I'm so grateful for a daily meditation I've been receiving via email.
A few of the quotes from today that hit me:
"God is eternal. The human mind is finite. If God could be comprehended, surrounded by a concept, this would make us greater than God"
and
"Alongside all our knowing must be the equal and honest 'knowing that I do not know'"
These are such freeing statements to my mind and heart.
It's so freeing for me to have well educated, well read, faithful, thoughtful, loving, curious people express what I'm already thinking. It feels validating.
I've always found it perplexing how people can make statement about God or their worldview with such simplicity or such certainty. For a while, I thought my goal was to read my bible and seek God and pray so that I, too, would have a rock solid certainty about who God is. As if my ultimate hope was to finally get God inside of a box that I could easily explain to others- so that they could have God in a box too.
It's really strange to consider that would ever be a big enough hope.
Because, for me, as soon as I would get God inside my box, I would find myself a little disappointed and unsure. It always bothered me that I was even encouraged to "share my faith" because I equated that with "put God into words and try to convey in spoken and written word all that God is". And I would feel deep down in my spirit that if I could explain God with my limited intellect and vocabulary (in my one and only understood language) then God isn't very impressive after all.
To me, it makes so much more sense and gives me so much more hope and freedom to acknowledge and state that God is paradox, mystery, unknowing, just beyond my reach, just beyond my words, just beyond my explanation. God is something I experience, feel and know in a part of myself that isn't language and reason.
Does that mean I can't share my faith?
No.
I still want to share this incredible hope and freedom and love with the world. I want everyone to experience the love, grace, mercy and freedom that I believe is the hope of the world! Of course I do.
But it actually makes me a little sick feeling to dumb that down to one bible verse or one cliche statement, or one certain idea that is meant to convey all that God is.
Especially something so weird like "God sent Jesus and you have to believe he's the only way to heaven or you'll be tortured for eternity."
What the?
That's it?
That's God?
That's his big idea for us summed up in one statement?
Where's the beauty? The love? The mystery? The hope? The freedom? The complexity?
How did that one idea become worthy of sharing, while essentially leaving everything else out as less relevant? Blows my mind.
I remember growing up, surrounded by many who had faith. I appreciate that I felt safe, that I had a deep sense of belonging, and that I felt "in". Of course, it breaks my heart that I honestly assumed anyone who was involved in a different church or religion was misled and it was probably a cult, because our church was "right" so everyone else had to be "wrong". It's the only way my faith could be strong. I had to dig in my heels and be certain we were right. So I had to exclude others.
But, of all that I learned and witnessed and heard, I can only remember one thing that triggered a sense of wonder and curiosity and hope.
It was when my Aunt Karin, my Godmother, would say to me "Jesus loves you."
And she took many opportunities to make sure I heard that. She wrote it in my birthday cards, whispered it in my ear when she hugged me, looked me in the eye and said it when I was overwhelmed.
I attended Catholic school for 8 years of my formative childhood, I went to mass at least once a week, usually 2-3 times a week during the school year. So I must have learned a lot. I said the rosary with my Grandma frequently, did the stations of the cross during lent, made all of my sacraments, took holy Communion, made my confession every few months, and said my memorized prayers every day.
But the only thing I remember is "Jesus loves you" being whispered in my ear and something deep inside me wanting to believe that was true.
I don't have any memory of any other things I did, said, or thought bringing me to that feeling of hope. My deep desire to believe I was loved. That I was worthy of Jesus' love. That I was connected somehow to the mysterious God through a love relationship that I did nothing to earn or deserve.
All of that yearning and hope was communicated to me somehow in that simple statement "Jesus loves you".
I could not have comprehended most of the thoughtful explanations I now enjoy reading about faith, grace, theology, and church history.
Yet, truth seems to find it's way to a soul that is searching.
And, for me, even as a child, my soul was searching for that truth. And my Aunt Karin, who lived a life of obedience to her Jesus, wanted to share that truth with me.
Man, we over complicate things. It's so weird. Of course God is beyond our comprehension. Of course we can't fully know God.
But we can seek truth.
And we can share hope and love.
And, if we believe it's true, we can simply whisper to someone "Jesus loves you."
About Me
- Superstar
- I'm not really a superstar, except maybe to my husband, who I happen to be deeply in love with. My life: Discovering, growing, evolving, learning to live and love like Jesus, and accepting invitations to adventure along the way.
Saturday, February 1, 2020
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Christians and rotten fruit
OK, it just ticks me off.
How can anyone throw around bible verses randomly and use them as an "argument" for how we are supposed to "live biblically"?
I get it, the bible is helpful for teaching, rebuking, training...I get it.
Helpful.
But here I am in Ephesians reading about how Husbands and Wives "should" love each other and how children "should" honor parents, and next think I know Paul is saying how slaves "should" obey, respect and fear their masters! As they would Christ!?!?! COME ON!
Sure, he continues with beautiful sentiment about being a slave to Christ and showing that kind of love and being rewarded for that. And he continues with the directive for Masters to treat slaves the same.
The point is, I just can not believe people pull out a bible verse and act like it's equal in authority, relevance or importance to any other verse just because maybe it says something that confirms or defends their position on something.
Or, out of sheer ignorance? They really think every single word is a directive that is equal to every other.
Absurd.
Paul was addressing a community where slavery WAS happening. There wasn't even a discussion on the table about slavery NOT happening. So, he addresses what IS happening and suggests order, love, and respect within the existing circumstances.
But if someone pulls out the verse "slaves obey your earthly masters with respect, and fear and with sincerity of heart", they could use it to defend a position that God condones slavery.
UGH!
Absurd!
When Jesus gives the sermon on the mount he says "'by their fruit you shall know them"...and when asked about ALL Of the laws, he says they can be summed up in "Love God, love others."
So, when discussing a "biblical view" of something, grabbing a random verse to argue about a current issue, when that verse was written to a different culture at a different time, with different circumstances I would hold it loosely. Because, Jesus, who we worship, follow and believe, summed up the law! So, yes, His words ARE more important and hold more weight.
We look at slavery and ask, does it produce good fruit? Is it loving?
NO!
OK, then perhaps it is not something that should be supported and practiced in the kingdom of God....by those who proclaim to be in the kingdom.
