Living Water

There has been something on my mind and heart the past few weeks. That something is that I need to give a shout out to the best sister anyone could ever ask for.

I have one sister. She is older than me by 2 1/2 years (same age difference as my girls). I have always been grateful to have an older sibling to pave the way. Never have I understood people griping about being a middle child. Worked just fine in my world.

About a week ago, I called my sister just to chat. I didn't even realize at the time that I was calling her in need of something. But, later, as I reflected on our time spent on the phone, it dawned on me. I called her knowing that I could count on her to give me what I was in need of. So, as I reflected that day, I found myself creating metaphors that gave me a mental picture of what I experienced. First I pictured living out a string of gloomy grey days and the feeling of apathy I tend to get when the sun doesn't shine and morning just shuffles into mid-day and before you know it, it's dark again and daylight never really happened. And, I feel like I can count on my sister to be like that morning where I wake up after a string of grey days, and the sun is shining brightly in the sky. The sky is blue. The birds are singing. Daylight is definitely present in all it's glory. Ahhh, I just feel renewed energy to seize the day in all of it's sunny splendor. I'm not exaggerating here, this is really what I pictured when I reflected on talking to my sister!

The next image that came to mind was thirst. I am a big fan of water and I love a nice cold drink of water whenever I am thirsty. So, i was thinking of the satisfaction I felt after talking with my sister and it was like I has just run 5 miles on a humid day and I came panting into the house soaked with sweat and just so thirsty. I see there is a leftover cup of coffee from the morning that I could sip on the quench my thirst. Ewww. No thanks. I see that there is a lukewarm glass of water on the counter that I could drink. Hmmm, I guess if that's all there is. Then I realize that there is a container of cold filtered water in the refigerator, so I pour myself a big glass and start to drink it down. Ahhhhhh, that is how I felt when I called my sister.

Then it occurred to me that Jesus used a water metaphor when speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well. He said "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life." And a few chapters later in John he says "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

That is exactly why I feel refreshed when I spend time with my sister. She has that spring of living water welling up. It overflows from her in so many ways. And, anyone who knows her would agree with me! It's not that she never has a bad day or a complaint, but there is an unmistakable spring of joyfulness that flows from her life at all times and in all circumstances! And I am so blessed to have her in my life!

I also realize that Jesus is the true source for me to quench my thrist. He is the only well I can draw from to get that deep spring of water for myself. It's not that I go to my sister for that. It is just REFRESHING to have someone who is so full of that joy.

There were times in my young adult life when I not only admired my big sister, but felt quite inadequate in comparison. I would brag about her, but then make self depreciating comments about myself. I think I have matured beyond that and now realize with fascination that God created us in very different ways with very different strengths and skills and desires. And, I have also learned to compare myself less to others and more to who God created ME to be.

But, I would like to brag just a little bit. My sister is a Proverbs 31 woman. A wife of noble character. She loves and serves her family wholeheartedly. She homeschools her 5 children. She is resourceful in running her household. She clips coupons, cans and freezes her own vegetables from their garden, has fed her family healthy organic food from a food coop way before it was the hip thing to do, uses meat that was provided by her hunting boys, and plans her household meals to use everything and not waste. She teaches her children to walk humbly and to love mercy. She teaches them to give their best effort in all that they do. She serves the community, always being the first one to volunteer, whether it is at the senior home or a community event, or a church picnic. She leads and directs the homeschool coop that blesses not only her children, but SO many families in the surrounding counties. She serves and loves her parents, our parents, who I feel I have abandoned (oops, I wasn't going to say anything self depreciating!) She serves and loves her in-laws. She is always serving someone. She has opened her home and family to people who need to be loved. That's not easy to do. And, when love is not reciprocated, she doesn't dwell on that, but finds the best in people. And, all of these things, she is modeling for her children and all of their friends.

I could go on and on. I'm running out of time.

Just today, I was able to chat with my sister for a few minutes. She was explaining that she was feeling a little less enthusiastic and happy than usual. Yet, even in that admission, she was immediately able to point out 5 positive things that she could choose to focus on rather than a bit of a downer mood.

Like I said, anyone who spends time with her would agree with me. She makes a choice to drink from the well of living water, and it flows out of her. And I am so grateful to have her in my life, and in my kids' lives!

Shout out to Theresa Pankeiwicz, aka, my sister!

The tree of knowledge

Reading "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. Love it. Nourishment for my soul. Here are some of my thoughts.

Why do we feel this need to form an "us and them" in our minds? We classify everyone as much as we possibly can. It's our way of playing God. Eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We want to be judges. (a whole book about this is "repenting of religion by greg boyd....read it!).

So, we classify - male/female, child/adult, rich/poor, smart/not smart, fat/skinny, crazy/sound mind, attractive/unattractive, republican/democrat, liberal/conservative, stylish/out of style, outgoing/shy, fun/boring, ambitious/lazy, and of course christian/non christian. This is a particular favorite "us and them". Let's generalize all of humanity into two nice neat groups and judge accordingly. Let's see, we have this group here, which is clearly the "us" and that group which is clearly the "them".

