Judge your own self!

For the past 6 or 7 years, I have been meditating daily on the same devotional.  I can't seem to get enough of it.
Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest."  I'm sure it has molded my faith in more ways than I can imagine.
He challenges me!  Yet, I find it so encouraging and powerful.
Recently, I read this:
"every Christian can have his body under absolute control for God.  God has given us rule over all "the temple of the holy spirit" including our thoughts and desires...but most of us are much more severe in our judgement of others than...ourselves. WE MAKE EXCUSES FOR THINGS IN OURSELVES, WHILE WE CONDEMN THINGS IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS SIMPLY BECAUSE WE ARE NOT NATURALLY INCLINED TO DO THEM!"
Oh!  I love this.  Even in contemplating it, though, it is easy for me to be tempted to JUDGE!  To judge those who are "judgy" people!  Ridiculous!  We all do it.  I do it.  I have little tolerance for people who lie, are unfaithful, or not trustworthy, who give in to lustful thoughts or behaviors, who are malicious or gossipy, and even insecure.  I just want them to change.  To stop being that way!  As if it should just be easy for them to stop.
I remember years ago, having one of those moments of revelation.  I was talking to a good friend about her struggle with worry to the point of insomnia and also with critical, angry thoughts towards her husband.  And I said something like "You need to just stop doing that.  Really.  Just stop."  And I will never forget her looking me in the eye and saying "It's not that easy!  Don't you think I would if I could.  I hate it about myself."  She went on to directly challenge me by saying "That would be like me saying to you - Just stop being short tempered with your girls."  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  Because she knew that was what I went to God with every single day asking for forgiveness and deliverance!  I just had such a hard time when they were little and my temper would rage out of control!  It was ridiculous to think that she would just flippantly tell me to "stop doing that" and it would be that easy for me!  I wanted nothing more than to stop, but I seemed to be trapped in it.
How easy for me to tell her to just stop her undesirable, sinful thoughts and behaviors.  Yet I was pleading with God daily to deliver me from mine!
The key is NOT TO JUDGE!
Stop judging others.
If I want to judge - I can look at myself only.  I have plenty to work with right there.
How easy it is for us to make excuses for ourselves while condemning others simply because we are not naturally inclined to have the same struggles they do.

Are you still so dull?

"Are you still so dull"?
Apparently I am!
Timm likes this quote from Jesus.  Partly because it is a fun jab, and partly because it is so convicting and true.
What has God taught you over and over and over, yet you still slide back into your own foolishness?
For me, I was scanning this blog for a particular post and I realized that I have not taken the time to sit and read through my past entries.  It's funny, but not in a "ha ha" way.  More like, it's funny how dull I am.
I looked back as far as 2009 and the same struggle I am wrestling with today was the topic of my posts back then.  And every year.
It's humbling.
It's a reminder that I will have this thorn in my side.  I will have this cross to bear.
I have the hope and freedom and power of Jesus, but I have not been entirely delivered from my struggle.  And that's OK!  Because it keeps me on my knees in prayer.  Because I know I do not have the capacity to serve Jesus on my own, I have to turn to Him for His power.
It presents itself in multiple titles throughout the years. But, at the core, it is the same struggle.  Am I enough?  Is Jesus enough?  Can Jesus alone be trusted?  Am I doing enough?  What more should I be doing?  Is it OK to do less?  And on and on and on I go.
What a gracious savior I have.  I'm so dull, yet it doesn't matter.  Nothing I DO or DON'T DO can change His perfect love for me.
Humbling.