Of course, this fires me up, not so much because I experience modern-day people trying to defend slavery using bible verses. But I do see many Christians pulling out bible verses and using them to defend their actions of judgement, condemnation, cruelty, and discrimination towards LGBTQ people. Yet, I would argue that if you look at the random verses being yanked out of context, they are not referring to a loving, monogamous, committed, same-sex relationship. The references were about lust, sex, violence, oppression, rape, orgies, prostitution. There aren't references to respectful, mutually condoning, loving, physical relationships between same sex partners. So, to yank out a verse that's referring rape, violence and orgies and to compare it to our modern culture of same sex couples who are desiring a respectful, loving, monogamous, life-long covenant of a shared life where they honor each other with love? Wth? Then the verse is not addressing their "behavior".
Let's look at the fruit!
The fruit of a loving, committed couple sharing self-sacrificial love with each other....submitted to Jesus, loving others, being on mission for the Kingdom....
Compared to....
The fruit of Christians demanding that they NOT love each other but instead try to change...or try to live a life alone and never marry...or repent and feel disgusted by who they are and view themselves as repulsive, sinful, deviant. OH! And they definitely can't serve in the church if they're in a loving, committed, mutually respectful same-sex marriage or relationship. Their kingdom impact is not allowed in the church.
SO, they leave the church.
What kind of fruit is that? ROTTEN FRUIT.
Meanwhile, where does that leave the church?
The church is chowing down on the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and seeing that as their place. Yet, God said to stay away from that tree - or we're just trying to play God's role. We're supposed to eat from the tree of life! And we're supposed to share the fruit from the tree of live with everyone in the world! And that fruit is SO GOOD...too good to be true.
But, we're too afraid of that freedom. We don't trust it. So, we get lured into the role of moral police. That was never our place.
Love God.
Love Others.
Good Fruit.
When any person is driven AWAY from Jesus and His church and is made to feel unworthy or unwelcome, that is rotten fruit.
And it STINKS!
Do we not trust Jesus? When someone meets Jesus, loves Jesus, surrenders to Jesus as Lord...do we not trust Jesus to deal with the stuff in their life that is falling short or missing the mark?
I really don't want the job of judging each person. I don't. How can I LOVE them when I'm so focused on assessing their moral worthiness?
But, it is a beautiful thing to witness good fruit. When something is producing an overflow of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness...when something looks so much like Jesus it's compelling! If that good fruit is flowing from a couple who is the same sex, I'm OK leaving that detail up to Jesus. I can celebrate the fruit. Being the sex police is exhausting. Their relationship is NOT all about SEX! And I don't personally believe most bible verses about homosexual sex are referring to this kind of fruitful, loving relationship. Most are referring to gang rape, oppression, violence, forcing sex on children, orgies, and prostitution.
There was not a cultural reference to what is in our current culture.
Just like in Ephesians when Paul addresses slaves and masters. He didn't have any reference for a culture that did NOT have slaves. In bible verses, there wasn't an available reference for same-sex covenant love relationships. Only deviant ones.
When I watched the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, my heart broke for Freddy Mercury. He longed for a loving relationship. He tried to pursue one with a woman he loved. But, when he acknowledged his attraction was to men, his only option was the underground, hidden, dark world of sexual deviants. He wasn't allowed to pursue the kind of loving relationship he was desiring. It was forbidden.
He finally did find it. He found love. And I would imagine it was incredibly difficult to reveal their love relationship to family, friends, and the world who knew him because he was so famous. But, they did it anyways. And, that man was the partner who loved Freddy through the rest of his days and to his dying day. THAT was what Freddy wanted. He didn't WANT promiscuous, underground, kinky, forbidden sex. That's just the only thing that seemed available to him because of who he was attracted to. He wanted LOVE! He wanted to share his LIFE with someone - loving and serving each other.
And that LOVE looks like good fruit to me.
Much better fruit than loneliness, self hatred, solitude, and feeling unworthy. Or the fruit of hidden, shameful, forbidden sex that no one can know about. That's horrible. To give a person no other option but to deny them LOVE.
OK. Enough. That's my rant for today.
How can anyone throw around bible verses randomly and use them as an "argument" for how we are supposed to "live biblically"?
I get it, the bible is helpful for teaching, rebuking, training...I get it.
Helpful.
But here I am in Ephesians reading about how Husbands and Wives "should" love each other and how children "should" honor parents, and next think I know Paul is saying how slaves "should" obey, respect and fear their masters! As they would Christ!?!?! COME ON!
Sure, he continues with beautiful sentiment about being a slave to Christ and showing that kind of love and being rewarded for that. And he continues with the directive for Masters to treat slaves the same.
The point is, I just can not believe people pull out a bible verse and act like it's equal in authority, relevance or importance to any other verse just because maybe it says something that confirms or defends their position on something.
Or, out of sheer ignorance? They really think every single word is a directive that is equal to every other.
Absurd.
Paul was addressing a community where slavery WAS happening. There wasn't even a discussion on the table about slavery NOT happening. So, he addresses what IS happening and suggests order, love, and respect within the existing circumstances.
But if someone pulls out the verse "slaves obey your earthly masters with respect, and fear and with sincerity of heart", they could use it to defend a position that God condones slavery.
UGH!
Absurd!
When Jesus gives the sermon on the mount he says "'by their fruit you shall know them"...and when asked about ALL Of the laws, he says they can be summed up in "Love God, love others."
So, when discussing a "biblical view" of something, grabbing a random verse to argue about a current issue, when that verse was written to a different culture at a different time, with different circumstances I would hold it loosely. Because, Jesus, who we worship, follow and believe, summed up the law! So, yes, His words ARE more important and hold more weight.
We look at slavery and ask, does it produce good fruit? Is it loving?
NO!
OK, then perhaps it is not something that should be supported and practiced in the kingdom of God....by those who proclaim to be in the kingdom.
Of course, this fires me up, not so much because I experience modern-day people trying to defend slavery using bible verses. But I do see many Christians pulling out bible verses and using them to defend their actions of judgement, condemnation, cruelty, and discrimination towards LGBTQ people. Yet, I would argue that if you look at the random verses being yanked out of context, they are not referring to a loving, monogamous, committed, same-sex relationship. The references were about lust, sex, violence, oppression, rape, orgies, prostitution. There aren't references to respectful, mutually condoning, loving, physical relationships between same sex partners. So, to yank out a verse that's referring rape, violence and orgies and to compare it to our modern culture of same sex couples who are desiring a respectful, loving, monogamous, life-long covenant of a shared life where they honor each other with love? Wth? Then the verse is not addressing their "behavior".
