There are times when I get frustrated because it seems like God could make it a lot easier for people to believe in him. Like, he could do anything! Yet, he often times leaves it to unworthy and ill-equipped people like me to try to explain Him to others. And He seems to remain just far enough away from my grasp, that I have to really make efforts to connect with him. Stuff like that makes me stop and ask "why in the world does God have to be so mysterious?"
But here is the thing I know for sure. God is love. ICor says that Love is patient and kind and does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not INSIST on it's own way, it is not irritable or resentful. And GOD IS LOVE. He doesn't merely demonstrate love, HE IS LOVE. Love doesn't force itself. God extends a loving, patient, gentle invitation to me. He desires nothing more than for me to respond to that invite and engage in a love relationship with him. That's why he made me. But, my response has to be out of love. It can't be forces, coerced, or done out of guilt. It can't be something that I do simply because I'm sure I'll receive external blessings in my life. It can't be done so that I escape punishment. That's not love. That's just using God for my own purposes.
God loves us so much that he gives us absolute freedom to choose. And, He can not love us and then try to manipulate us. That's not love. And, he HAS revealed himself in so many ways. But, we often choose to doubt whether those "stories" are true. Or, we try to give alternate explanations for things. Even for stories in the bible. We get to decide whether we believe those revelations.
But, here is another thing I know for sure. Besides the fact that God is love. I know that once you accept His loving, patient, gentle invitation, you WILL get to know Him like you have never imagined! Once your faith moves beyond a hypothesis that you are pretty sure could be true, and into a faith where you make a CHOICE to BELIEVE it....you enter into a relationship with your creator. He gives you the holy spirit. He begins to reveal things to you, you experience his closeness, you get to KNOW HIM. The God of the universe. And, NOTHING can compare to that. NOTHING. It is why you were created.
He is there. He is extending His love. But, he won't force it. He can't. That's not love. He is waiting patiently for you to accept and join Him. So......dew it.
About Me
- Superstar
- I'm not really a superstar, except maybe to my husband, who I happen to be deeply in love with. My life: Discovering, growing, evolving, learning to live and love like Jesus, and accepting invitations to adventure along the way.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Cramming it in
Yep, we're cramming it all in! Me and my girls. First, we are back to doing a little bit of school each day. Not much, but we really dropped the ball this summer! We weren't even consistent with devotional/bible reading and journaling. So, we've been spending some great time doing that daily, as well as some math. And, add to that some sweet "field trips".
Thursday evening we took a nice long bike ride in PRospect Park. Checked out the entrance to the zoo and the children's area surrounding that. We decided we needed to go back when it was all open. Meanwhile, we walked around the little lake and the children's area, just checking things out.
Friday we went to the Brooklyn Children's museum and spent about 5 hours there. It was great. What a wonderful day. After 5 hours, the place was closing, we were leaving and Liv said "what?? we have to go? Can we come back soon?" I said, "sure" because the cool thing is that I was able to use our Detroit Science Center pass to get in for free (recipricol agreement thing is very cool).
Today, we went into Manhattan for "summer streets". They close off Park Ave from the Brooklyn Bridge all the way to Central Park. No vehicles are aloud, just bikers, roller bladers, walkers, etc. from 1am-1pm. And, there was a family stage area where we listened to a band, the kids jumped in a bounce house, we grabbed a few free samples (mmm, cheese). Then we went into the American Girl Doll store (or world or whatever it is). Wow. That was wild. Three stories of American Girl Doll.....OK.....
We came back home for a little rest, then headed out to Prospect Park - me jogging - the girls biking. Yay, I got to squeeze in a jog (see my last entry). We visited "Letfer's house" which is this old farmhouse from the 1800's. We got to do a tour, the girls dressed up in olden day clothes and bonnets, played with some olden day toys, I couldn't beleive how long they stayed and enjoyed it. Again, they didn't wanna leave and it was closing! So, we finished off with the rest of our bike ride/jog with a quick visit to a playground with a little waterfall thing for the girls to run around and cool off in.
