Wait, how old am I?

I'm confused. How old am I again?

Oh yah, amost 40.

I wasn't sure because I haven't been this excited about the END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR since I was about....10. I just thre that age out there, since I don't ever remember being so anxious to see the end!

Today is Liv's last day. Half day. Am about to walk up and get her.

Alli's last full day is today, then two more half days. Right up through the last day of June. Geesh!

Last night was my first executive board meeting for the PTA for Liv's school. I am now VP. I debated whether I wanted that much commitment to the PTA. I wondered if it was silly to commit so much time to meetings and such, which actually takes away from my time with my girls, in order to make things better for my child and her school. Weighing it out, I decided to go for it. Come on, I am a stay at home mom! I imagine that is the group who started PTA to begin with. God bless the working moms who are on the board and who volutneer. AMAZING! ANYWAYS....I made the right choice. My hope our family is intentionally living in a way that impacts our community. By that, I mean, if we picked up and vacated, we should be missed by some people in some way. We should be making an impact! We should "be the change we want to see in the world". Through much prayer and reflection, I feel God has led me to some areas I am passionate about. And, I am trying to invest my time, talent and treasure to do my part in these areas.

Liv's school is one of those areas. I have to get going, I will just say that we went through the school year calendar for the upcoming year, and we scheduled things for each month that we felt would build community, enhance education, build school spirit, offer FUN, and raise funds for filling in the funding gaps for some very NEEDED programs. I can honestly say that every child in the school will have an enriched and better experience because of our care and efforts. That is so cool. Definitely worth sacrificing a bit of my time away from my kids.

And, now, I am off to welcome Olivia to SUMMER BREEEEEAAAAAAAAK!

Counting down...

Just popping on here to say hello. Haven't posted in a while because I haven't had any deep thoughts to share.

But, I will say that we are in countdown mode here in the Kelly Casa. The girls have a few more days of school, then we will be packing up the van and heading to MI for almost the whole summer!!!!! Lots of great summer adventures planned. Hanging at Grandparent's, swimming, cedar point, going up north, going to springhill camp, staying with Daddy in Grand Rapids, camping with the Carlson's, etc. And, it is a needed refresher for the soul.

When praying, I hesitate to go to God and specifically ask for something. He knows what I need and I trust Him. However, throughout the last few years, one prayer request that I have boldly made is that God would please work it out in our family to allow for us to spend a good chunk of time in MI for summer. So far, this is year #2 where that prayer has been answered abundantly and I am so thankful. SO THANKFUL. I do not take it for granted at all.

Last night Timm and 3 of the men he is in true "Communitas" with were able to spend the night in the Hampton's at one of the guys' place. They loaded up their bikes and sleeping bags (as there is no furniture in the house) and will be enjoying some biking today.

Meanwhile, back in the concrete jungle, the girls and I got dressed up and went to an elegant affair hosted by another couple of Communitas friends. They hosted a wine and cheese tasting get together and we had a super great evening. We brought a bottle of pinot grigio, a block of good old white cheddar, and the girls picked some interesting juices to try (apricot and banana). Good food and drink, great company and lovely conversation/laughter. I feel so blessed by the community we are a part of.

So, today Alli and Liv will be filling up some water balloons in preparation for the "end of the year" party we are hosting with some of Alli's middle school friends this afternoon. The plan is: water fights, snacks and pizza (and lots of screaming and yelling and laughing I'm sure).

Then we will clean up any messes out behind our "house" because our downstairs neighbors are hosting a BBQ this evening.

Good times.

One thing I might say....I have handled with remarkable ease the transition from a large home to a very small apartment...I have adapted fairly well to navigating my way around this city on foot, bike, public transit and driving....I have managed to survive long stretches of time without hugging and loving family and life long friends....but there is one thing I do not think I am up for that I have recently been tested with.......la cucuracha. Yes, we have been paid a visit by the lovely urban houseguest, the cockroach. UGH! I can't handle a cockroach infestation. I can't. That is simply pushing me beyond my limits. And, I think Alli will be sleeping up on the ceiling, grasping onto the light fixture, just to get as far away from the ground as she can because she is so disgusted and freaked out. It's weird because I would be fine with it if we were camping, or staying somewhere in an underdeveloped country, or something like that. But, what bothers me is that this is our HOME. And it feels invaded. I don't want to get up in the night to use the bathroom and have to turn the light on and wonder if a nasty critter is going to scamper out of sight behind the garbage pail and go who knows where?!?!

Our landlord has been made aware and will be sending someone to spray. Hopefully soon.

Oblivia

Sometimes we joke around and call Olivia "Oblivia". Don't fret, it's all in fun and she shouldn't be too deeply scarred by it.