Let's look at the fruit!
The fruit of a loving, committed couple sharing self-sacrificial love with each other....submitted to Jesus, loving others, being on mission for the Kingdom....
Compared to....
The fruit of Christians demanding that they NOT love each other but instead try to change...or try to live a life alone and never marry...or repent and feel disgusted by who they are and view themselves as repulsive, sinful, deviant. OH! And they definitely can't serve in the church if they're in a loving, committed, mutually respectful same-sex marriage or relationship. Their kingdom impact is not allowed in the church.
SO, they leave the church.
What kind of fruit is that? ROTTEN FRUIT.
Meanwhile, where does that leave the church?
The church is chowing down on the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and seeing that as their place. Yet, God said to stay away from that tree - or we're just trying to play God's role. We're supposed to eat from the tree of life! And we're supposed to share the fruit from the tree of live with everyone in the world! And that fruit is SO GOOD...too good to be true.
But, we're too afraid of that freedom. We don't trust it. So, we get lured into the role of moral police. That was never our place.
Love God.
Love Others.
Good Fruit.
When any person is driven AWAY from Jesus and His church and is made to feel unworthy or unwelcome, that is rotten fruit.
And it STINKS!
Do we not trust Jesus? When someone meets Jesus, loves Jesus, surrenders to Jesus as Lord...do we not trust Jesus to deal with the stuff in their life that is falling short or missing the mark?
I really don't want the job of judging each person. I don't. How can I LOVE them when I'm so focused on assessing their moral worthiness?
But, it is a beautiful thing to witness good fruit. When something is producing an overflow of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness...when something looks so much like Jesus it's compelling! If that good fruit is flowing from a couple who is the same sex, I'm OK leaving that detail up to Jesus. I can celebrate the fruit. Being the sex police is exhausting. Their relationship is NOT all about SEX! And I don't personally believe most bible verses about homosexual sex are referring to this kind of fruitful, loving relationship. Most are referring to gang rape, oppression, violence, forcing sex on children, orgies, and prostitution.
There was not a cultural reference to what is in our current culture.
Just like in Ephesians when Paul addresses slaves and masters. He didn't have any reference for a culture that did NOT have slaves. In bible verses, there wasn't an available reference for same-sex covenant love relationships. Only deviant ones.
When I watched the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, my heart broke for Freddy Mercury. He longed for a loving relationship. He tried to pursue one with a woman he loved. But, when he acknowledged his attraction was to men, his only option was the underground, hidden, dark world of sexual deviants. He wasn't allowed to pursue the kind of loving relationship he was desiring. It was forbidden.
He finally did find it. He found love. And I would imagine it was incredibly difficult to reveal their love relationship to family, friends, and the world who knew him because he was so famous. But, they did it anyways. And, that man was the partner who loved Freddy through the rest of his days and to his dying day. THAT was what Freddy wanted. He didn't WANT promiscuous, underground, kinky, forbidden sex. That's just the only thing that seemed available to him because of who he was attracted to. He wanted LOVE! He wanted to share his LIFE with someone - loving and serving each other.
And that LOVE looks like good fruit to me.
Much better fruit than loneliness, self hatred, solitude, and feeling unworthy. Or the fruit of hidden, shameful, forbidden sex that no one can know about. That's horrible. To give a person no other option but to deny them LOVE.
OK. Enough. That's my rant for today.
Friday, September 13, 2019
Did God Kill Jesus? I don't think so.
Great time to be thinking about Easter, huh?
I know most people are feeling the excitement of Fall in the air, and even dreaming about the upcoming celebrations of Thanksgiving and maybe even Christmas.
But, for some reason, I am day dreaming about Easter.
Easter is my favorite. It's the most meaningful time of year to me.
As a follower of Jesus, Easter is downright crazy.
I mean, it's one thing to believe in the whole Christmas story and about Jesus being born to a virgin and being the incarnation, human form of the God of the universe. Yah, that's weird.
But, Easter?
To believe that Jesus died and then after a couple of days he rose from the dead and was physically alive again, but he kinda looked different because some people close to him didn't even recognize him? And then to believe that event has profound meaning to my life right now, 2000 years later? That is beyond weird. That's crazy.
But, that's what Christians believe! That's what I believe!
And it is so weird and supernatural and mystical.
And, although I'm not planning to spend time defending why I would believe such a crazy thing actually happened, I do believe there is sufficient evidence that it did.
Anyways, for so many years of my life I've heard the explanation of Jesus' death framed as him being a sacrificial lamb, dying in my place, because God needs a blood sacrifice to atone for sins. So, Jesus steps in and is that sacrifice for me.
But, that inevitably leads me to view God as a bloodthirsty, vengeful entity. And, it leads me to view myself as a sinful being unworthy of God's love but lucky because Jesus was worthy.
So, I'm left with a really crummy impression of God's character and my own.
But, in recent years, I've heard the death and resurrection of Jesus described differently. And I'm left with a beautiful, flawless, perfect, all-loving impression of the triune God. And I'm left feeling worthy, loved, victorious, fearless, and filled with hope and purpose.
Hmmmm
But because I've heard the substitutionary atonement theory repeatedly for over 40 years, I sometimes struggle to articulate what I REALLY believe the resurrection is all about.
Victory over evil.
Victory over death.
A model of dying and rising - which is a continual part of my faith journey. Die to self, rise up into the version of me that God created. Continually.
From Cynthia Bourgeault's reflections: "Christianity has tended to view the resurrection as Jesus' triumph over physical death...but...it's meaning lies in something far deeper than merely the resurrection of a corpse. Jesus' real purpose in this sacrifice was to wager his own life against his core conviction that love is stronger than death, and that laying down self, which is the essence of this love, leads not to death, but to life..."
She goes on about how this gives us an archetype for all of our personal experiences of dying and rising "reminding us that it is not only possible but imperative to fall through fear, into love because that is the only way we will ever truly know what it means to be alive".