Cramming in all of the free fun activities I can! Cramming in time with my sweet girls. Cramming in some school work. And yet, feeling relaxed and enjoying it SO MUCH!
Tomorrow morning we're going to check out a church in a nearby neighborhood to peek at how they do things (specifically to see how they run their kids program). Then, we're taking advantage of another free performance (Afro-Latino dance) in Lincoln Center in the afternoon before we head to our church in the evening.
So, for those of you asking me to keep you posted on what we're up to, here you go:) We're having a great time.
Expecting a heat wave for the next few days, then our friends are coming to visit mid week!!!! YAY! Can't wait for that!
God is good to us!
Thursday evening we took a nice long bike ride in PRospect Park. Checked out the entrance to the zoo and the children's area surrounding that. We decided we needed to go back when it was all open. Meanwhile, we walked around the little lake and the children's area, just checking things out.
Friday we went to the Brooklyn Children's museum and spent about 5 hours there. It was great. What a wonderful day. After 5 hours, the place was closing, we were leaving and Liv said "what?? we have to go? Can we come back soon?" I said, "sure" because the cool thing is that I was able to use our Detroit Science Center pass to get in for free (recipricol agreement thing is very cool).
Today, we went into Manhattan for "summer streets". They close off Park Ave from the Brooklyn Bridge all the way to Central Park. No vehicles are aloud, just bikers, roller bladers, walkers, etc. from 1am-1pm. And, there was a family stage area where we listened to a band, the kids jumped in a bounce house, we grabbed a few free samples (mmm, cheese). Then we went into the American Girl Doll store (or world or whatever it is). Wow. That was wild. Three stories of American Girl Doll.....OK.....
We came back home for a little rest, then headed out to Prospect Park - me jogging - the girls biking. Yay, I got to squeeze in a jog (see my last entry). We visited "Letfer's house" which is this old farmhouse from the 1800's. We got to do a tour, the girls dressed up in olden day clothes and bonnets, played with some olden day toys, I couldn't beleive how long they stayed and enjoyed it. Again, they didn't wanna leave and it was closing! So, we finished off with the rest of our bike ride/jog with a quick visit to a playground with a little waterfall thing for the girls to run around and cool off in.
Cramming in all of the free fun activities I can! Cramming in time with my sweet girls. Cramming in some school work. And yet, feeling relaxed and enjoying it SO MUCH!
Tomorrow morning we're going to check out a church in a nearby neighborhood to peek at how they do things (specifically to see how they run their kids program). Then, we're taking advantage of another free performance (Afro-Latino dance) in Lincoln Center in the afternoon before we head to our church in the evening.
So, for those of you asking me to keep you posted on what we're up to, here you go:) We're having a great time.
Expecting a heat wave for the next few days, then our friends are coming to visit mid week!!!! YAY! Can't wait for that!
God is good to us!
Friday, August 14, 2009
A sad goodbye
This week has been filled with many goodbyes. Friends......Family.......hometown and state.......
And, here we are in our new home, and I find myself having to say goodbye again. This time I must part ways with a treasured possesion that has been a significat part of my life for the past 10 years. Yes, it is my treadmill.
Apparantly something must have gotten "jacked up" during the move.
It was actually comical. Monday morning, Timm's gone to work, girls are in PJ's slowly easing into the day, and I hop on my treadmill for a run. Pop my earbuds in and start jogging. As i'm bopping along, I am FILLED with joy. I am literally praising God over and over....for the beautiful apartment I'm in, and the fact that it actually has room for my treadmill, and I'm able to go for a jog while the kids are right there in the living room. I'm actually running with a big smile on may face because I am so happy.
Suddenly...."what in the world is that screeching noise? and, oops, what just happened? the belt hesitated. what the?"
I look down, and the belt had shifted a bit and was off track and screeching along and not doing well.
