Are you still so dull?

"Are you still so dull"?
Apparently I am!
Timm likes this quote from Jesus.  Partly because it is a fun jab, and partly because it is so convicting and true.
What has God taught you over and over and over, yet you still slide back into your own foolishness?
For me, I was scanning this blog for a particular post and I realized that I have not taken the time to sit and read through my past entries.  It's funny, but not in a "ha ha" way.  More like, it's funny how dull I am.
I looked back as far as 2009 and the same struggle I am wrestling with today was the topic of my posts back then.  And every year.
It's humbling.
It's a reminder that I will have this thorn in my side.  I will have this cross to bear.
I have the hope and freedom and power of Jesus, but I have not been entirely delivered from my struggle.  And that's OK!  Because it keeps me on my knees in prayer.  Because I know I do not have the capacity to serve Jesus on my own, I have to turn to Him for His power.
It presents itself in multiple titles throughout the years. But, at the core, it is the same struggle.  Am I enough?  Is Jesus enough?  Can Jesus alone be trusted?  Am I doing enough?  What more should I be doing?  Is it OK to do less?  And on and on and on I go.
What a gracious savior I have.  I'm so dull, yet it doesn't matter.  Nothing I DO or DON'T DO can change His perfect love for me.
Humbling.