This is SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL, helpful, inspiring, transformative and encouraging to contemplate than the idea of my being awful and unworthy of love until Jesus is brutally murdered in my place.
I don't believe I am unworthy or that I was unworthy. Sure, I'm a sinner. Because I am human and have to continually die to self and seek to be reborn as God's creation. Always allowing His spirit to refine me, regenerate me, remind me. His spirit reminds me that I was created by Him and he cherishes that creation. He didn't create me as an unworthy sinner who he couldn't bear to look at because I'm too disgusting for His pure eyes - so he needed a mutilated Jesus to step between us so he could bear looking directly at my awful self.
What the?
That's crazy!
So, today I'm thinking about the end of my favorite season and the coming of the cooler months.
And I'm thinking about Easter and the resurrection and the life of Jesus.
I'm thinking about the infinite beauty of the love of God and the stark contrast between that light and the darkness that is sin and evil.
I truly do realize how weird it is to believe these things actually happened. And it's weird to believe these events continue to have profound affect on humanity in this present moment 2000 years later.
I could say so much more.
Jesus was the ultimate scapegoat. In perfect love, he took all of the hate, blame, rage, fear, and accusations...and he accepted it all with grace and mercy and forgiveness. He let humanity pile all of our disgusting sins on him and He carried that weight to his death. His murder. He then had victory over death and showed that all of that sin does not win.
In the ultimate display of victory, he demonstrated that love wins.
God didn't kill Jesus to quench his thirst for a blood sacrifice. We killed Jesus. Evil killed Jesus. And we piled all of our sin on Him. And he took it all. And he showed us that evil doesn't win. It can't win. Because God is love and love is all powerful.
I love Easter.
I know most people are feeling the excitement of Fall in the air, and even dreaming about the upcoming celebrations of Thanksgiving and maybe even Christmas.
But, for some reason, I am day dreaming about Easter.
Easter is my favorite. It's the most meaningful time of year to me.
As a follower of Jesus, Easter is downright crazy.
I mean, it's one thing to believe in the whole Christmas story and about Jesus being born to a virgin and being the incarnation, human form of the God of the universe. Yah, that's weird.
But, Easter?
To believe that Jesus died and then after a couple of days he rose from the dead and was physically alive again, but he kinda looked different because some people close to him didn't even recognize him? And then to believe that event has profound meaning to my life right now, 2000 years later? That is beyond weird. That's crazy.
But, that's what Christians believe! That's what I believe!
And it is so weird and supernatural and mystical.
And, although I'm not planning to spend time defending why I would believe such a crazy thing actually happened, I do believe there is sufficient evidence that it did.
Anyways, for so many years of my life I've heard the explanation of Jesus' death framed as him being a sacrificial lamb, dying in my place, because God needs a blood sacrifice to atone for sins. So, Jesus steps in and is that sacrifice for me.
But, that inevitably leads me to view God as a bloodthirsty, vengeful entity. And, it leads me to view myself as a sinful being unworthy of God's love but lucky because Jesus was worthy.
So, I'm left with a really crummy impression of God's character and my own.
But, in recent years, I've heard the death and resurrection of Jesus described differently. And I'm left with a beautiful, flawless, perfect, all-loving impression of the triune God. And I'm left feeling worthy, loved, victorious, fearless, and filled with hope and purpose.
Hmmmm
But because I've heard the substitutionary atonement theory repeatedly for over 40 years, I sometimes struggle to articulate what I REALLY believe the resurrection is all about.
Victory over evil.
Victory over death.
A model of dying and rising - which is a continual part of my faith journey. Die to self, rise up into the version of me that God created. Continually.
From Cynthia Bourgeault's reflections: "Christianity has tended to view the resurrection as Jesus' triumph over physical death...but...it's meaning lies in something far deeper than merely the resurrection of a corpse. Jesus' real purpose in this sacrifice was to wager his own life against his core conviction that love is stronger than death, and that laying down self, which is the essence of this love, leads not to death, but to life..."
She goes on about how this gives us an archetype for all of our personal experiences of dying and rising "reminding us that it is not only possible but imperative to fall through fear, into love because that is the only way we will ever truly know what it means to be alive".
This is SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL, helpful, inspiring, transformative and encouraging to contemplate than the idea of my being awful and unworthy of love until Jesus is brutally murdered in my place.
I don't believe I am unworthy or that I was unworthy. Sure, I'm a sinner. Because I am human and have to continually die to self and seek to be reborn as God's creation. Always allowing His spirit to refine me, regenerate me, remind me. His spirit reminds me that I was created by Him and he cherishes that creation. He didn't create me as an unworthy sinner who he couldn't bear to look at because I'm too disgusting for His pure eyes - so he needed a mutilated Jesus to step between us so he could bear looking directly at my awful self.
What the?
That's crazy!
So, today I'm thinking about the end of my favorite season and the coming of the cooler months.
And I'm thinking about Easter and the resurrection and the life of Jesus.
I'm thinking about the infinite beauty of the love of God and the stark contrast between that light and the darkness that is sin and evil.
I truly do realize how weird it is to believe these things actually happened. And it's weird to believe these events continue to have profound affect on humanity in this present moment 2000 years later.
I could say so much more.
Jesus was the ultimate scapegoat. In perfect love, he took all of the hate, blame, rage, fear, and accusations...and he accepted it all with grace and mercy and forgiveness. He let humanity pile all of our disgusting sins on him and He carried that weight to his death. His murder. He then had victory over death and showed that all of that sin does not win.
In the ultimate display of victory, he demonstrated that love wins.
God didn't kill Jesus to quench his thirst for a blood sacrifice. We killed Jesus. Evil killed Jesus. And we piled all of our sin on Him. And he took it all. And he showed us that evil doesn't win. It can't win. Because God is love and love is all powerful.
I love Easter.
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Our calling
Reading from a daily email I'm subscribed to, this jumped out at me and stopped me:
"This is our calling as Christian faithful: to recognize the Christ in everyone. And to reach out a hand of hope, to speak a word of love, to sing a song of happiness, to share a tear of joy or pain, to speak a word of praise, to murmur a prayer, to stand together against those forces that word divide us, isolate us, and block our flow toward home"
This is beautiful.
I'm baffled as to how some who identify as Christians have come to believe that their calling as a Christian faithful is practically the opposite of this?