After I used my keen mechanical sense and bloodied my knuckles trying to get the belt back into position through brute strength and hand dexterity....I conceded that I was losing the battle.
Chalk up another thing on Daddy's "honey-do" list.
"Come on girl's....get dressed...let's go for a bike ride so mommy can finish her jog." So, the girls biked, while I jogged along. And, that was fine. But, they simply don't have the endurance right now to go as far or fast as I'd like.
Well, Timm gave his best effort to save the life of our beloved. But, to no avail. She was pronounced dead on Wednesday evening at 9:30pm.
So, I used my jumprope a few times this week, as I can watch the girls play at the park while getting my exercise in. Or I can go in the "back yard" while they are in the apartment. And, I used my new Tae Bo dvd (believer's workout-which was kinda neat). But, I am jonesing for a run.
So, I think I may have to do a little shopping. I looked on Craigslist and online. I don't need anything fancy. But, I believe I need to say goodbye, pitch this baby to the curb and find a replacement!
And, here we are in our new home, and I find myself having to say goodbye again. This time I must part ways with a treasured possesion that has been a significat part of my life for the past 10 years. Yes, it is my treadmill.
Apparantly something must have gotten "jacked up" during the move.
It was actually comical. Monday morning, Timm's gone to work, girls are in PJ's slowly easing into the day, and I hop on my treadmill for a run. Pop my earbuds in and start jogging. As i'm bopping along, I am FILLED with joy. I am literally praising God over and over....for the beautiful apartment I'm in, and the fact that it actually has room for my treadmill, and I'm able to go for a jog while the kids are right there in the living room. I'm actually running with a big smile on may face because I am so happy.
Suddenly...."what in the world is that screeching noise? and, oops, what just happened? the belt hesitated. what the?"
I look down, and the belt had shifted a bit and was off track and screeching along and not doing well.
After I used my keen mechanical sense and bloodied my knuckles trying to get the belt back into position through brute strength and hand dexterity....I conceded that I was losing the battle.
Chalk up another thing on Daddy's "honey-do" list.
"Come on girl's....get dressed...let's go for a bike ride so mommy can finish her jog." So, the girls biked, while I jogged along. And, that was fine. But, they simply don't have the endurance right now to go as far or fast as I'd like.
Well, Timm gave his best effort to save the life of our beloved. But, to no avail. She was pronounced dead on Wednesday evening at 9:30pm.
So, I used my jumprope a few times this week, as I can watch the girls play at the park while getting my exercise in. Or I can go in the "back yard" while they are in the apartment. And, I used my new Tae Bo dvd (believer's workout-which was kinda neat). But, I am jonesing for a run.
So, I think I may have to do a little shopping. I looked on Craigslist and online. I don't need anything fancy. But, I believe I need to say goodbye, pitch this baby to the curb and find a replacement!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
new this week...
Lots of new experiences this week.
First visit to Roosevelt Island and a ride on the tram (which is like a big huge gondola)
First trip to Coney Island Beach. On a VERY HOT day, we hung out with about 7,000 of our closest friends, crammed on a little parcel of sand, wedged shoulder to shoulder. OK, none of them were actually friends, but after being that close to people who were dressed that minimally, I feel intimate with many of them.
Figured out a different grocery store that is only .5 miles from our apartment. Much better produce selection...AND...I was VERY pleasantly surprised by the reasonalbe prices!!! All of my fretting over high grocery expenses, and maybe that won't be as big of a deal as I thought. THe girls and I rode our bikes (fyi-we started wearing helments, which will somewhat ease the minds of my safety conscious friends). Anyways, that was very exciting for me. Easy walk or bike ride.
We found a pool today. THE HUGEST POOL I'VE EVER SEEN. And, it is FREE! YES! YES! YES! I love free. ANyways, we have to walk about 10 min to subway, ride about 15 min on train and walk another 10 min. But, it is a nice pool and I am very excited about that. Wish I had found it two days ago when it was 95. Today it is only 85.
