up on it! The use of profanity crosses ethnic and social divides. It seems everyone is doing it! And, in my utter frustration just minutes ago, I am going to admit...uh oh, I just freaked out... and out of mouth flew extremely filthy language. I can get SO frustrated with technology. Again, the problem arises of my inability to simply transfer some photos to my computer. I'm not going into detail, let's just say, I may need to work on my self control of the mouth. Ya think?

OK, minus the photos, I'd like to say, I just had a fabulous birthday. I was reflecting yesterday...why do we celebrate birthdays? I mean, the person was simply "born". They didn't accomplish anything special. Shouldn't we, as a culture that celebrates accomplishments, effort and hard work, honor the MOM every time there is a birthday. She's the one who did the work!

However, it makes perfect sense. I am reading another book by Donald Miller. Love this guy. It's called "Searching for God knows what." He articulates perfectly something that I already "know" but need to be reminded of. He explains an Epiphany where he realizes that he feels something missing in himself. He craves some bit of something to make him feel special or important or valued. So, he tried to attach himself to a certain identity because it made him feel smart (or more honestly, it made other people tell him he was smart). So, he starts to realize that he is wired in a way that other people told him who he was. Like, he needed something outside of himself to tell him who he was. Well, we all crave that! And, the truth is, God is offering to do just that! He is waiting for a relationship with us where HE can fill us up and give us our true identity. But, if we neglect to be filled with HIM telling us who we are, we will turn elsewhere to seek it. We not only crave it, we need it. We will ascribe ourselves value based on SOMETHING. Why not let it be the value God created us with!!!????

So, maybe that is a tangent you don't find so intriguing. That's fine. I'm sure it is more relevant within the rest of the text I'm reading. However, it made me realize that, as much as I HATE to admit it.....I do this. Here it was my birthday, and of course it was great to be acknowledged by so many! I felt valued, important, loved. That's how God will make us feel all the time, if we just turn to him instead of the world. And, because every single one of us has this deep need to feel loved and valued and affirmed, we created a way to assure that at least one day a year, you have the opportunity to experience that feeling of being special. Right? Interesting. And, it's great. I just wish we could realize that God is there every single moment to fill that deep need with more love and affirmation than we will EVER get from the world. He created us and loves us unconditionally!

OK, so, my birthday :) I received a ton of happy wishes on facebook, email and texts. Thanks to all. I was honored by my sister in her blog. I treated myself to "eyebrow five dollah" and had my eyebrows waxed. Went out for a run, and it was the first time I have done that in a week because I needed to rest after feeling sick. I got a nice picture from Liv and beautiful flowers from Timm. I got some cards in the mail, and a few phone calls that meant a lot! Thank you to everyone who made me feel special! Then, I went out to dinner with my family to an EXCELLENT restaurant and I overate quite a bit. But it was so good and I justified every bite beyond full by saying "It's my birthday".

Birthdays are a great time to be reminded of how much you are loved by others! But, I hope I can remember that as special as I felt yesterday, God feels that way about me every second of my life. More than I can even grasp! That deep need I have to feel special, important, valued and worthwhile....I want HIM to affirm that. And, I hope you can find that affirmation in HIM too. Quit looking for other things to give you that and to fill you up, like what others' think, or your accomplishments or your talents and abilities, or your looks or your possessions, or whatever it is that makes you feel special. You already are special...just because you are you!