spiritual food

I like food. A lot.

I have had occasion where I have practiced the discipline of fasting from food. It has been at times when I felt God prompting me to humble myself and remember that there is more to this world than just the physical. There is a spiritual realm and sometimes my physical self is so loud and demanding and "in the way" that I don't seem to hear my spiritual self. So, I have found that fasting from food gives me an opportunity to tell my loud, demanding physical self to SHUT UP and take NO for an answer for a while while I focus on my spiritual self.

This morning in my devotional, I was challenged to think about prayer as my spiritual food. Prayer isn't just a time to come before God and ask Him for things. It is my time to nourish Jesus who lives in me. Without that time of prayer, the spirit within me is starving.

And I wonder if I truly ever FEEL my spirit crying out in hunger like I do when I am physically hungry?

When I am feasting on a daily abundance of prayer and time with God, my spirit is full. Full of peace and joy and contentment. And, yes, when I don't feed my spirit, I do feel it. I find that the more time I spend feeding my spirit, the more I crave it. The louder that spiritual self becomes. The more tuned in I am to truth and to the promptings I believe are from God, the more I feel like life makes sense and I have hope.

It amazes me that so many people genuinely crave that spiritual food, but they neglect to really seek it out and satisfy their appetite. Can you imagine if you were physically hungry and kept asking people for advice on how to satiate the hunger, yet every time someone recommended that you spend some time eating, you say you tried that, but you just don't have time for it?

So, I hope I can remember to feed my spirit. Not just once a day. Not just a quick "thanks" before I eat. Not just to beg for help when I'm at my wits end. But, to really feed on God throughout every day of my life.

Because, as I noted in my journal this morning, I am so connected to God during my quiet time with him in the morning. During that time I feel so alive and the moment feels so sacred. But my challenge is to keep that holy, sacred perspective throughout my day. To keep my eyes open to opportunities to love, to demonstrate grace and mercy and compassion. One way I can be more focused is to continue to feed my spirit. Day and night.

I need spiritual food.

Finding God in unexpected places

This summer I came across this book I had read once before, but am happy to be reading it again. It is "Finding God in Unexpected Places" by Phillip Yancey.

Last night, as I laid in bed waiting for Hurricane Irene to blow my roof off, I was reading the Chapter entitled "The Wall Comes Tumbling Down" referring to the Berlin Wall.

I read:

"...In East Germany, one of the few Eastern European countries with a Protestant majority, for forty years the church sought ways to serve the "city of God" while living in an officially atheistic "city of the world". Since many avenues (such as television and radio) were closed, early on the church adopted a commitment to care for the neediest members of society, especially the profoundly disabled. And they met together regularly for worship and prayer.

Although Jesus spoke of a "kingdom that is within you," throughout history the church has faced constant temptation to form alliances with external centers of power. The US church faces just that temptation today, with its emphasis on politics rather than spirituality. Yet, in a nation like East Germany under Communism, that possibility did not exist. Christians there had no "power base" as such, none but the power of love and prayer."

OK, that is just a tiny excerpt. But is resonates so deeply with me. Forgive me for generalizing here, but I must say that the church of the US really gets on my nerves. If some of the people who claim to love Jesus would just quit trying to get into a position of POWER and instead find the POWER of loving and serving others with compassion, humility, kindness and love! The power of the kingdom of Jesus has nothing to do with politics. It is the power of grace and love and serving. Unfortunately, many will never see that power. Because so many followers of Christ spend all of their time, energy, and voice condemning and judging and fighting at the political levels instead of loving, accepting, extending grace and shining the light of Jesus to actual people in need.

When did Jesus ever command his followers to "go out and judge others...." or to "go out and make laws for people to follow...."

No! Jesus commanded his followers to Love God and Love others. He also commanded us to make disciples.

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, how are you reflecting His love to others? I'm not saying I am good at it myself, but it is my hope and prayer that our family, and our church community is a light of hope and a refuge for all. Pointing the finger and making judgements on others is not a way to reflect light. Nor is it a way to transform hearts that are broken and hurting and in need of repair. And, making laws that we think will force people to do the right thing? That doesn't transform hearts either. The only way I believe that a heart can be transformed is the power of love. And I believe that Jesus offers that love. That power.

