Picture in your mind a set of open hands. What comes to mind? Anything? I think I lived most of my life relating the vision of open hands to the idea that those hands had to let something go. But, I can honestly say that I can now visualize open hands and think of the freedom those hands have to serve others, to receive things, or to simply hang there in a relaxed way, not clenched onto anything.
Is it just me, or is this a lesson we continually learn throughout life? When I left home, I let go of the family that protected and molded me. But, in letting go, my hands were open to receive my independence and freedom to discover myself on a deeper level. When I got married, I had to let go of my independence and single life, but my hands became open to cultivate a life of unity with a person who has completed me in a way I never would have known possible. I could go on and on.
Last week, while I was in Michigan, I was absolutely marveling at the Fall colors. And, I was reflecting back on one of the most beautiful Fall displays I have EVER seen, which was exactly one year ago. It was during my drive from NY to MI on Oct 20, 2010. What a strange day. Driving through the mountains in Pennsylvania, speechless at the beauty of the colors and the sunshine and the glory of God's creation. Meanwhile, I had an enormous pit of grief in my spirit because I was driving back to MI for the funeral of Timm's mom. But the super strange thing was that I don't recall if I have EVER experienced the sheer beauty of a Fall day like I did that day. It was like my hands were wide open to receive. I had just let go of someone I deeply loved. My hands were wide open, whether I wanted them to be or not. And, there, with my hands wide open, I was given supernatural gifts. Gifts of peace and beauty and a deep feeling of love.
It is my belief that this is a spiritual law that takes place. Jesus refers to it many times in the gospels. "You have to lose your life to gain it...". Other world religions have similar quotes from their honored prophets or gods. I don't completely understand it. But, I experience it. It just is....
Today, I awoke to a gorgeous sunrise. I took the time to simply enjoy that sunrise as it changed colors, hues, brightness. But, I don't think I ever appreciated a sunrise or a sunset as profoundly as I have in the last year, since Sharon passed away.
A few years ago, I felt God challenging me to let go of a LOT of things. Actually, I felt him challenging me to let go of everything. And, in response, I gave up a LOT of things :) I'm sure he will continue to challenge me with the rest throughout my life. I'll admit, there have been times when I have been mad at God, confused by Him, and not trusting that He is worthy to have me standing here with my hands WIDE OPEN and having Him in control of EVERYTHING. But, let me just say that He CAN be trusted. And, whenever He has lovingly challenged me to let go....yes, I have had to release things....but I have received so much! Truth is truth. And, I have experienced this as true. If I am willing to open my hands and let go, I do receive. Sometimes it is a measurable, earthly blessing. Other times it is a spiritual blessing that goes so deep I can't put it into words. I guess that is the kind of joy Jesus promises us. And, I guess that is the kind of joy we are all seeking. And, it is the kind of joy I get so excited about sharing with others. It's joy beyond description. And, I am SO thankful that God lovingly challenges me to let go of things so I am before Him with hands (and heart) wide open!!!