To recognize evil in everyone, to reach out a hand of condemnation and judgment, to bring others tears of pain and to create and feed forces that would divide us, isolate us, block our flow toward home.
And to do all of this in the name of our beautiful savior Jesus? youch!
It is amazing to me that the lure towards being our own god is so strong that we would call ourselves Christ followers, yet instead of being filled with the spirit and producing the fruit of the spirit in our lives, we could see our calling as a need to judge others, condemn others, dividing and be the spiritual police of everyone.
I absolutely love the freedom that comes with this statement - "to reach out a hand of hope"...
Whatever that looks like!
Who needs hope? Everyone!
To speak a word of love.
Who needs love? Everyone!
To share a tear of joy or pain?!
Who needs that? Everyone!
We get the impossible privilege of being Jesus to the world. It's impossible because, without the spirit of God in me, I can't love others completely and selflessly.
I can't.
I want to reserve some for myself, I want to categorize and determine who is most deserving of my love.
I want to be judge.
I want to protect my heart from pain instead of allowing myself to enter into someones suffering.
I want to keep my own possessions instead of letting them go and sharing with those who don't have.
On my own, it's really hard to truly live out the "call"
But, if I surrender self and instead submit to the power of the Spirit of Christ, I get the supernatural power to love like Christ!
YES PLEASE!
Oh, how I want that power!
To love without keeping score...to enter into the suffering of others simply to help carry the weight...to give more that I receive...to see the beauty of Christ in everyone...to bridge divides, heal wounds, and reveal miraculous supernatural love to those who have never experienced it!
I want to be a part of that.
I want to live for that purpose.
I can't do that in my own strength and my own spirit. I need to be filled to overflow with the spirit of love, wisdom, mercy.
I need to jump into the flow of the trinitarian God...the flow of perfect love...where giving and receiving are constant and indecipherable from each other...giving love and receiving love is a constant state of being...
Because once I'm in that flow, nothing else looks as appealing.
Selfishness breaks the flow and I don't want to break it!
It's too good! It's perfect! It's union with my creator. It's life at a soul level. It's spiritual oxygen.
And when I'm breathing deeply of this pure spiritual oxygen, it's so crushing to see others who are gasping for air as they grasp and claw for control, power, or just survival.
Here I am, breathing deeply, and they're gasping for air.
To me, that is the good news and the reason I'm compelled to share it.
I want everyone to be free from the choking, gasping, struggling to breathe.
I want people to feel the flow of love, the freedom to let go.
The joy of denying self and submitting to a love so good that nothing else compares.
Once a person tastes of this love, I can trust the spirit to guide what they do.
I don't need to govern how they act.
Not my job. Thankfully!
Never was, never will be.
I'm not any one's god.
"This is our calling as Christian faithful: to recognize the Christ in everyone. And to reach out a hand of hope, to speak a word of love, to sing a song of happiness, to share a tear of joy or pain, to speak a word of praise, to murmur a prayer, to stand together against those forces that word divide us, isolate us, and block our flow toward home"
This is beautiful.
I'm baffled as to how some who identify as Christians have come to believe that their calling as a Christian faithful is practically the opposite of this?
To recognize evil in everyone, to reach out a hand of condemnation and judgment, to bring others tears of pain and to create and feed forces that would divide us, isolate us, block our flow toward home.
And to do all of this in the name of our beautiful savior Jesus? youch!
It is amazing to me that the lure towards being our own god is so strong that we would call ourselves Christ followers, yet instead of being filled with the spirit and producing the fruit of the spirit in our lives, we could see our calling as a need to judge others, condemn others, dividing and be the spiritual police of everyone.
I absolutely love the freedom that comes with this statement - "to reach out a hand of hope"...
Whatever that looks like!
Who needs hope? Everyone!
To speak a word of love.
Who needs love? Everyone!
To share a tear of joy or pain?!
Who needs that? Everyone!
We get the impossible privilege of being Jesus to the world. It's impossible because, without the spirit of God in me, I can't love others completely and selflessly.
I can't.
I want to reserve some for myself, I want to categorize and determine who is most deserving of my love.
I want to be judge.
I want to protect my heart from pain instead of allowing myself to enter into someones suffering.
I want to keep my own possessions instead of letting them go and sharing with those who don't have.
On my own, it's really hard to truly live out the "call"
But, if I surrender self and instead submit to the power of the Spirit of Christ, I get the supernatural power to love like Christ!
YES PLEASE!
Oh, how I want that power!
To love without keeping score...to enter into the suffering of others simply to help carry the weight...to give more that I receive...to see the beauty of Christ in everyone...to bridge divides, heal wounds, and reveal miraculous supernatural love to those who have never experienced it!
I want to be a part of that.
I want to live for that purpose.
I can't do that in my own strength and my own spirit. I need to be filled to overflow with the spirit of love, wisdom, mercy.
I need to jump into the flow of the trinitarian God...the flow of perfect love...where giving and receiving are constant and indecipherable from each other...giving love and receiving love is a constant state of being...
Because once I'm in that flow, nothing else looks as appealing.
Selfishness breaks the flow and I don't want to break it!
It's too good! It's perfect! It's union with my creator. It's life at a soul level. It's spiritual oxygen.
And when I'm breathing deeply of this pure spiritual oxygen, it's so crushing to see others who are gasping for air as they grasp and claw for control, power, or just survival.
Here I am, breathing deeply, and they're gasping for air.
To me, that is the good news and the reason I'm compelled to share it.
I want everyone to be free from the choking, gasping, struggling to breathe.
I want people to feel the flow of love, the freedom to let go.
The joy of denying self and submitting to a love so good that nothing else compares.
Once a person tastes of this love, I can trust the spirit to guide what they do.
I don't need to govern how they act.
Not my job. Thankfully!
Never was, never will be.
I'm not any one's god.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Embrace - come on women, let's change the world.
I'm so grateful that I went with a group of women to a screening of the movie "Embrace" last night. And I'm further grateful that I brought my teen daughter. Because the message is so important.
This morning as I'm journaling, I'm all fired up.
So, I thought I'd share my journal entry as a post.
The movie blurb: EMBRACE follows Taryn Brumfitt's crusade as she explores the global issue of body loathing, inspiring us to change the way we feel about ourselves and think about our bodies.
