That's Pun!

I am sitting here basking in the joy of good times, family, and lots of love.

We were not able to go to Florida as we had planned for our winter break. So, we decided to stay here in NYC, since we have not taken the time to do that as a family. To enjoy some time off at home. Ahhhh, good choice.

We talked some family into visiting! Even though they only had two days off work, and they had to break the drive up into four days to accommodate the star of the visit (our two year old niece), they did it! And we are so grateful!

Katie, Kelly, Izzy and Alyssa came to NYC. And, it was PUN. (Izzy says her "F" as a "P" right now, so we like to do it too). It might have been my girls who taught her to walk around repeating "I parted.....it was punny." However, the adults need to hold themselves responsible for repeating this particular phrase OVER and OVER all weekend! I'm not sure why we find the topic of having gas so stinkin hysterical. But, we do.

After church on Sunday, we said goodbye to our visitors as we ate some lunch and got ready for our Daytona 500 "party".

Timm has been looking forward to the kick off of this Nascar season. We invited some friends to come over, watch the race, get in on a bet, eat some junk, and hang out. Surprisingly, we only had about four takers. Where are all the Nascar fans? Apparently, not in NYC. Actually, it was a perfectly wonderful day. I had fun looking at old photo albums and showing off old hairstyles with my lady friends, Timm had a great time watching the race. In the end, Alli won the betting pool. And, I must say, I really enjoyed the last few laps of the race. Everyone else had taken off, and the girls were playing with a friend, and it was just Timm and I (me asking 50 questions about what was going on). Good times.

Yesterday, we enjoyed such a great evening out! The four of us went to the Met, where the girls sketched some ancient roman artifacts. Then we went to Serendipity. We had a gift certificate that had been sitting around for over a year! We had heard that their desserts are amazing, and we were pretty excited! We put our name in and it was over an hour wait. So, we went to Dylan's Candy Bar in the meantime. It was INSANE! Anyways, I can NOT believe we did this, but when we finally sat down in this adorable little place, my girls said they were hungry for dinner. Liv said she really felt like a salad. However, we had eaten before we left and we were really planning on indulging in the DESSERTS! So, what did we do? We talked our children into skipping salad or sandwich and eating DESSERT for dinner!!! Who does that? Ha! I can't believe we did that. It was AWESOME! I will let the picture speak for themselves. We definitely INDULGED.

Wow, this winter break sure is off to a good start. More fun things planned for the rest of the break, and enjoying the rest and relaxation as well.

Now, to attach the pictures!

Going green?

It struck me, once again, while visiting my folks in Michigan, that they have been the model of "going green" way before it was a hip little saying that referenced behavior that contributes to the care and concern for our natural resources on planet earth.

Now, I will be clear. They have never, to my knowledge, been motivated by the concern for our natural resources, but rather, the cost of the use of those natural resources. But, hey, who says that's not still "green" right?

All those strange and embarrassing things I had to admit our family did while growing up? Those things would be so cool now!

Some examples: We had solar heat panels installed on the roof of our home.

We separated our trash and only threw away cans and glass (however, rather than recycle the rest, we took it out back and burned it in a barrel) then we consolidated garbage with my grandma and only had the truck make one stop.

Rather than subscribing to the newspaper, we wait until the neighbor is finished reading it and they pass it along by dropping it in the paper box that was affixed to the mailbox for this purpose alone.

Reuse of all bags, boxes, and containers. And I mean all. baggies were washed and reused. Plastic cutlery lasted a lifetime by hand washing and reusing. Napkins were tossed after use, but those were always snagged from McDonald's or someplace anyways. I remember feeling so humiliated when I wasn't allowed to throw away my disposable paper lunch sack, but used it over and over until it finally split and the apple inside went rolling away.

parkay containers became freezer jam containers. Cool whip containers were Tupperware.

We had those high efficiency light bulbs way before anyone else.

