My hope is that I would never waste one single breath of my life dreading the future.
Because, I believe that we live in a battle between good and evil. And, if I surrender for even a fleeting moment to dread and worry, then I have given victory to the evil one.
I believe that John 10:10 is truth. It quotes Jesus saying "The thief comes ONLY to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Jesus refers to the evil one as "the thief". The crazy thing is, I invite him in sometimes. Who, in their right mind, would invite a thief in and let him hang around? That's insane. But, I have done it plenty of times.
He is so good! He is also referred to in the bible as "Father of lies". He is so good at getting me to believe lies. And, maybe one of his most successful schemes is to get me worrying about the future.
I can remember when my two girls were babies.
Oh, I can clearly recall the joy I felt when Alli, at the age of three, would give love to her baby sister. She would hug her and squeeze her and sometimes I could see that she had to practice restraint to refrain from squeezing her too hard while hugging her. She would actually be gritting her teeth while saying "Ohhhhhhh, I love you!" Meanwhile, just when I thought my heart couldn't explode with any more joy, there was Liv! Her toothless smile so big that her big fat cheeks would squish her eyes shut.
I would look at them and think, "It can't get any better than this! I need to freeze time! I can't contain the joy of this moment, and I don't want it to slip away." And, it's true that I couldn't freeze time, and the moment would slip away. But, there I would be, in a moment of pure joy, feeling like I could understand the presence of God and his goodness and heaven on earth and the fact that I was standing on holy ground in His presence......and I would allow the enemy to invade!
It would start with a quick panicked feeling that something this good can't last. Then I would find myself worrying that something terrible might happen to one of my girls some day. Then I would slowly let my mind drift 5 years into the future...10 years....15 years.... And, before I knew what was happening I would find myself dreading the future.
Although my baby girls brought me moments of ecstatic joy, they were both independent and strong willed and not what you would call "easy". So, I would allow my imagination to drift far into the future and dread what they might be like as teenagers. I did that way too often. I can recall so many times just looking at them and thinking "when you girls are 15 and 12, life is going to be hell in our home." I hate that I ever spent any time thinking that. But,I did. And, I am certain it was the thief coming to steal my joy.
How stupid I was!
Because, my girls are now 15 and 12.
And I am experiencing the same moments of pure joy when I am around them. I love hanging out with them more than I ever have! I thought I would look at babies and longingly wish for those days. Nope. I do not. I see babies and honestly don't even miss when my girls were that age because I am enjoying them SO MUCH as they are right now, blossoming into young ladies!
Being a parent is super scary! Right now I have a baby who has her driver's permit and will be getting her license. She has a boyfriend, got her first "real job", and is talking about her plans for college. I have another baby who is an adventure-seeking, independent, unpredictable soul and she will be entering the teen years where there are lots of opportunities for "adventure".
Sometimes, I am tempted to dread the next 10 years and worry about how it could possibly all play out without major disappointments or even catastrophic mistakes!
But, I resist that temptation whenever I am strong enough and have enough clarity of mind. And, instead I CHOOSE to rest in the truth of what Jesus said, as recorded in John 10:10. Jesus wants us to have life to the FULL. Worry and dread are not ways to have life to the full.
At the risk of sounding a bit morbid, I am dying. We are all dying. We just don't know when. It is possible that this year, or this day, could be my last one on earth. What a shame it would be to spend my last days imagining or dreading a future that I am not even going to see. Who knows? None of us do. We only have today. And, God promises us mercies fresh each morning and everything we need for today. He doesn't say, "I come to give you joy for next year..." We have to wait and receive that gift when it's given to us.
So, today I want to recognize the crafty thief who wants to steal my joy, and turn my back on him. I don't even need to fight him off, I just have to let him know he is not welcome. I'm protected by my loving Father who is much more powerful than any evil scheme. And I rest happily in that love.
And I smile at my awesome girls and enjoy every moment I have with them.