What else? Oh, speaking of 95 degrees, we have wall unit AC in every single room of the apartment. But, they don't work. HA. So, we had to make a run to target to buy a couple of fans for sleeping.
Every outing is an adventure right now. Very different from navigating a suburb.
What else? ENjoyed bible study at our friends apartment and learned that the timing is perfect for us to start a new small group. THere were 23 people crammed in the apartment! Hopefully some friends will wanna hang out with us in Brooklyn to enjoy bible study, food, prayer, and laughs. Our friends do Tuesday evening, but we'd like to do Friday evenings because then we can party into the wee hours and not be concerned about getting up for school/work in the morning.
Just visited a dance studio that is around the corner. Have an appointment for Aug 24 to meet the dance lady and ask questions, etc.
On our walk home, we came across a box of books at the curb that we picked through and found a few treasures. Also, saw that someone is having a YARD SALE one street over from us this Saturday. THat is just hiarious.
Well, I'll update more frequently, and less lengthy, if I can. Some day maybe I will master the art of communicating with LESS WORDS. For now, you are the sucka who reads this! Sorry.
We are enjoying our last month of summer. Trying to soak up the city before I have to say goodbye to my beautiful girls and send them off to school where they will be influenced by others for 6-7 hours each day, while I miss hanging out with them and laughing and learning and loving on them.
more soon....
First visit to Roosevelt Island and a ride on the tram (which is like a big huge gondola)
First trip to Coney Island Beach. On a VERY HOT day, we hung out with about 7,000 of our closest friends, crammed on a little parcel of sand, wedged shoulder to shoulder. OK, none of them were actually friends, but after being that close to people who were dressed that minimally, I feel intimate with many of them.
Figured out a different grocery store that is only .5 miles from our apartment. Much better produce selection...AND...I was VERY pleasantly surprised by the reasonalbe prices!!! All of my fretting over high grocery expenses, and maybe that won't be as big of a deal as I thought. THe girls and I rode our bikes (fyi-we started wearing helments, which will somewhat ease the minds of my safety conscious friends). Anyways, that was very exciting for me. Easy walk or bike ride.
We found a pool today. THE HUGEST POOL I'VE EVER SEEN. And, it is FREE! YES! YES! YES! I love free. ANyways, we have to walk about 10 min to subway, ride about 15 min on train and walk another 10 min. But, it is a nice pool and I am very excited about that. Wish I had found it two days ago when it was 95. Today it is only 85.
What else? Oh, speaking of 95 degrees, we have wall unit AC in every single room of the apartment. But, they don't work. HA. So, we had to make a run to target to buy a couple of fans for sleeping.
Every outing is an adventure right now. Very different from navigating a suburb.
What else? ENjoyed bible study at our friends apartment and learned that the timing is perfect for us to start a new small group. THere were 23 people crammed in the apartment! Hopefully some friends will wanna hang out with us in Brooklyn to enjoy bible study, food, prayer, and laughs. Our friends do Tuesday evening, but we'd like to do Friday evenings because then we can party into the wee hours and not be concerned about getting up for school/work in the morning.
Just visited a dance studio that is around the corner. Have an appointment for Aug 24 to meet the dance lady and ask questions, etc.
On our walk home, we came across a box of books at the curb that we picked through and found a few treasures. Also, saw that someone is having a YARD SALE one street over from us this Saturday. THat is just hiarious.
Well, I'll update more frequently, and less lengthy, if I can. Some day maybe I will master the art of communicating with LESS WORDS. For now, you are the sucka who reads this! Sorry.
We are enjoying our last month of summer. Trying to soak up the city before I have to say goodbye to my beautiful girls and send them off to school where they will be influenced by others for 6-7 hours each day, while I miss hanging out with them and laughing and learning and loving on them.
more soon....