I know that there are a lot of amazing people who are humbly serving others and living in a way that reflects the love of Jesus. And I also know that the media loves to focus more on the negative, destructive, ugly side of things. So, we are much more likely to hear about the nasty and ugly side of the church in our country. But, I really hope that more people who claim to be followers of Jesus will let go of their faith in nationalism and politics and embrace the faith that Jesus modeled for us.

pathetic.

It really does seem pathetic sometiemes...this life of a Mom. First I am completely independent and fearful of bringing a child into my life who depends on me. Then, just as expected, I fall so deeply in love with my child that my head swirls and I encounter a new level of reality here on earth. Then, life moves so quickly. Sleepless nights. Milestones reached and passed. Another baby who provides another glimpse of how BIG love can be and how much love can be held in one human heart. And, more quickly, life spins. Potty training. Teaching. Laughing. Crying. Encouraging. Baby talk. Toddling. Learning to ride a bike. Learning about love. Learning about disappointment and discipline. Juggling work, scheduled activities, family time, serving others, down time. School days. How can they be gone so many hours of the day? Who is influencing them? Shaping them? Molding them? Did I do enough preliminary training to ward off the lies and worldly influences they will encounter? Is there still a chance to have an influence on their hearts?

And now, a new era. At once joyful and heartbreaking. My baby is old enough to "babysit". It started with brief stints of time having her stay home with her little sister. That grew into a few opportunities to stay home for a longer stretch of time while we went out for an evening. And, let me say, this has been so amazing. I can now say "Hey girls, I'm going for a run, be back in about 45 minutes." And, off I go! Freedom that has subsided to a distant memory has been thrust back into my reality. FREEDOM! Yet, it doesn't feel like the independence and freedom I had 12 years ago. There is at once a feeling of elation and appreciation for this renewed freedom, and at the same time a nagging feeling of dread that the time I have cherished with my sweet girls is no longer what it once was. Especially with my tween. It is natural and necessary for her begin craving more time with peers and in her own pursuits.

But, when my girls are not with me....I miss them. A lot. THey bring me such joy. And I feel such an intense and consuming drive to use every single moment as a "teachable moment" with them so that I am confident they are going out into the world equipped with what they need to make good choices and be true servants of God. Well, let's face it, I can't be like that every moment or I am a real drag. I have to just enjoy what we have, accept what is next, and continue to train their hearts and souls as we go along.

Alli put a shout out to friends and neighbors that she is ready to start doing some babysitting. Of course, she got 5 responses immediately saying that they can't wait to have her! Meanwhile, she has had some get togethers this week with her friends, and they have ventured off on their own to the park and for walks, and to the soda shop. Just them. No Mommies. And, what is pathetic? It made this pathetic mom feel really really sad. I don't want to give her up to others! Selfishly, I want her to say "No mom, I'm not ready to babysit! I'm not ready to go out with my friends. I just want to be home with you and the rest of my family becuase it is so great here and I want as much time here as possible!" But, truth is, she is just as independent as her mom. She's ready to go out into the world. And, I am so proud of her because she is a really good girl. She has shown amazing character and strength and integrity. And it really is thrilling to see her experience her independence and to test her boundaries and to discover her own steps.

So, this pathetic mom will unabashadly smother her girlies with love, affection, snuggles, praise, instruction, guidance, acceptance, truth, and encouragement. At the same time, I will establish those boundaries and challenge them to believe that they can expect more and better from themselves than they are currently seeing. They can always be growing to be more Christ-like in their character. They can, through the grace and power of God, achieve AMAZING things beyond their own capacity! If they are only striving for "their best" that is a shame. Their best is never enough. That is an endless, tiring, treadmill of effort. They need to believe and embrace that they can only submit their own efforts to God and let HIM do HIS BEST through them. That is when they will see incredible things happen in their lives!

Being a mom is a blessing I ever could have imagined. Thank you God.