I think, therefore I am...

Ha, remember philosophy class Kel? I swear our professor wanted to jump out the window when he saw me coming!

It must have been a decent class, in the fact that I remember a lot of it, and I can't say that about many classes. I even remember that this was a quote from Renee Descartes (sp?).

Anyways, I was thinking about this today.

I think....therefore...I am.

Am what?

A bunch of random molecules bumping together to form random scientific reactions?

Am what?

An animal that has basic instincts and needs for survival?

Am what?

Alive?

I would add to this. I would say, I think...therefore...I am more than just physical. I am spiritual. I have the ability to think and reason and use logic. I have the desire to find purpose and truth. I have a desire to see good, a desire for justice, a desire for love and for feeling accepted.

If you would like to argue that we are simply physical material, with no creator, no purpose, and no soul...why would you even care about arguing? What would put the desire in you to even seek truth, or pursue understanding or use reason. And, how could you use reason or logic if you are simply physical material?

This is why I would also say, I think....therefore...I have faith. Some people may hold the opinion that having faith is the absence of thinking things through. Wrong. It is the opposite. It is because of my thinking and pondering and seeking and wrestling and doubting and fearing and wondering and pressing into tough questions and contemplating deep truths that I have come to faith. All of this thinking leads me to a faith in the God of the bible. But, it is not a "blind faith" that I just accept "because". No, I have explored many answers and have found this one makes the most sense to me. If others ask the same questions and come to a different answer that they feel fits, they place their faith in that. Either way it is faith. It is not proven. It is faith. I think it is an especially difficult leap of faith to put your faith in the belief that there is not a creator. Wow, that leaves a lot of unanswered questions to me. Like I mentioned, that doesn't explain to me why we have a desire for truth, justice, logic, reason, love, etc. Are there mysteries within my faith? Heck yeah! That can be frustrating, but I question anyone who has come to a faith that contains no mystery.. no questions...no issues that can't be easily explained. Are there parts of the "christian story" that are far fetched? Hard to believe? Confusing? You bet! But, did I really think I was going to seek the meaning and purpose of life and find something that holds no mystery? Something that is a no-brainer? Something simple? Something I could have come up with myself? Really? I hope that the God I am seeking has something better going on than that which I could have come up with on my own, or that I could easily understand. I hope my God is way bigger than my brain and my reasoning.

I think, therefore, I am....putting my faith in Christianity.

My Baby

My baby girl is growing up.

She traveled to the other side of the world, with a servant's heart, taking it all in stride. She told me that she heard others complaining about some of the things while she was away, and she looked at me with her brow furrowed and her shoulder slightly shrugged and said "You're in India. If you want things to be like they are in the U.S....stay in the U.S. "

Timm reported that he received compliments on Alli's maturity level and her heart.

That makes me proud.

I can't write a lot about their trip. I wasn't there. I didn't experience it. I am just feeling blessed beyond measure that OTHERS supported our family in order to send them on this trip. It overwhelms me.

If you haven't already seen it, click here to see a video Craig put together that has some highlights from their week. Also, you can click here to see the website for Impact India 360.

Today, the fact that we are in FULL swing of adolescence really hit me. Alli woke up today and did NOT want to go to school. She ended up getting a bit teary as she hugged me this morning, stating "I don't want to go. I just want to be home with you, Mom. I don't see you enough. I miss you when I'm gone all day long....etc". I realize she loves me, and she is suffering from jet lag! But, it is funny that this is the same girl who, two weeks ago, politely asked me to refrain from chaperoning the school dance because "you are always at everything Mom. I'd like to do this one thing without you if that's OK?"

First of all, it's a good thing she knows how to communicate lovingly to me. Otherwise, my feelings could be hurt. Second, it's a good thing I'm not an overly sensitive person, or my feelings could be hurt. Truth is, I know she will want to be with me less and that is normal. But, I am LOVING the fact that she is all snuggly and lovey this week after being away from me for 10 days. I'm loving every second of it. Last night, instead of doing what I could have done (clean, do dishes, etc) I asked if she wanted to snuggle up in my bed and watch something (because that is what she likes to do). Ahhh, she just wanted to snuggle...with ME.

Here we go...adolescence. We have one girl in the thick of it and one girl entering. (By the way, our second one is making a bit more of a splash with her entry, whereas Alli seemed to wade in fairly smoothly - so we shall see!). I remember a few years ago, Timm realizing with horror that there would be a strong likelihood he would end up living in a tiny shoebox with two daughters going through adolescence, while at the same time, a wife entering menopausal years. His nightmare is coming true.....