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Family Time
Wow. I know you are sick of hearing how great my summer is :) Sorry. Not done yet.
I cannot express how thankful I am that we were able to be a part of my cousins wedding celebration this past weekend. Not only did we get to celebrate with him, but it afforded us an opportunity to visit Michigan's beautiful Upper Penninsula, do some sight seeing, visit the casino, and hang out with my family.
I wish I could post a picture of my cousin and his bride. Their joy would shine through the photo as bright as the rainbow that God placed in the sky on their wedding day. My cousin has endured a lot of pain and loss in his life. I'll never understand why one family should have to endure so much. So, to see him celebrate a day of true joy and blessing was an honor and privilege and cause to praise God!
Well, I could ramble on forever, but I won't.
If the trip to the "UP" weren't enough, we also had the chance to invade Daddy's room at the Amway in GR. I wish I could have captured the look on my girls' faces as we walked through the lobby of that gorgeous building.
We had a FABULOUS time walking around GR Thursday night and Sunday night. Eating Thai food one night and Tapas the other.
I know, we have way too much FUN. It's sickening.
So, here we are spending our final week in MI. We're eating up our time with all our loved ones. I'll never forget the "summer of '09"
Next week, I'll be signing on from HOME....Brooklyn. Settling in and getting ready to start the school year and our ministry in NY!
I cannot express how thankful I am that we were able to be a part of my cousins wedding celebration this past weekend. Not only did we get to celebrate with him, but it afforded us an opportunity to visit Michigan's beautiful Upper Penninsula, do some sight seeing, visit the casino, and hang out with my family.
I wish I could post a picture of my cousin and his bride. Their joy would shine through the photo as bright as the rainbow that God placed in the sky on their wedding day. My cousin has endured a lot of pain and loss in his life. I'll never understand why one family should have to endure so much. So, to see him celebrate a day of true joy and blessing was an honor and privilege and cause to praise God!
Well, I could ramble on forever, but I won't.
If the trip to the "UP" weren't enough, we also had the chance to invade Daddy's room at the Amway in GR. I wish I could have captured the look on my girls' faces as we walked through the lobby of that gorgeous building.
We had a FABULOUS time walking around GR Thursday night and Sunday night. Eating Thai food one night and Tapas the other.
I know, we have way too much FUN. It's sickening.
So, here we are spending our final week in MI. We're eating up our time with all our loved ones. I'll never forget the "summer of '09"
Next week, I'll be signing on from HOME....Brooklyn. Settling in and getting ready to start the school year and our ministry in NY!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
A year ago....
So, I was reading my devotional this week when it struck me that I vividly remember reading this last summer. I even blogged about it. I wanted to put a link to that post, but can't figure out how? It's July 28 of 2008. SO COOL! God is in control of everything. That is true and comforting.
Last summer all I could do was praise God for His blessings, even though I had no idea what in the world He was doing with our family.
This summer, all I can do is PRAISE GOD FOR HIS BLESSINGS! I seriously can't even begin to list the HUGE blessings he has showered on us. Next weekend we settle into our new apartment in Brooklyn. Much later than we had thought, and IN GOD'S ABSOLUTE PERFECT TIMING!!!!
I've been reading through the psalms because I feel so blessed beyond my ability to even communicate. I love reading along with the praises that were spoken and sung thousands of years ago. Even in confusion, anger, and fear, the psalmists find a place for praise!
We had an amazing june and July. Fun in Georgia, North Carolina, West Viriginia, and Ohio. Spending three days doing Cedar Point and Soak City. Oh my! What a fun family vacation!!!!
This weekend I am so excited to head way up to the tip of the UP to celebrate my cousin's wedding!! My entire family is going. YAY!
Seriously, God' timing is so perfect, I can't even stand it. Why He has chosen to bless my family SO MUCh I will never know. But, I thank Him constantly and give all praise to Him. And, every day I surrender myself to His will and pray that He will shine through me in all that I do and say.
