Breathe in forgiveness

 "Forgiveness is the air we breathe in the Kingdom" - Donna Winship. 

Considering what unforgiveness I breathe in regularly. I like to see myself as very forgiving, and I do find my way there most of the time pretty quickly.  

But...

Do I forgive the world for being the way it is? Do I forgive others for being who they are? Do I forgive myself for being the way I am?

Yes.  But...

When I recall (or even imagine) what a particular person says and I ruminate on it, I'm breathing in the toxic poison of unforgiveness.  That air fills me and starts to snuff out love and peace.  My focus narrows and all I see is offense.  My creativity is diminished and I spend my beautiful gift of imagination coming up with potential responses or actions that will "get" them.  When I breathe in forgiveness, my spirit opens up to peace and love, and my imagination and creativity expand to consider how I might shine light into darkness, peace into conflict, love into fear. 

It's OK to FEEL whatever feelings arise when I learn of evil, injustice, greed, catastrophic events, suffering, oppression.  But the tension comes when I try to let go of the unforgiveness and simply allow some acceptance.  If I forgive, am I complicit? Don't I need to remain enraged in order to be a part of the solution? 

It's a paradox.

Engage in the suffering of the world, allow myself to open to compassion and empathy, allow FEELINGS of sadness, anger, and fear.  And....forgive the world for being what it is.  Don't let sadness turn to despair, anger to rage, fear to hopelessness.  In breathing in forgiveness, I'm opening up spiritual wisdom, Kingdom wisdom, and the promises of comfort, hope, guidance and love as I continue to wrestle with the real feelings.  

I would prefer to ignore the evil, or to dodge the feelings that come when I pay attention to the pain in the world.  So, when I embrace a concept like "forgiving", my preference would be to forgive on the front end and let all of the yucky things bounce off of me and avoid letting them in.

But I've learned that compassion and love come from living in the paradox of pain and forgiveness, disappointment and acceptance, fear and love.  And that requires more from me than avoidance.  Avoidance allows me to control what can affect me.  Opening my heart let's a lot of stuff in that makes me feel completely out of control,  

I'm choosing to breathe in forgiveness....