Happy Valentine's Day n stuff

Happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t think there is anything wrong with Valentine’s Day. Any time people are encouraged to show their love for others, I am firmly supportive! However, something about the “holiday” is annoying to me. I personally don’t feel I need a particular day of the year to prompt me to show love to my husband or kids. Sure, it was nice to remember my kids and get them a chocolate bar. And they did feel special this morning when they realized I had thought of them. Timm even got me a card, which was very sweet. But, the whole Valentine’s Day thing still bugs me a little bit. It just seems like another consumer driven celebration. If you REALLY love the people in your life, you should BUY them something! Whatever. I don’t know why I am so cynical about it. Silly really. Just one of those things I guess.

Pretty exciting week around the Kelly casa. Timm and Alli are making final preparations to depart for India. They will travel from New York to Amsterdam to Mumbai (then within India to final destination). Many many hours of travel. My prayer is that neither of them gets run down and sick. I also pray that they are protected, that they find a way to demonstrate the spirit of God’s grace to others, and to receive it as well. Alli is excited, nervous and curious about the trip. She already knows she will have a hard time leaving the orphans in India. She warned me that if there was a way, she would bring as many children home as we could fit in our apartment! And she hasn’t even met them yet. Oh boy. I am so thrilled that she gets to have this experience with her Daddy and her pastors and a group of Jesus followers who believe in and exhibit the sacrificial love Jesus calls us to live out. If you haven't checked it out, here is the website with more info about what Alli and Timm are a part of www.impactindia360.org.

Olivia and I will be on our own little adventure. We are going to take a road trip to Michigan while Liv has the week off from school. Yay! We get to see everyone again and take a break from the day to day routine. We are also happy to be giving a ride to a friend of ours who recently moved from MI to NYC. She is 11 years old and she is going to drive with us and spend the week visiting her family and friends in MI as well.

What else is happening? Last weekend we had a Mardi Gras dance at Liv’s school. That was a lot of fun. Alli came and brought two of her middle school friends.

I have been particularly busy lately with PTA work at Liv’s school and PTSO work at Alli’s school. All great stuff. I’m excited to be able to impact the lives of kids in the schools. But, it is funny how busy I can be when I don’t “work”. Between fundraising, executive board meetings, grant writing, committee meetings, event planning, PTA meetings, shopping for event materials, PTSO meetings, setting up, running, and cleaning up events, School Leadership Team meetings, endlessly emailing contacts to follow up on all of the plans dreamt up at meetings, etc. etc etc. I know for a fact that I work way more hours than I did at previous jobs. I am NOT complaining. I don’t have any idea how women do it who DO go to work and have demanding work schedules. Many of them STILL find the time and energy to volunteer. CRAZY!

Our church family continues to ebb and flow. We seem to welcome new faces and say goodbye to others continually. It’s hard to say goodbye to so many people. But, we just try to be thankful for the time God allowed us to be in each others’ lives. NYC is a transient city. Sometimes we struggle wondering why our community seems to stay so small, but then we cherish the ability to go deep in relationships and discipleship because we truly are able to focus on each other.

We are doing a really cool series right now in our church. It is formatted from “The Story Formed Way”. We are taking 10 weeks to break down the overarching narrative of the entire bible and breaking it into 10 smaller stories. The idea is that the bible really does give us ONE BIG story. Many people may not realize that the bible, from Genesis to Revelation, tells the story that answers our deepest questions. “Why do I exist?” “What happens after I die?” “Does my life really matter, does it have meaning? To who?” I just LOVE this process. Each week we listen to a portion or “act” of the story told to us on Sunday during our gathering. Then we have time for Q&A and just to chew on the story. Then, we are following up with even more questions in our weekly community groups. I have been loving the dialogue and questions. It has even captured the attention of Alli, Liv and Natalie who are 9, 11, and 12. They are a dynamic part of the conversation during our group. Love it. You can always take a look at what we are up to on our website www.communitasnyc.org.

I’m excited to be one of the story tellers on a Sunday coming up in the series. I don’t really like being up in front of people, but I was asked if I wanted to do it, and I couldn't’t resist. I just LOVE to talk and tell stories, so why not?!

