grandpa

Last night as I was tucking the girl's in for bed, Alli asked if she could talk to me alone for a minute. So, we went in the other room. She snuggled up really close to me and, through a choked up voice, she told me that she is worried about her Grandpa Kelly. She said that she has been thinking about him dying and she is scared and doesn't know what to do about it. She started crying pretty hard once she got it off her chest, and she just clung to me. I comforted her and held her. I wanted to tell her not to worry because that is never going to happen. . . but obviously I could not. So, I told her that some things in life will be hard and sad and maybe even unbearable. I told her that our earthly bodies will die. All of us. And I expained how she can find hope in the fact that we know we will spend eternity together in heaven. If we didn't have that hope, it truly would be unbearable to lose someone we love. SO, I asked her if she wanted to call her Grandpa to say "I love you." I hated to do it, but I pointed out that we really do not know when someone is going to die, and we really should take every opportunity to tell them how much they mean to us. She looked at me kinda funny. I think she was surprised that I was basically telling her it was normal to be scared, instead of telling her NOT to be scared.
So, she called Grandpa. She told him she loved him. And through her tears, she told him she has been thinking about him passing away and she doesn't know if she is strong enough to have to deal with that. Okay, so the tears started just pouring out of my eyes. Grandpa reassured her that he is feeling great and healthy and that he hopes she won't have to deal with that for a long time. He told her he loved her too.
After the phone call, she was ready to go to bed. I gave her a hug and told her that I think she is an amazing, brave, courageous kid. Most people would stuff that fear away and try to ignore it. They wouldn't tell anyone because then they would have to deal with it. And most certainly, many people would avoid that phone call. Becuase she had to allow her self to feel that pain and fear, instead of ignoring it and pretending it's not there. And many people just want to put on a happy face and act as if nothing in this world brings them pain or fear. Alli is learning at an early age that pain and fear are normal parts of being human, and rather than masking those feelings, we need to share them and deal with them. And if she had stuffed those feelings, she would have missed an opportunity to share her deep love with someone she cares about. Her Grandpa. If she continues to live with that kind of integrity, she will not have a lot of regrets about what she didn't do.
My kids teach me so much. It is an honor to raise them!
(and after I tucked her in bed. . . . I called my Dad)