But, today I was realizing something. We call her that because she does not appear to be paying attention most of the time. She trips and falls often, walks into traffic (or trees or people or poles), and often asks "What?" in the middle of a conversation we are all having and she didn't catch any of it.

Today it occurred to me that it isn't that she is NOT paying attention.....but rather.....she is paying attention to OTHER things than the majority of those around her. She observes different things. She might walk directly into a pole, but she can tell you how many brick paver blocks we passed by on our block because she was counting them. She might walk into traffic, but she can tell you exactly how many steps it takes to get from one sidewalk to the other as she crosses the street. She might miss an entire conversation happening at the park, but then she might say something like this (and I quote her from yesterday) "Mom. I want to tell you something I observed. I don't want to sound like I'm racist or anything, but it is just an observation. I notice that quite often I see white babies and children with their nannies...and their nannies are not white. They are hispanic or black. Did you ever notice that?" First of all, I love when she says things like "I want to tell you something I observed". Secondly I think it is kinda sad that she has to clarify herself and "not being racist" simply because she did observe people who have different skin colors or ethnicities. But, that is the world we live in, so she was being appropriately sensitive I guess.

She gets excited sometimes over the most random things. The other day, we were discussing something and out of nowhere she blurts out "I learned to write the letters "c" and "d" in script." ONe morning this week, before she went to school, she just jumped up and said "I need a new journal. I need to write something down!" So I reminded her that she has a minimum of 10 journals, each with their own individual purpose, stored under her dresser. She said "No, I need a new one. This one if for writing down things that I observe and things that I notice and what that makes me think of..." So, she went to her stash of journals and dug one out. Next things I know, she's sitting on the couch writing in a journal. But, when I looked in her room, I see the rest of the journals strewn about, along with several torn pages that she ripped out of the journal she was now using. When I asked why she did that, she said it was because that journal was going to be for writing things down about moving from MI to NY, but now it was for this new thing and she couldn't' have pages in there that were written on already. Anyways, after she went to school and I was cleaning up, I saw that journal sitting there and looked at what she wrote. It said "The trees stand tall and alone. And I am like the tree." Then it said "the clouds are white and fluffy. It looks like cloud men are on them, throwing hail stones right at us."

That was the reason she urgently needed a "new journal".

Some of her other journals and notebooks are specifically for inventions, drawings, stories, poems, prayers, fairy tales, memories, and lists.

Olivia is moody, creative, smart, talented, messy, playful, adventurous, and curious.

I am learning to truly appreciate our Livvy for the "artist" that she is. My brain does NOT function in an artistic way. So, it is interesting and confusing for me to grasp how she thinks.

We have fun calling her "oblivia". And this week I told her we could start to call her "Taz" after the tazmanian devil who leaves a path of destruction wherever he goes.....but I wouldn't trade ONE THING about her. She is so awesome. So interesting. So unique.

i do it myself

Have you ever heard a toddler say this? I know my kids did all the time "I do it myself mama". Well, have you ever heard a 39 year old say this? I have, earlier this week!

We have a friend who is going to squeeze into our spare room and stay with us for a while. So, I said I was going to move the treadmill into our room so that our friend has a tiny bit of space for her clothes and stuff.

Well, most of you should know by now that my brain is lacking in the spatial perception arena. So, I assumed I was simply going to take the folded up monster and whip it out of one room and into the other with a mere scooting aside of a table and chair in the living room that may have presented an obstacle. (I'm used to doing that - do it every time we have a group of friend's over).

Long story short...sweating, swearing, gouging out walls and floors, disassembling pieces (and hoping they'd fit back together) and STILL I couldn't do it myself. I had to wait for Timm to get home.

Ugh.

I don't like feeling dependent.

Well, somehow it actually made me feel a little bit better to realize that he had to disassemble even more parts for it to fit. I was afraid to do that and demolish the whole beloved thing.

As he was putting it back together I told him how annoyed I was that I just couldn't do it myself. He said I shouldn't try to do things myself all the time, that God planned for us to need help. I argued that PLENTY of people are unmarried and can take care of themselves just fine and I did take care of myself just fine before marrying him!!!! But, he calmly pointed out that he wasn't talking about a spouse. He just said, we're not supposed to do life alone. God created us to lean on each other and to help each other out.

OK.

I guess.

He's right.

But, it's still hard for me to feel dependent.

So, the next day I had a REALLY good day. I have enjoyed my new little digital flip camera. It's convenient and small, takes a quality movie, and loads simply onto the computer. BUT....ever since we got a new computer, I haven't been able to figure out how to get the flipping flips to save onto a disc or something to back them up so if my computer dies, I don't lose all of my video. You have to convert the files, and do all this other stuff that is like a foreign language to me!