I hesitate sometimes to share how blessed I feel. I know the hardships so many are facing in their lives, and I feel unworthy of such blessings. And, it's so confusing and frustrating for those who do not understand why they are in such a dark place. I don't understand it either, but can only lift them up in prayer. But, I hope that by sharing, I can be encouraging to others. Believe me, I am unworthy and I know it. I hope I never boast or have pride about these blessings, I hope that I can always just give praises to the one who deserves it!
Last summer all I could do was praise God for His blessings, even though I had no idea what in the world He was doing with our family.
This summer, all I can do is PRAISE GOD FOR HIS BLESSINGS! I seriously can't even begin to list the HUGE blessings he has showered on us. Next weekend we settle into our new apartment in Brooklyn. Much later than we had thought, and IN GOD'S ABSOLUTE PERFECT TIMING!!!!
I've been reading through the psalms because I feel so blessed beyond my ability to even communicate. I love reading along with the praises that were spoken and sung thousands of years ago. Even in confusion, anger, and fear, the psalmists find a place for praise!
We had an amazing june and July. Fun in Georgia, North Carolina, West Viriginia, and Ohio. Spending three days doing Cedar Point and Soak City. Oh my! What a fun family vacation!!!!
This weekend I am so excited to head way up to the tip of the UP to celebrate my cousin's wedding!! My entire family is going. YAY!
Seriously, God' timing is so perfect, I can't even stand it. Why He has chosen to bless my family SO MUCh I will never know. But, I thank Him constantly and give all praise to Him. And, every day I surrender myself to His will and pray that He will shine through me in all that I do and say.
I hesitate sometimes to share how blessed I feel. I know the hardships so many are facing in their lives, and I feel unworthy of such blessings. And, it's so confusing and frustrating for those who do not understand why they are in such a dark place. I don't understand it either, but can only lift them up in prayer. But, I hope that by sharing, I can be encouraging to others. Believe me, I am unworthy and I know it. I hope I never boast or have pride about these blessings, I hope that I can always just give praises to the one who deserves it!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
high on chocolate
Seriously. Have you ever been high on chocolate? Wow.
Our friends recommended a place to us called "The Chocolate Room". They explained the banana split and how they sprinkle sugar on top of it and fire it to form a glaze on top. OK, must try this!
So, we went there last night and enjoyed every last drop of this heavenly creation. Contemplated licking the serving bowl clean. When we tasted the hot fudge, we entered a new realm of reality here on earth. Never tasted no chocolate like that before.
After we left, we walked around a bit and I swear, I was a giddy, stumbling, giggling goofball, high on good chocolate. OK, it might have something to do with the company I was in too :)
We were already trying to figure out the next occassion that may be worthy of a trip back to this place to try the brownie fudge sundae. We might HAVE to find a way for this to be in our budget at least on some sort of a regular basis.
Tonight we meet Communitas in Central Park for FUN night. Tomorow we get in the van and drive drive drive down to GA. Looking forward to seeing my beautiful girls and hugging them up!
Our friends recommended a place to us called "The Chocolate Room". They explained the banana split and how they sprinkle sugar on top of it and fire it to form a glaze on top. OK, must try this!
So, we went there last night and enjoyed every last drop of this heavenly creation. Contemplated licking the serving bowl clean. When we tasted the hot fudge, we entered a new realm of reality here on earth. Never tasted no chocolate like that before.
After we left, we walked around a bit and I swear, I was a giddy, stumbling, giggling goofball, high on good chocolate. OK, it might have something to do with the company I was in too :)
We were already trying to figure out the next occassion that may be worthy of a trip back to this place to try the brownie fudge sundae. We might HAVE to find a way for this to be in our budget at least on some sort of a regular basis.
Tonight we meet Communitas in Central Park for FUN night. Tomorow we get in the van and drive drive drive down to GA. Looking forward to seeing my beautiful girls and hugging them up!
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