do-er

Most women will say that there is something pretty awesome about being this age. 40ish. Because, by now, you should have a pretty good idea of who you are, what your strengths and limitations are, what you are good at, what you are not good at, etc. And, you care much less about trying to be just like the other women and rather embrace yourself for who you are. You know you don't look 20, and you don't try to. At least this is my experience with girlfriends in their 40's.

But, it is still funny how reality has a way of whacking me in the face sometimes.

I've said it before, and I will say it again...I am a "do-er". I learned this years ago at a Hearts at Home conference. There are generally some women who are "do-ers" and some who are "be-ers". And, it is easy to judge or envy a person who possesses the opposite bend. I have so many examples of this happening.

Now I just laugh when I notice the difference. And I try to appreciate the way I am wired.

See, after having my normal routine in an upheaval for a few weeks (16 of the last 18 days we have either had a guest here or been traveling), I am feeling behind on my "do-ing".

So today I caught up on many things. Non stop do-ing. It gets dark early, and I started losing steam, but felt anxious becuase I had a LONG list of to-do's still haunting me. I was having trouble enjoying our dinner conversation because I was feeling anxious about needing to type up meeting minutes for one meeting, figure out how to edit and attach an excel document for another fundraising event, coordinate volunteers for another event, etc. Seriously. I never did this much when I "worked". But, it was Friday night, and I wanted to also find some time to chill with my girls.

We did go out for a little bit looking for a geo-cache, but we weren't successful, and I honestly couldn't relax. So, when we got home, we finished up folding laundry, putting bedding on, picking up, etc. I asked Alli if she could run a borrowed item back to the neighbor. When she came back, she was smiling and said "They are so predictable over there. WHen I went to the door, she answered with her glass of wine, the music was playing, candles were lit...."

Hmmmmm, my INSTANT thought was "son of a b!$#%, why can't I relax like that on a Friday night? WHy do I have to be so uptight and worry about the sheets being clean and 50 million volunteer obligations?" But, I know the answer. It's just the way I am.

My neighbor is a stay at home mom also. And, she is so good at "Be-ing". I'm a little bit envious, I'll admit. But, I don't dwell on it. I think it's humorous. We are all different. A good friend who is also really good at be-ing has told me that she is often envious of my energy and involvement and "do-ing".

Nah, I won't waste time being envious or wishing I was different. But, I WILL strive to maintain a bit of balance. We like to have FUN in our home. We value down time. And I have made many changes throughout the years to make sure our schedules align with our values.

And, now, after scratching about 6 items off the list, I am resting and reading blogs and writing just for fun. I would hang with the girls, but they are watching tv, and I don't enjoy that.

And, I didn't choose a glass of wine, but I had a delicious treat.

See, I know how to relax and just "be...."