If anything else is more important than love, shut up

Listening to my favorite teacher.  Greg Boyd, pastor or Woodland Hills Church and author of so many great books.  His message from 4/15/12 was "Our One Foundation"
I love the sermon all the way through because I tend to agree with him on a  theological level. He was talking about how he could describe their church, since it doesn't seem to fit exactly into any one mold.  I can relate to that.
But, towards the end, while he was doing a Q & A, I actually stopped the podcast at one point to write a few things down.  Because i just agreed with it so wholeheartedly and feel it is SO important.
He said something like this:  If you are compelled to tell someone they are wrong because YOU are right, the MOST important thing you can do is to share this humbly and in love and openness.
He then went on to quote 1 Corinthians 16:14 "Let everything you do be done in love. " And he said "The minute being RIGHT is more important to you than being loving, do the kingdom of God a favor and shut up!"
I had a great conversation the other night with a friend.  We talked a lot about who God is and whether He can be trusted and what that means.  We also talked about how some people view God as distant, absent, disappointed, or a figment of people's fantasy.
Here's what I don't understand though.  Why do people get so mad at each other about it?  Why would I, as a believer in God, get mad at an atheist for not agreeing with me?  Why would an atheist, who thinks God is a made up fantasy, get mad at me for believing otherwise?  Or, why would either of us wish the other harm?  Are we THAT attached to being RIGHT?  Has "being right" become a religion or an idol to some people?  Of course, when you believe something deeply, you feel it is right.  But, why does that turn into a need to have others agree you are right?!
Now, I can't speak for the atheist.  But, I can assume that an atheist gets fed up with self righteous people always speaking down to them in a condescending, judgemental way. Always feeling a need to prove they are right and the atheist is clearly wrong and therefore going to suffer for it. That would get irritating.
But, as a Christian, speaking down, being condescending and judgemental, or needing to prove I am right makes no sense!
When did Jesus demonstrate that as an example to me?  When did He command or suggest for me to do that?  I believe He did ask some things of me.  And, as a follower, I try to align my life the best way I can in any given moment to surrender to Him.  I try to humble myself, get my identity from Him, my purpose and value from Him, and my assignments from him.  He clearly commanded us to Love God with all our hearts, mind, strength, and soul.  He commanded us to love others as we love ourselves.  He commanded us to go and make disciples.  Did he say, go and make converts to your way of thinking and make sure they agree with every detail of your theology.  NO.  Love God. Love Others. Make disciples.
Am I doing these things?  I don't know.  I'm trying.  I can't do any of it without God's power working in and through me.  I'm worthless trying to do it out of my own strength.
But, of this I am sure!  If I am not getting it right on the Love God part, I'm going to have a really hard time loving others.  And, if I am not getting the love others part, I hope I am not trying to make disciples.