I don't normally do this when reading the bible, but today I actually googled whether a story included in Acts 5 is historically true.
It's the story of Ananias and Sapphira.
I was reading a few things on the google, going down that rabbit hole of opinion, research, data.
And that's when I realized it didn't really matter to me if it was an historically accurate account of events or a legend, a myth, a story.
I'm curious if it really happened.
But, the better question couldn't be silenced.
The better question kept creeping into my mind as I searched for historical proof of the event.
That better question is: How am I like Ananias and Sapphira and what can I learn from this story?
That question quickly draws me to the holy spirit and reveals things that convict my heart. It makes me think about my motivation for doing things and about whether I'm honest with God.
Then more questions come.
Do I sometimes serve because I think it looks like the right thing to do? Do I present myself to God highlighting my best behavior, trying to impress? Or am I just myself- honest about the parts that are selfish, greedy, stingy, untrusting? Do I sometimes find pride in my financial contributions to the church or ministries - even thinking "many people don't give this high of a percentage."
Here's the thing.
Why is this story recorded in Acts?
Why am I reading this 2000 years later?
Is it to have an accurate historical account of exactly what happened in the early church?
Or could it be a way to open up my heart to a better understanding of myself and of God?
Sure, it could be both.
But, if I get stuck in the train of thought that simply searches for proof that this is exactly how an historical event happened, I could miss EVERYTHING!
I believe I could read this same account many times throughout my life and discover something different each time - IF I ask good questions.
Better questions.
God, what do you want me to know? Learn? Hear?
And to take it one question further...
What do you want me to do? Say? Change?
I remember reading this story before and thinking: Is God a mean jerk? Is God unforgiving? Could there be a side to God that is intolerant of shortcomings? Isn't God forgiving and good?
Those were the things I was wrestling with at the time. I wasn't sure if I really could trust God and if he really was good. So, this story invited me in to wrestle with my doubts and fears. It gave me the opportunity to face these scary questions and to boldly search for answers.
I guess my point is - when reading the bible, I hope I remember to always ask good questions.
Questions that will lead to discovery about myself and how I can grow.
Sanctification is a big word and very "christiany". I wouldn't normally use it in my every day vocabulary.
But it just means the process of becoming holy.
I like to think of it as the process of becoming more like Jesus - or more like the person God created me to be. Getting rid of the crud that's in the way or blocking me from shining in my true identity.
When I read the bible, it's through the lens of sanctification or becoming.
I'll never arrive, this side of eternity.
But I want to always move closer to being holy. I want to always be growing, changing, transforming, peeling away layers that need to go. I always want to be getting closer to the me God created.
So, today, that means I ask myself some questions about my heart and generosity and pride. And I invite my good God to reveal anything that's hindering me from becoming.
And I know my good God.
I know and trust the kindness, grace, and pure love that encompass anything revealed to me.
It's never condemnation.
It's never shame.
It's always an invitation out of darkness and into light.
