Wow! Haven't posted in so long.
I was just in my bathroom and I looked at my two color-coordinated towels, as I do pretty much every time I use the bathroom. And, as is usually my habit, I straightened out the blue towel which resides on the outer towel bar and wondered how it is that I straighten it every time I wash my hands, yet it always ends up uneven and haphazard the next time.
Anyways, my train of thought went something like this. "I love the colors in this bathroom...I think it's my favorite room in the house when it comes to decor and colors...I love these towels...I'm so glad we have them...They were a Christmas gift from my parents a few years ago when we lived in our apartment and our nice thick towels were never drying in our tiny bathroom so we got these giant, quick-dry towels in colors that make me happy...I love that my towels match my shower curtain...I remember this summer looking for a towel to replace this blue one because we somehow ended up with some bleached out spots on this one....but I couldn't find an exact replacement and didn't want to mess up the set...but I looked...and I looked...online...in stores...how did i even find time to do that?...And why did it seem important then, but now that seems ludicrous when this towel is perfectly fine, aside from a few light spots that simply make them look like a well loved towel that gets used..."
Yes, all of those thoughts went through my head in about 5 seconds as I dried my hands.
Here is something that occurred to me.
See, we are in the middle of a family decision that will greatly affect our finances. It's very likely that our income will be decreasing by more than half. We trust that God is leading us and we know He will provide, so we aren't worried, but we know that the adjustment is not going to be easy. So, it's on our minds as we move forward.
That was not the case a few months ago. We were just getting ourselves in a position financially where we could start to anticipate a surplus and start to build up some savings.
I entitled this post "The Appetite Grows By Eating" (A quote by some random French dude) because I think it is so true! When I was feeling like our finances allowed for me to have more, I craved more. I had an appetite for stuff. Since we could afford it, and my purchases are usually pretty frugal, I bought some stuff. Comforter covers for our beds, a rug for my room, chairs for our living room. Ok, all of these were thrift store or garage sale purchases, but that is definitely NOT the point. The point is, the more I fed my craving, the more I noticed things that I wanted. My appetite was growing.
We are super spoiled by our parents for Christmas. This past year was no exception. My parents asked what we wanted, and I had no problem coming up with a list! I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but it's interesting. I'm a fairly content person, and I found myself seriously wanting the things on my list.
My appetite was growing because I was feeding it.
The same thing happens with food. A few months ago, I went on a weekend retreat with a bunch of high school and middle school kids. We were provided with three meals a day, and there was plenty of food. However, it is my habit to eat smaller meals more frequently. So, when I went to the meal times during this retreat, I would pile up a lot more food than usual onto my tray because I didn't want to find myself hungry a little while later, having to wait until the next scheduled mealtime. I'm weird like that. Anyways, I ended up eating way more than normal at every single meal. Well, when I got home, I found that I was not satisfied with my usual breakfast of one egg on a slice of toast. I wanted two eggs and two slices of toast. My appetite had grown because I fed it!
So this is what occurred to me today while thinking about my towels. I need to be very thoughtful about what appetite I am feeding. Think about it. As a follower of Jesus, it is my desire to know Him more and to receive His power through the holy spirit. So, I have an appetite for MORE Jesus. What am I doing to feed that appetite? And, if the appetite grows by eating, then wouldn't it follow that the more of Jesus I get, the more of Him I will want?
YES!
That's exactly how it works. Spiritual disciplines like praying, listening for the voice of God, reading scripture, praising Him,etc can sometimes feel like they take a lot of effort. Some people get discouraged because they believe that Jesus is who He claimed to be, and they want to have a surrendered life to Him, but they find themselves neglecting that relationship day after day after day, feeling a sense of disappointment and guilt instead of fullness and peace. I think it can take some effort at times to discipline our spirit and our body to seek God. But....I know first hand that when you feed that appetite, it GROWS! And when you find out who God really is and you connect with Him in spirit, you can't get enough!
Jesus identified himself as the "bread of life". He knew what he was talking about.
I heard a sermon once about feeding on Jesus. It was so interesting. The gist of it was this: If you are hungry, do you want to sing about food? Read about food? Talk to others about food? Hear someone teach you more about food? Maybe. But, ultimately, you want to eat the food! And that is what Jesus talks about. He is the bread of life. He offers us fullness and satisfaction beyond anything we can imagine. And, it's great if we sing about him, talk to others about him, listen to teachings about him, read about him....but...eventually we need to feed ourselves...and He is the bread that will satisfy. And once we taste this bread, our appetite will grow!
Yay. Felt good to blab on my blog again.
