Yesterday I was listening to a friend's album, amazed at his talent by the way! One of his songs is entitled "King of Awkward Moments". At the same time, I found myself reflecting on a chance encounter from the day before that had left me in serious contemplation. And, I put the two together....God really is the King of awkward moments. He is IN all of our moments, if we will just have the eyes to see him. I'll share my awkward moment in the best way I can put it into words.
We were enjoying our "Grand Finale" of summer fun as a family. We went to Luna Park at Coney Island. I was having a great time watching the JOY on my kids' faces as they experienced the thrill of all the rides. At the same time, I was feeling an "awkward" sense of guilt. Here we were, unloading the $$ for two wristbands so our girls could experience 4 hours of having their bodies whipped around in various ways against the physics of nature. Then we were reaching back into our pockets to fork out the $$ for ridiculously over priced snacks. We wrapped up the evening with a fairly affordable dinner at subway ($5 footlongs rule). But, we added a whopping dessert bill at coldstone creamery. So, I sometimes stop and think about how much time and $$ we spend pursuing leisure....fun...enjoyment. I can't help it. I'm one of those people who can't help bu think about "the starving kids in Africa" every time we indulge in something. But, that isn't even the point of my story.
I was sitting on a bench, the girls were on a ride, and Timm was catching some shade nearby. I was enjoying watching the people. And, it was obvious that people watching at this amusement park was a different experience from Cedar Point where we go each summer. This crowd was very diverse. So interesting to see all of the different cultural and ethic clothing, behavior, language, etc. I heard the woman next to me say something. I wasn't sure what she said, so I turned to her and nodded and smiled. She said something else, clearly speaking to me, but again, due to her thick accent, I wasn't sure what she said, so I smiled in response. So then she politely asks "do you speak no English?" I responded, "Oh! No, I'm sorry. I do speak English." And we began a conversation.
Although this beautiful young woman shared her name with me, and I even repeated it, I cannot even pretend to have any idea how to pronounce or spell it. She had dark skin, long black hair, and traditional ornate "Indian" clothing with her whole body covered in layers of gorgeous fabric. During our 20-30 minute conversation, as she fed her infant son, I was convicted, inspired, and moved. Yet, in a sense, it was an "awkward moment". In that short time, she shared with me that it was a day of celebration for her and her family who are Muslim. They were celebrating the end of their fasting month of Ramadan. She told me in her broken English, with a big smile, about their practice of fasting for 30 days from 4am - 8pm. I asked some questions about it and she was happy to share. She told me that they try to focus on "no bad things, no lying, only good things" during the fast. We talked about motherhood and how it changes us as women. She told me she just moved from Pakistan a few years before. She told me about her marriage and how "In her religion" and "In her country" the parents choose a spouse for their children. She said that parents have more wisdom and life experience in order to help direct their kids into a good relationship. We talked about our neighborhood and families. She asked me at one point whether I had married my husband before we had our kids? She was not at all asking in a judgemental way, but out of honest curiosity. She said that most of the people she meets do not "do it in that order" here. She said she was glad for our kids that we "did it that way". I told her that our family is of the Christian faith and we hold strong Christian values to guide our choices. I told her that I hope to be able to teach my girls to hold these values, even though they are pulled by the world to turn away. She just waved her hand and shook her head and said "No. No. You are their mother. They will follow you in your ways. They will. They will do whatever YOU do." She said it so matter-of-fact. Like I should have no concern whatsoever that my girls would turn away from the faith, values, or standards that our family holds.
Anyways, like I said, we chatted for 20-30 minutes. And, here is the awkward part. There are many who would say that I should encounter this person with sadness. Sadness that she doesn't know Jesus and truth. Sadness that she won't "get into heaven". Sadness that her religion is wrong and mine is right.
But, that is not what I felt. I was so encouraged by this sweet young woman. By her strong family values, her love for her home country, her religion, and life itself. She convicted me. She was the one who reached out to talk to me. I did not pursue her. She tried three times to start a conversation. I only heard the broken English and saw the obvious differences and assumed she wasn't talking to me! She was so enthusiastic about her faith. She wasn't ashamed. And, being that it is approaching the 10 year anniversary of the terrorist attacks of 9/11, any Muslim in NYC could easily feel a bit ashamed to be identified as Muslim, right? She convicted me that sometimes I am "ashamed" of my faith because of the few people who wrongly represent my faith. Those who are unloving, judgemental, hypocritical, and self righteous. I hate the thought of being thrown into a category with "them". But, why? That is NOT what MY faith represents. And, that is not how i feel. So, why would I be ashamed?
And I was convicted by her open and excited sharing about the traditions of their faith, including fasting. What a truly disciplined and beautiful practice. During the past month, as I have indulged in summer fun, eating out, having bar-b-ques, eating ice cream, drinking beer, pursuing amusement and fun....many people in her faith have been observing this fast every single day. Not just one day. Not two. But...30. And to see her face light up as she talked about it was so inspiring.
She inspired and encouraged me about my girls needing my example. She inspired and encouraged me to be strong and bold in my faith, yet loving and accepting of others. She never made me feel that my faith was wrong. She listened and smiled and accepted me. All I was able to see was our common ground, and the good in her, and the good she brought out in me. How could someone say that I should feel the need to "convert" her? In my opinion, all good things come from God. And, in my opinion, God used her to encourage, inspire and convict me.
That can get "awkward". Everyone has an opinion about what we should be doing as followers of Jesus to spread his Good News. Is it enough to simply enjoy a conversation and find common ground? Or am I supposed to try to change this person to "my" way? I don't really want you opinions on this, just a rhetorical question.
Wish we could ALL do a better job of finding common ground with others, loving them, and humbly accepting them for who they are.