I really want all women to get this message and allow it to change them. I want men to get this message so they can stop reducing women down to objects.
It's so devastating to think of all the wasted time and energy women have spent obsessing about their body image and beauty when we could be spending that precious energy being the world changers we were created to be.
We've been trapped, paralyzed by shame and self loathing, striving for a perfect figure that does not exist without photo editing.
In the end, I want to be remembered as someone who used her energy to love, to fight for change, to invite others to enjoy food and laughter and fun. I don't give a crap if I'm remembered as thin, pretty, sexy. Who cares?!
When I care for myself, I want my motivation to always be an appreciation for what my body and mind are capable of and a desire to remain strong and capable so that I can live this precious life to the full. I'm not interested in whether someone else thinks I look good in a fricken bathing suit. But, I'll be grateful for each day that I'm physically capable of running, biking, hiking, walking, playing sports, swimming, and doing hundreds of other daily activities that require my strength to function. Sure, I'll be sad as I age and am unable to do some things that bring me joy and serve a purpose. But, I hope I can resist the temptation to think of myself as being on display for anyone to judge. No one can reduce me down to my body or my appearance unless I allow them to.
I invest in my physical and mental health so that I'm best prepared to take on the day that comes my way - ready for any opportunity. I don't care for myself in order to gain approval from shallow people who desire to judge me based on my appearance.
But, the reason I'm so fired up about this is because it's so easy to fall into the trap! I'd like to say I never do. But it's the air we breathe. It's the culture we are immersed in. I'm not immune. And that makes me really really mad!
Women have so much to offer this world. To be reduced down to skinny or fat, pretty or ugly, is so irrelevant it makes my blood boil.
It's astonishing to think of how crafty the enemy of our souls truly is. The deceiver. The father of lies.
As women, we can be so distracted by the pursuit of superficial beauty that might satisfy others that we can live in perpetual dissatisfaction about ourselves. We are blind to our true beauty, strength, power, purpose, and identity. Even those who manage to achieve the "ideal" look can never feel like they're pretty enough, thin enough, perfect enough.
Meanwhile, the God-given beauty deep in our soul is being snuffed out. What if we were spending our time and energy nurturing our souls and finding a purpose greater than ourselves? Then the world would be ROCKED! The world would change! All that focus, time, and energy would be directed out into the hurting world and it would bring healing, reformation, and love like we've never seen.
I'm so grateful for Taryn Brumfitt who chose to use her story and her creativity and her resourcefulness to create this documentary. I'm so inspired.
Come on women! Let's be known, not for our looks, but for how we change the world!
This morning as I'm journaling, I'm all fired up.
So, I thought I'd share my journal entry as a post.
The movie blurb: EMBRACE follows Taryn Brumfitt's crusade as she explores the global issue of body loathing, inspiring us to change the way we feel about ourselves and think about our bodies.
I really want all women to get this message and allow it to change them. I want men to get this message so they can stop reducing women down to objects.
It's so devastating to think of all the wasted time and energy women have spent obsessing about their body image and beauty when we could be spending that precious energy being the world changers we were created to be.
We've been trapped, paralyzed by shame and self loathing, striving for a perfect figure that does not exist without photo editing.
In the end, I want to be remembered as someone who used her energy to love, to fight for change, to invite others to enjoy food and laughter and fun. I don't give a crap if I'm remembered as thin, pretty, sexy. Who cares?!
When I care for myself, I want my motivation to always be an appreciation for what my body and mind are capable of and a desire to remain strong and capable so that I can live this precious life to the full. I'm not interested in whether someone else thinks I look good in a fricken bathing suit. But, I'll be grateful for each day that I'm physically capable of running, biking, hiking, walking, playing sports, swimming, and doing hundreds of other daily activities that require my strength to function. Sure, I'll be sad as I age and am unable to do some things that bring me joy and serve a purpose. But, I hope I can resist the temptation to think of myself as being on display for anyone to judge. No one can reduce me down to my body or my appearance unless I allow them to.
I invest in my physical and mental health so that I'm best prepared to take on the day that comes my way - ready for any opportunity. I don't care for myself in order to gain approval from shallow people who desire to judge me based on my appearance.
But, the reason I'm so fired up about this is because it's so easy to fall into the trap! I'd like to say I never do. But it's the air we breathe. It's the culture we are immersed in. I'm not immune. And that makes me really really mad!
Women have so much to offer this world. To be reduced down to skinny or fat, pretty or ugly, is so irrelevant it makes my blood boil.
It's astonishing to think of how crafty the enemy of our souls truly is. The deceiver. The father of lies.
As women, we can be so distracted by the pursuit of superficial beauty that might satisfy others that we can live in perpetual dissatisfaction about ourselves. We are blind to our true beauty, strength, power, purpose, and identity. Even those who manage to achieve the "ideal" look can never feel like they're pretty enough, thin enough, perfect enough.
Meanwhile, the God-given beauty deep in our soul is being snuffed out. What if we were spending our time and energy nurturing our souls and finding a purpose greater than ourselves? Then the world would be ROCKED! The world would change! All that focus, time, and energy would be directed out into the hurting world and it would bring healing, reformation, and love like we've never seen.
I'm so grateful for Taryn Brumfitt who chose to use her story and her creativity and her resourcefulness to create this documentary. I'm so inspired.
Come on women! Let's be known, not for our looks, but for how we change the world!
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
What does "follow" mean?
Today my reading in the prayer challenge book is about abiding. He writes a lot about abiding in the word of God.
A few things I underlined:
"Come follow me...meant taking the Rabbi's yoke...the yoke represented the sum total of the Rabbi's philosophy and practice. It meant spending every waking moment with him."
If we are disciples of Jesus, that means we "follow" him. It means we take on the total of Jesus' philosophy and practice-spending every waking hour with him.
But, we want to just take a quick glance at his life - maybe on a Sunday when someone teaches from the bible. Maybe a quick bible verse or chapter here and there.
And we want to ask him to follow us....so we can turn around and check in whenever it's convenient and we want to blame him when prayers aren't answered or life sucks.
But, all the while, we aren't following him. Because, it costs us everything. We have to let go of our life and surrender. We don't want to do that. That's radical. Crazy really.
So, we call ourselves disciples, followers, believers...but do we even know what that means?