We had a water conservation contraption on the shower head that only allowed a stream of water out at a time (picture holding your thumb over the end of a hose so only a stream comes shooting out) ahhh, refreshing feeling in the shower....watch your eyes!

If you left your radio playing or light on in a bedroom without being in there......well, let's just say you didn't do that!

My dad carpooled to work every day for almost 40 years.

We canned and froze our own vegetables and fruit, raised our own chickens (and a couple of hogs when I was really little), hunted for some of the meat (venison, rabbit, pheasant). We had a deep freezer in our basement that could easily fit 5 dead bodies and it was full. We had a pantry that looked like a fully stocked grocery store. Things were bought on sale, in bulk, and frozen or shelved with a date written on them in a magic marker.

OK, that's just a few things off the top of my head. I'm sure there are countless other things. And, in hindsight, I am SO glad they did all of these things (and still do). Because, regardless of their motivation (to save money) it has still reduced the carbon footprint of the Carlson clan.

And, I might add, that by saving all that money, they were able to buy the condo in Florida where they spend each winter (and invite us to visit and vacation for free!)

My parents.....going green. I might have been embarrassed as a kid, but now I am proud.

My Godmother

As most of my friends know, my Aunt Karin, who is also my Godmother, lost her battle with cancer last Friday and went to meet her Heavenly Father for eternal rest.

It has been such a bittersweet week all the way around. Last Thursday, January 27, I awoke to a dumping of snow so terrific that I immediately went to the computer to check on the status of school closings. Sure enough, no school for NYC! That was great, except that my friends were flying into town that evening to visit and spend a "girls weekend" in the city. I was afraid their flight would be delayed or cancelled.

We enjoyed the snow day and played outside and shoveled a ton! I even enjoyed a long lunch with my friend.

Later in the evening, I spoke on the phone with my Mom as she sat at my aunt's bedside with all of the other family members in Michigan. She held the phone up to my aunt's ear so I could say a few last words to her. She passed away that night....Peacefully, in her home, with my Dad and sister there with her. It really sucked that I was not there with them for those moments. But, I really felt peace about the fact that neither God nor my aunt would want me to spend a lot of time in regret and anxiety about something I could not change. So, I went ahead with my girl's weekend and had an absolutely marvelous time, knowing all along that I was honoring my aunt by living life to the full and finding joy in the blessings God has given me.

Meanwhile, while I'm out whooping it up with my friends all weekend, my husband (and I am not even going to start gushing about him, because there is NO WAY I could contain it in this post, or even in mere words. Let me just say that he is the BEST. THE BEST) planned my flight to MI. He used his airline rewards to get me a cheap ticket, and set everything up for me. After meeting my family at church Sunday and spending a couple of hours with them afterwards, I headed to the airport.

So bittersweet. I haven't carved out time like this for my immediate family in WAY too long. We visited, reminisced, cried, laughed, and shared together a lot.

We dug through boxes of old photos and memorabilia that dated as far back as the 1930's. We pieced together family stories and lineages. I had a great time reading my Grandpa's diary of his return visit to Sweden in 1957. He left there in 1922 when he was 17 years old. He returned for the first (and only) time in 1957 to visit his dying mother and to visit the grave of his sister and dad. I never met my grandpa, as he died at the age of 59, long before I was even born.

But, it was SO COOL to reflect on the lives of my recent ancestors. They had to endure some incredible hardships. Yet, they stuck it out. Who knows what marital struggles they had in the midst of such difficult lives. Yet, they were so tough. And, there I sat with my parents who are married 42 years and felt literally overwhelmed with blessings to have come from my family.

It was so special to celebrate the life of my aunt. She never married, never had children of her own. Instead, she chose a life of servitude to others. She was undivided in her passion for Jesus. He was her first love, and everyone knew it.

