Happy New Year.
Reflecting.
When it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I feel like there are three different groups of people.
1 - those of us who always make new year's resolutions and see the fresh calendar page as a fresh start and opportunity to set and achieve goals.
2 - those of us who never make new years resolutions because every day is a fresh start, what difference does it really make what the calendar shows us? Set goals any time.
3 - those of us who have dabbled with resolutions and are not quite sure from year to year if it's effective or necessary.
For the record, I am in the 3rd category. Any surprise? No. I never made a resolution for the first 38 years of my life and didn't understand why it had to be a new year to reflect and want to make changes. But, a few years ago I found myself enjoying the new year as a time to reflect deeply and give some new goals a try.
anyways,
Carrie gave me a scarf with the a bible verse hand painted on it. John 13:15 "greater love has no one than this, than he lay down his life for his friends." She also put Proverbs 17:17 "a friend loves at all times".I loved the scarf immediately, but I didn't think about the verse very much. I've heard/ read both of those verses many times before. I thought it was a cool idea that she looked up some verses about friendship.
But, today as I am contemplating the coming year and thinking about my goals, I am struck by John 13:15. I think it may be my life verse for this year.
I think it has led me to the following New Year's Resolutions:
1 - Die to self. Every day.
2 - Stop sleepwalking and be awake in every day moments
3 - Be a friend
4 - Be vulnerable
I always thought about John 13:15 as referring to Jesus and his gift of laying down his life for us. He literally died a humiliating, excruciatingly painful death. For us. His 'friends".
But, today I am thinking of it differently.
Every day, every moment, I have a choice. I can live for myself, or I can live for others. I can serve myself and hold on tightly to MY life, or I can lay it down, give it away. And, who are my friends? Sure, I am blessed with many friends. I can think of a handful of dear friends off the top of my head who I would gladly jump in front of a bus for and give up my life. But, I am thinking that John 13:15 is referring to more than just those close friends I have in my mind. Every person created by God, in his image, should be considered my friend.
Timm and I had a really nice time talking earlier today about our reflections of 2012 and our hopes for 2013. We discussed some questions I had given everyone at our NYE party last night. We told each other some of our measurable, tangible goals for the upcoming year. We thanked God for the deepening of our love and our oneness during 2012. We told each other our failures and shortcomings from the past year, as well as our accomplishments and areas of growth.
But, it wasn't until I was out trotting along the path in the park that I was struck by the less measurable, very challenging, ultimate purpose-giving goals for me moving forward.
So, I will try to kill my SELF every day. Multiple times a day. I will try to look up, look around, be aware of moments, opportunities, precious people, instead of the next task on my to-do list. I will try to be a real friend. A vulnerable, self-sacrificing friend. And, I will only do this through the power of the holy spirit in me. When I try to do any of this on my own, I only see my shortcomings and failures. I really can't do it. All I can do is surrender my self.