We look at Jesus' life, maybe read the gospels that show us his "philosophy and practice" while living among us. And we marvel at the way he lived! We marvel at the way he upended the religious and led a revolution of selfless grace and compassion. He was so beautiful. Love in the flesh.
But he was radical!
So we may marvel, but we don't really follow.
He didn't have a home or possessions. He didn't have a wife and kids, a stable job with a plan for retirement and college savings plans. He didn't justify ANY violence, but instead said "love your enemies". He forgave his enemies while he was being tortured to death. He didn't spend any time with people in powerful, influential positions, but he was always with the people who were considered lower, less than, unworthy, unimportant, not powerful. He wasn't trying to convince the government to change, but was starting a grass roots revolution of radical love that was founded on putting others before himself. A servant expecting nothing in return.
We marvel at this.
Wow, Jesus was amazing!
But we don't really follow.
If follow means "taking on the total of Jesus' philosophy and practice", then we usually find ourselves learning from, admiring, and pondering - but rarely actually following.
Yet, we know that our joy can be complete if we follow. But, it's too hard. We have too much we do not want to surrender and let go of.
I guess what's weird is that we don't surrender and follow, but we hold on to our own plans, our idols, and our fear. But then we wonder why Jesus isn't rescuing us, or we say "I don't hear from God - that just happened back in the time the bible was written." Or we blame God for everything. Yet, do we even know him? Do we know His character? Have we trusted His goodness? Or have we tried to learn a little bit from Jesus' life, all the while holding on tightly to our own?
A few things I underlined:
"Come follow me...meant taking the Rabbi's yoke...the yoke represented the sum total of the Rabbi's philosophy and practice. It meant spending every waking moment with him."
If we are disciples of Jesus, that means we "follow" him. It means we take on the total of Jesus' philosophy and practice-spending every waking hour with him.
But, we want to just take a quick glance at his life - maybe on a Sunday when someone teaches from the bible. Maybe a quick bible verse or chapter here and there.
And we want to ask him to follow us....so we can turn around and check in whenever it's convenient and we want to blame him when prayers aren't answered or life sucks.
But, all the while, we aren't following him. Because, it costs us everything. We have to let go of our life and surrender. We don't want to do that. That's radical. Crazy really.
So, we call ourselves disciples, followers, believers...but do we even know what that means?
We look at Jesus' life, maybe read the gospels that show us his "philosophy and practice" while living among us. And we marvel at the way he lived! We marvel at the way he upended the religious and led a revolution of selfless grace and compassion. He was so beautiful. Love in the flesh.
But he was radical!
So we may marvel, but we don't really follow.
He didn't have a home or possessions. He didn't have a wife and kids, a stable job with a plan for retirement and college savings plans. He didn't justify ANY violence, but instead said "love your enemies". He forgave his enemies while he was being tortured to death. He didn't spend any time with people in powerful, influential positions, but he was always with the people who were considered lower, less than, unworthy, unimportant, not powerful. He wasn't trying to convince the government to change, but was starting a grass roots revolution of radical love that was founded on putting others before himself. A servant expecting nothing in return.
We marvel at this.
Wow, Jesus was amazing!
But we don't really follow.
If follow means "taking on the total of Jesus' philosophy and practice", then we usually find ourselves learning from, admiring, and pondering - but rarely actually following.
Yet, we know that our joy can be complete if we follow. But, it's too hard. We have too much we do not want to surrender and let go of.
I guess what's weird is that we don't surrender and follow, but we hold on to our own plans, our idols, and our fear. But then we wonder why Jesus isn't rescuing us, or we say "I don't hear from God - that just happened back in the time the bible was written." Or we blame God for everything. Yet, do we even know him? Do we know His character? Have we trusted His goodness? Or have we tried to learn a little bit from Jesus' life, all the while holding on tightly to our own?
Monday, March 11, 2019
Miracles, Forgiveness and Buddhism?
Reading Acts 14:1-7
What jumped out at me was verse 3 "So Paul and Barnabas spent considerable time there, speaking boldly for the Lord, who confirmed the message of his grace by enabling them to do miraculous signs and wonders."
Really? How cool is that? Must be nice, aye? They tell people about the power of the risen Christ and then they do some miracles so they have some street cred.
If that's how God works, I should assume that's still possible. But, we don't believe it ourselves, so we wouldn't trust enough to ask for miracles.
When did that get so lost? So many of us simply "believe in God" and consider all of the bible stuff ancient history.
But Paul enters the story at the same point we do. So, where did his power come from? Same as ours. The power given by the holy spirit.
But I don't live as if that power is real. I'm skeptical, maybe even cynical. Yet, if I reflect, I've seen so many miracles!
So many lives transformed, redeemed, rescued, changed, lifted out of darkness.
That's probably why I like the book 'The Hiding Place" so much. Corrie Ten Boom talks about so many instances where she just had supernatural understanding, knowledge, protection, direction, power, strength, and ability.
But, did it protect her from suffering? Not at all!
She lost everything!
She lost her dignity, health, home, safety, and her loved ones. They were killed. They weren't protected. The miracles were not always the ones she desperately pleaded for. But, somehow, she continued to put her faith and TRUST in God!
And he led her to heal so many from the trauma of the war and the holocaust. She could not have been open to any of that had she simply looked at her own loss and pain and blamed it on God.
How in the world was she so strong?
That's true freedom.
Living in acceptance of the reality of the deep pain, yet being open to the continued possibility that God is good, can be trusted, and will guide her.
Oh, her story about forgiving that guard! She had absolutely no reason to forgive. She had no desire either. Everything in her held on and wanted to hate him. She couldn't even make herself want to forgive. But, she just asked the holy spirit to help her. And, she reached out her hand to shake his - and it was electric. The surge of the love of God went through her and literally gave her the supernatural power to love that unlovable person. She couldn't do it, but God could! And, although she resisted because she couldn't imagine letting this guy off the hook for all of the torment and torture, it was her own heart that was set free. She had never before experienced that depth of love. She let go of the hatred, blame, anger, and score card. She forgave. And it set her free!
Oh, that's the freedom we deeply desire! But it really is supernatural. We can't do it. Our minds and hearts hold on to grudges, hurts, and fear. How can we forgive? It seems to give permission to be hurt again! Often we just can't cognitively get to a place of forgiveness. But, I personally want the freedom of letting go of offense. I want the supernatural love that flows from a spirit that can't hate or fear.