At her memorial Monday night, some of us got up and shared. I shared that, although she was my Godmother, she actually was a godmother to every niece and nephew, and everyone she met! She never talked to anyone without encouraging them to pray and reminding them that God loved them. Person after person stepped up to the microphone and shared, and each person felt that they were uniquely loved and special to "aunt karin". After a while, it became so clear that there was a common thread in what each person shared. She treated every one of us as the most special person. She told us each how special we were and never hesitated to encourage our walk with God. Wow. Not only that, but she truly put others first. Always. She was a servant.

It was a humbling time. I think we all realized that we took her for granted. But, we talked about how inspired we are to search out ways to be the "aunt karin" to others who may not be fortunate enough to have that influence in their lives.

I have to end with this. If you have heard it many times, that's fine...you can skim it. I know this is a long post. But, we sang this as a hymn at the conclusion of her funeral mass, and I had tears of joy as I remembered singing this song with her as a kid all the time. She even had it printed on her memory cards. And, she really lived it out.....It's the Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen

What the crap?

OK, I have no idea what the title means. I just truly enjoy using the word crap and when I say it, Olivia asks me if I could PLEASE not say that word. Geesh.

I haven't posted in a while. Been a bit funky. Typical January blahs mixed with Timm being gone, kids being sick, and a few other variables. I'm not sad, but just haven't felt hugely inspired.

Have been enjoying listening to Woodland Hills messages, as usual. Boyd has been talking about wrestling with God. Ahh, permission to wrestle. Love it. Just what I needed. Because, my nature is to wrestle. If my brother read this, he would comment in agreement. We spent so many of our hours as kids just wrestling. It went something like this: I'd start a fight with him by aggravating him and provoking him in every way possible, he would engage, I would laugh and run and eventually fight, we'd claw at each other and wrestle all over until he started to dominate, at which point I would scream "Mooooooooooom!" and then I'd tell on him when, in actuality, I had started the whole thing. I didn't realize this pattern until I reflected on it later in life and clearly determined that our wrestling stopped when he surpassed me in size and strength and could easily kick my butt. Hmmmm? coincidence? I think not.

ANYWAYS, I love that God wants me to wrestle with him. And, there are times when I am ready, on the mat, wearing my ridiculous stretchy suit thing....OK, get the visual? LET'S GO!

And, with perfect timing, we are having a "forum" on Sunday morning at church. Questions and answers. And, I have questions.

Let me be clear, I have faith. That is something I have committed to. I am committed to this journey with God and I am fully engaged in it. But, that doesn't mean I will not continue to have questions. That is just my nature. Again, if my childhood teachers read this, they would concur. I was that ANNOYING kid in class who had to ask "why?" 50 times before moving on. And, I was never completely satisfied with the answers, but eventually I'd let it rest. Then, Kel will testify to my insatiable appetite for argument during Philosophy 101 at SC4. UGH! It was maddening. "I think, therefore I am....." Don't even get me started.

As a matter of fact, philosophers are the reason I am known to favor the phrase "that's a bunch of crap..." cuz I sincerely get tired of all the stupid thought processes.

Anyways, you can see why I haven't blogged in a while. Too many thoughts and words flopping around my cranium.

I don't think I'm going to voice some of my questions right now. I'm just so glad that God loves me, questions and all. He doesn't ask me to get everything figured out and THEN place faith in Him. Nope. He asks me to place faith in him and come to him with all of my questions, doubts, fears, concerns, and....crap. Yep, in my world, God says crap.

And, here is one thing he is asking me to do and I am wrestling with....."drop the agenda and love." OK, I don't feel like I have an agenda. But, I do. And I am really struggling with myself. How do I sincerely drop my agenda of "bringing people to Christ" if I so badly want everyone to know the joy and peace and contentment and everlasting life that I know?!?! Well, I am wrestling with that, but I can say, if I am loving people for the sake of LOVING them, and I am not ashamed of the hope I have and I am not selecting who I will love based on their beliefs or trajectory in life....I am starting to get it a little bit. I have been reading the gospels over and over to learn about Jesus and how he lived. That is my ultimate goal. To become more and more like him. He loved so completely. Yet, he was such a rebel. He did not have a problem letting the pharisees know what he thought about their "religion" and he did not have a problem hanging out with prostitutes and tax collectors. He also did not have a problem speaking the hard truth to those who asked for it. Even if that meant that they walked away from him when they found out the cost of following him. He didn't try to make his message more appealing to them. But, he did all of that in LOVE.