What else? **We are hosting a "music night at the PIT" using the space where we meet on Sundays and having a few people perform, raising money for Liv's school!! YAY! **Alli had her first volleyball game! **We planned a two day get-away to Newport Rhode Island (thanks for the Marriot reward points given to us as a gift from a friend who stayed here while we were out of town!), **Timm has some interesting prospects in regards to his employment (more details will follow depending on outcome), **Liv starts an after school drama club today, **Alli hosted a dance party at our place since she was bummed to be missing her school dance while away **I just had a turkey rueben with frnech fries and cannot remember when food made me so happy. Truly delicious. **Timm ran 10 miles (which was his new year’s resolution and he did it before January ended!), and I am more in love with my husband than I ever thought possible. I thank God daily for our marriage, our health, our family, our friends, and the life God has called us to live (in His plan, not our own).

theological tolerance?

First of all, I am thrilled to have added Tim Keller's podcast to my collection this week. What an anointed teacher. Add that to the Mayes squared and Greg Boyd, and I get a weekly dose of truth and light that fills me up!

I found one sermon so gripping this week that I actually listened to it twice, and parts of it a third time. Being that Tim Keller teaches from a perspective of living in NYC, I feel he is very much in tune with the issues I personally face daily.

Tolerance. What a buzz word, right? In this particular sermon (some of which I will quote directly) Keller makes some relevant and powerful points regarding "tolerance".

What is tolerance? Does Christianity preach intolerance?

I would argue...Absolutely NOT. You have to make a distinction. If you look at the word "civil" it actually means "to be polite". So, can we be "civil" and have a "civilization"? Yes. You can show respect for people who's beliefs differ from yours. Every teaching of Jesus shows us to love and be kind to those who are different. Even enemies. Love and show civility, tolerance for people of other faiths.

What Jesus models and teaches is social tolerance. Relational tolerance. Legal tolerance, so that people are FREE to propagate and practice their religion. Listen to people. Show them love. Treat them courteously.

BUT....Jesus says that theological tolerance of all faiths is absolutely impossible. And, it's completely different. You completely muddy the water when you say that being theologically intolerant is to be socially, relationally, legally intolerant. It's not the same thing. Not at all.

Jesus does not leave theological tolerance as an option. Yet, he is the perfect example of love. So, is it possible to be theologically intolerant, yet be completely loving and civil and kind? Yes! Hello Jesus! This is exactly the example he sets. And, even people who do not follow Jesus have a difficult time finding a lot of bad stuff to say about him as a loving person. As a matter of fact, most people see him as a good moral teacher, whether or not they believe he is the son of God. Of course, that's another issue because he doesn't really leave "good moral teacher" as an option for his identity. He was either "son of God" or "megalomaniac". Because, he clearly and consistently claimed to BE God.

Keller goes on to point out....there is nothing inconsistent about debating or arguing that your faith or beliefs are right. But, what is inconsistent and makes no sense at all is to say that everyone's faith and belief is probably right and all faiths and beliefs lead to the same place. Impossible. The very idea that you believe that is to be intolerant of those who believe that their faith is the only truth. To believe all faiths lead to the same place is to be intellectually intolerant.

When you say to someone "you musn't try to convert people to your religion as if your religion is superior"....what you are really saying is..."I want you to abandon your inferior view of religious truth and take my superior view."

As soon as someone says - "all faiths lead to the same place" and someone from the Muslim faith says "No, I believe there's only one way, that that's my religion: and you say "you're wrong" What you are immediately saying is "Your road doesn't go to the same place." You are saying "My view of religion is superior to your view."

SO, to say that "All religions are relative" is a religion!!! And is it vying for superiority!

To have a Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc...sit around and say "no, my way is the right way...." if they do it with civility...you can have a society. A civilization. And that is very consistent and rational. But to insist that no religious view of truth is superior, and by doing that, insist that your view is superior, is completely inconsistent. And, it is dangerous because you won't see it. At least every other religious proponent admits what they are doing.

Here's the thing. I hope and pray that I can be a tolerant person. A person who is civil. A person who is loving and kind and polite and respectful. A person who displays social, relational, and legal tolerance. And, I hope that the community of believers that I am a part of can embrace the same hope and prayer. But, I do not feel that I need to desire to have theological tolerance in the same way. I have the utmost respect for others who demonstrate this kind of balance. No matter what their faith. I especially appreciate it in the people who have a different faith than me. I find our conversations to be uplifting and encouraging, even if we completely disagree on our religious beliefs. It is refreshing beyond anything else when we can disagree theologically, but agree to love each other.

So, can a Christian be tolerant? I sure hope so. Can others be tolerant of Christians? I sure hope so. But, I also understand that many people have experienced Christians who are intolerant, not only theologically, but relationally as well. And, that's something that makes me so sad.