It doesn't erase past suffering. It doesn't promise a future without suffering. But it releases the current suffering that tortures the soul while holding on to hate, fear and blame. That just suffocates. I want deep breaths of life. That can only come through a spirit of love. It just doesn't flow through a spirit of hate. Hate turns to bitterness. It feeds off negative. It searches for wrongs and injustices.
I won't ignore wrongs and injustices or pretend they don't exist. But I pray and hope that I can live a life of forgiveness and a flow of supernatural, miraculous love that is free to experience joy even when there's crap that is cruel, unfair, and hate-filled. I want to choose to acknowledge it, but not let it take over.
I've been listening to a podcast series about Buddhism. And it's interesting that this is the foundation of the Buddhist practice. The four noble truths. The first is that life brings suffering. The second is that being attached leads to suffering. The last two are about the path to the cessation of suffering.
To me, it's simply another way to travel the path of forgiveness I'm talking about.
Life isn't fair. It's in a constant state of change. Death and birth. When we grasp on to something that isn't fair, our suffering intensifies. We can choose to stay in that grasping, clinging place - wishing things weren't the way they are. Or we can find a way to release that grasp.
God wants to give us his supernatural power to let go. To release our grasp. To forgive. But, we fear, and we grasp. And, according to the four pillars, this grasping is what leads to so much suffering.
No matter how tightly I grasp on to the truth that something isn't fair, isn't right, is painful, I can't change it. But, I don't think we can always let go on our own. Sometimes it's a surrender to a power greater than ourselves. And, that's a miracle!
There are miraculous healings happening all around us - where people are set free from their suffering, released from their torment of hatred towards themselves or others, unburied from a suffocating weight of regret, blame or fear.
I've witnessed these miracles. It's more beautiful that anything I can imagine. There's such power evident. It gives my faith a jump start - a renewed energy.
What jumped out at me was verse 3 "So Paul and Barnabas spent considerable time there, speaking boldly for the Lord, who confirmed the message of his grace by enabling them to do miraculous signs and wonders."
Really? How cool is that? Must be nice, aye? They tell people about the power of the risen Christ and then they do some miracles so they have some street cred.
If that's how God works, I should assume that's still possible. But, we don't believe it ourselves, so we wouldn't trust enough to ask for miracles.
When did that get so lost? So many of us simply "believe in God" and consider all of the bible stuff ancient history.
But Paul enters the story at the same point we do. So, where did his power come from? Same as ours. The power given by the holy spirit.
But I don't live as if that power is real. I'm skeptical, maybe even cynical. Yet, if I reflect, I've seen so many miracles!
So many lives transformed, redeemed, rescued, changed, lifted out of darkness.
That's probably why I like the book 'The Hiding Place" so much. Corrie Ten Boom talks about so many instances where she just had supernatural understanding, knowledge, protection, direction, power, strength, and ability.
But, did it protect her from suffering? Not at all!
She lost everything!
She lost her dignity, health, home, safety, and her loved ones. They were killed. They weren't protected. The miracles were not always the ones she desperately pleaded for. But, somehow, she continued to put her faith and TRUST in God!
And he led her to heal so many from the trauma of the war and the holocaust. She could not have been open to any of that had she simply looked at her own loss and pain and blamed it on God.
How in the world was she so strong?
That's true freedom.
Living in acceptance of the reality of the deep pain, yet being open to the continued possibility that God is good, can be trusted, and will guide her.
Oh, her story about forgiving that guard! She had absolutely no reason to forgive. She had no desire either. Everything in her held on and wanted to hate him. She couldn't even make herself want to forgive. But, she just asked the holy spirit to help her. And, she reached out her hand to shake his - and it was electric. The surge of the love of God went through her and literally gave her the supernatural power to love that unlovable person. She couldn't do it, but God could! And, although she resisted because she couldn't imagine letting this guy off the hook for all of the torment and torture, it was her own heart that was set free. She had never before experienced that depth of love. She let go of the hatred, blame, anger, and score card. She forgave. And it set her free!
Oh, that's the freedom we deeply desire! But it really is supernatural. We can't do it. Our minds and hearts hold on to grudges, hurts, and fear. How can we forgive? It seems to give permission to be hurt again! Often we just can't cognitively get to a place of forgiveness. But, I personally want the freedom of letting go of offense. I want the supernatural love that flows from a spirit that can't hate or fear.
It doesn't erase past suffering. It doesn't promise a future without suffering. But it releases the current suffering that tortures the soul while holding on to hate, fear and blame. That just suffocates. I want deep breaths of life. That can only come through a spirit of love. It just doesn't flow through a spirit of hate. Hate turns to bitterness. It feeds off negative. It searches for wrongs and injustices.
I won't ignore wrongs and injustices or pretend they don't exist. But I pray and hope that I can live a life of forgiveness and a flow of supernatural, miraculous love that is free to experience joy even when there's crap that is cruel, unfair, and hate-filled. I want to choose to acknowledge it, but not let it take over.
I've been listening to a podcast series about Buddhism. And it's interesting that this is the foundation of the Buddhist practice. The four noble truths. The first is that life brings suffering. The second is that being attached leads to suffering. The last two are about the path to the cessation of suffering.
To me, it's simply another way to travel the path of forgiveness I'm talking about.
Life isn't fair. It's in a constant state of change. Death and birth. When we grasp on to something that isn't fair, our suffering intensifies. We can choose to stay in that grasping, clinging place - wishing things weren't the way they are. Or we can find a way to release that grasp.
God wants to give us his supernatural power to let go. To release our grasp. To forgive. But, we fear, and we grasp. And, according to the four pillars, this grasping is what leads to so much suffering.
No matter how tightly I grasp on to the truth that something isn't fair, isn't right, is painful, I can't change it. But, I don't think we can always let go on our own. Sometimes it's a surrender to a power greater than ourselves. And, that's a miracle!
There are miraculous healings happening all around us - where people are set free from their suffering, released from their torment of hatred towards themselves or others, unburied from a suffocating weight of regret, blame or fear.
I've witnessed these miracles. It's more beautiful that anything I can imagine. There's such power evident. It gives my faith a jump start - a renewed energy.
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