Anyways, I will try to be more focused in the future when I sit down to post. But, I am often unable to really discipline my train of thought. Good thing God doesn't mind my tangential rambling....my journal is literally FILLED with it.

when is bragging OK?

Is it ever OK to brag about your kids? I really feel it is OK to do! But perhaps it is completely annoying to others. I don't know.

I think if you have an overall humble nature and are aware of your shortcomings, and those of your children, then it's OK to be pretty dang proud of them when they display a talent, skill or gift. Ya know? I do think it is annoying when a parent clearly feels their child can do NO wrong is is exceptional at EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. That's different. That's delusional or dishonest.

Well, I am proud of my Alli. She really has shown some amazing potential as she dances. And, it is so cool to watch. And she was asked if she could fill in for someone at the studio who is in the senior dance company but cannot be at one of the recitals. That would mean some work on Alli's part to be an "understudy" with the senior company. Not sure we can commit the time, since she is struggling a bit to balance her course work right now. But, I felt proud that she was asked and I hope she can do it.

And Olivia was picked to be a part of a program at her school called "young talent". She gets to participate in music instruction once a week during school hours, and do a performance at the end of the year. She makes a commitment to be in it for 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. She will learn SO MUCH! And, both of my girls really do have an amazing ear for music. It's so cool.

So there, I brag about my kids. And, I think that's OK.

edit last post

Last night I gave Olivia her little notebook and she grabbed it from me and hugged it to her and said "this is private mom....I don't want you to read it." Oops. I neglected to mention to her that I not only read it, but posted on the internet for everyone to see!

Anyways, I told her I already read it and they were wonderful poems.

She informed me they are songs.

Then she told me Alli wrote one of them.

So, I have to mention that the one entitled "PURPOSE" is Alli's song.

Couldn't go without mentioning!

Liv's writing

I hope Liv doesn't get mad at me. But, today I was up to my eyeballs in arts, crafts, paints, papers, stickers, markers, etc. I was sorting and organizing the girls' stuff.

If you know Liv, you may know that she has a bit of an obsession with journals, notebooks, diaries, note pads, etc. We try to keep them "organized" but I find them all over the place. They are usually titled and intended for a very specific purpose. For example, "summer journal" "doodles" "christmas journal" "new york journal" "poems" "songs" and on and on.

Today I came across one that wasn't titled. I just love reading what she writes! Here is an excerpt of what I found.

PRESSURE:

little things happen

every day.

little things happen

every night.

little people from the country

come to see the world.

everything has changed -

for us to do tonight.

come with me

it's our night!

come and see us

come and look

come and seek us

come and find us

when our home has

found the rest

we will sit and look

when we found our everything

we will go find

somewhere to rest

we will sit down and rest

and lift up our hearts

and say "halaluyia

our people have changed

halaluyia our city has

CHANGED."

PURPOSE:

some people have feelings

some people have no feelings

some people are like me and don't know what they have

or what their purpose is

THE LAKESIDE:

I was sitting by the lakeside

watching the fish jump

I watched them as they leaped out of the water

all night long.

The trees were fully bloomed

the flowers were beautiful

the lake was sparkling by the sun

It had no-one

but

EVERYONE.

BEAUTIFUL DREAMS

Everything that you dream is beautiful.

as you dream it fades away.

let that be the one that you find.

let that be the one that you like.

now lift up high.

I find this stuff all the time. I mean, she was 7 or 8 when she wrote this. Kinda neat to see how she thinks. But, sometimes she gets embarrassed when I want to read it or show other people. So, I might have offended her. But, for those of you who love Livvy, I had to share. Her heart is so sweet.