Aha! I figured it out that day! And, guess what? I figured it out "all by myself"!

We now have almost every single flip video safely copied to a dvd-r that can be played on the dvd player and even has a cool menu where you can choose which video to select!

Maybe I shouldn't feel THAT good when I do something on my own, but I can't help it.

May stuff

I would say that there is nothing exciting to share, but that really isn't true. Our life here is pretty exciting!

Liv's birthday (birthweek) was a blast.

On her b-day she took treats into school. Then, after playing for three hours at the park, we went out to "Mango" for dinner. A great choice. Really good Thai food.

The next day was Friday and we had a "Friday fun night" BBQ. Probably about 20 people crammed in our little place. Had a cake with ice cream and sang to her. She had a friend spend the night, Very fun.

Saturday we went to a few stoop sales and I found sone new heelies for Liv, then it was her tea party. I posted pics on Facebook, I'll include a couple on here. It really turned out great. One of my top 3 favorite for sure (and we have done A LOT of different parties through the years).

Also on Saturday, she received gifts in the mail and had a great time opening things from family. She got a letter from the dance studio as well inviting her to be in the Jr. Dance Company. She literally squealed and spun all around and would have done cartwheels if we had a little more space!

Saturday night we hung out with a friend of Liv's and her family at their place. What a pleasant evening.

Anyways, it was just a FABULOUS celebration for days!

Sunday was fun. After church and leadership meeting, a few of us met up for basketball. Ah, I hadn't played in over a year! I missed it.

So, I just felt like doing a little synopsis of the week.

I love that little Liv so much, she makes my heart BLOW UP. Thanks to everyone who made her feel extra special!

Spring has sprung

Nothing profound to share. Just so happy that Spring is here in full force. Looking at the forecast and seeing 60's - 70's as the high temps....makes me giddy.

This weekend is unusual. No big plans. Pretty wide open. Ahh.

I have 5 girls snoozing in the other room after a sleepover. Glad they are still asleep. Not sure how late the party went on. This mama went to sleep before them.

Would like to say that our week off before Easter was quite refreshing. Went to a hotel with an indoor waterpark in Connecticut for a couple of days. Hit a few shopping malls, including one with a chick-fila in the food court! Good times.

Then, we had our Easter sonrise service in Central park, which has become one of my most treasured annual traditions. I love Easter. Hope rooted in the resurrection....ahhh.

After the park we enjoyed brunch at the Kallen casa. So grand. Later, we had a dinner here with about 14 people. Lots of love felt that day.

The day after Easter our company arrived, and we had a perfectly gorgeous week. Grandpa, Kelly and Aunt Janet enjoyed some of the Brooklyn and Manhattan experiences, watched as the trees budded and burst with green, and even got to be there for the opening night of the girls' big dance recital!

I plan to enjoy a few local rummage sales today, perhaps a bike ride in the park, who knows? Happy to have a free day to enjoy.

What about Saturday?

As I sat in silence this Saturday morning, hanging out with God, quieting my soul...it occurred to me that we have "good Friday" and "Easter Sunday" but we don't really think about the Saturday in between. Or, at least I have not.

But, I awoke today to a cool, gloomy, rainy day. And, I was reminded of my experience last night. We had a gathering with our church and I had the opportunity to engage with multiple senses on the death of Jesus. I wept. A lot.

So, as I sat this morning, I wondered what it must have felt like when Jesus died and he had not yet risen! Imagine the unbearable grief of that "Saturday" in between!

In my journal, I wrote:

Solitude. Silence. Rain falling. Settle my soul, Father. This weekend is so profound. Good Friday is so sad. SO disturbing. So convicting. Dark. Reality of the darkness of humanity. Death. Betrayal. Torture. Sacrifice. Blood. Pain. Separation. Fear. Complete and total...LOVE. Forgiveness. Submission. Mercy. Compassion. Grace. Love.

Today....it rains. It's dark. The loss feels unbearable. The grief too much. Imagine not knowing what tomorrow holds! No hope. Just loss.

Instead, I know the SON will rise. The sun will rise. The hopelessness, dissipated and scattered. The darkness completely filled with light. The resurrection. The hope. The promise. The purpose. The fulfillment. The power. The glory. The victory. The love. The light. The path. The way. The truth. Mercy - undeserved forgiveness. Grace - undeserved love. Abundant. Complete. Whole. Absolute. Total. Love.

Tomorrow we celebrate. It is done. It is finished. Forgiveness complete. Hallelujah!