Well, guess what? That is the root of all sin. You want to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and be the ultimate judge. Knock it off. Let God be God. And, if you consider yourself to be Christian, follower of Jesus, then you would hopefully be moving towards a better understanding of who this God is that you have placed all of your faith and trust in. This God is beyond a nice, neat, man-made formula where a person can simply look over the form and check the box for where they fit into God's plan for the universe. Hmmmm, let's see here, if I check the box next to "Christian" then I am in. Whew, That was easy, Now, if I could just get everyone else to check that same box, my life will honor God....REALLY?

Sure, as a follower of Jesus, and a believer in the God of the bible, i have a passion for spreading what I feel is good news. But, who am I to judge or even try to figure out HOW God is working in each person's life? I believe that God is creator and that He is good and that He is love and that He is the perfect image of perfect love and community. I believe that deep fulfillment and joy can be found in submitting to Him as creator and Lord. I also believe that all good things from from Him. So, who am I to turn around and feel that it is of the utmost importance that I classify every person I meet as either in or out? Us or them? Christian or non Christian? I've met many people in my life who proclaim themselves to be Christian and it is hard for me to see any reflection of God in them. But, I don't need to judge. I've met many people in my life who identify themselves as "non christian" and I see in them many reflections of God. I refuse to classify one group as knowing God and God working in them, and the other as being far from God or not used by Him.

I've always hated it when people lump me into a category and define me by it. I think this is one reason I simply can't get myself to discus politics. It seems that about one minute into a discussion, someone wants to classify everything into distinct categories. Well, I am not a democrat or a republican or a conservative or a liberal. And, within the last few years, I have seen the appeal of no longer calling myself Christian, but rather "follower of Christ". Because, calling myself a Christian suddenly lumps me in with a group of people, many of whom I see nothing I have in common with!

Well, I hope I can continue to TRY breaking down my tendency to classify people. Judge people. Assume things about people. Because, as much as it drives me crazy, I still find myself doing it. Yuck. It's that sinful nature I guess.

Dear 16 year old self...

Maybe you've seen the video clip entitled "Dear 16 year old self..."? It's about the dangers of skin cancer and it's worth a watch. Grown ups who have developed skin cancer are recorded warning their 16 year old selves of what NOT to do.

Just got done with a great run on the treadmill. Yep, I'm a fair weather runner. Don't like temps below the mid 30's a whole lot.

I think my most treasured discovery of the last few years has to be Pandora radio. As I reflect on the evolution of my musical intake....records, radio, cassette, cd, satellite radio, ipod, podcasts, pandora. Each modality grew exponentially more enjoyable! What could possibly be next for me to enjoy?

Anyways, today I set the pandora station to "80's workout". And, I couldn't help but formulate my own version of "Dear 16 year old self" as I listened to some tunes that I haven't heard in a long time.

While listening to Michael Jackson's "Beat it" I reminisced about my cheerleading days, doing a pom pom routine to that song.

Dear 11 year old self, Michael Jackson is pretty awesome and does in fact end up being legendary, if a bit crazy. But, you can quit arguing with your mom about who is more influential in the history of music, Michael or Elvis. It's really not worth arguing about. One will forever hold the title of "The king" the other "The king of pop".

While listening to 38 special "I just wanna use your love" (or was that cheap trick?) I thought about how young I was when I started drinking.

Dear 15 year old self, there is so much excitement out there in the world. I know you have a lot of energy and enthusiasm and sense of adventure, but trust me when I tell you that adding drinking to every mundane activity is not the solution to your boredom! You are worth so much more than wasting all of that time and energy. God created you for a purpose and if you want an adventure, roll up your sleeves and serve others who are outside of your little bubble of an existence! Find a mission team and sign up for some work that will impact people. Play sports and don't quit teams just because you want more hours at work to fund your drinking money for the weekends! It's all a dead end.

Listening to Debbie Gibson's "I think we're alone now".

Dear 17 year old self, Debbie Gibson isn't a very great singer. You probably know 5 people right now who could do what she does. And, please stop saying you love her song, it's a remake you idiot!

Listening to "Walk this way" by Aerosmith.

Dear 16 year old self, you are going to regret arguing with your friends about which version of "walk this way" is better. Although you want to stay true to your glam rock roots, Run DMC is kicken and the song they do together is fricken awesome and you know it.

Listening to Guns N Roses "Sweet Child O'Mine". Thinking of how many times we played that cassette in the bottle room at Kroger and in the car while cruisin backroads.

Dear 16 year old self, really? Are you really being who you want to be? Don't you have higher aspirations? Why don't you have any dreams or goals or hopes for the future? Let me tell you something...stealing is always wrong. Always. It doesn't matter if it's a bag of chips, or someones trust. Don't steal. Someday you will hold trustworthiness as one of the highest virtues. Be a person who is trustworthy in ALL things. Knock off the stupid crap. Be honest with people all the time.

Dear 16 year old self, don't dress immodestly for attention. What are you trying to prove? You aren't even comfortable with that and you know it, so don't do it.

Dear 16 year old self, you may think your parents are boring? Well, quit your complaining. Believe me, you would not want to trade your parents for anyone else's. They love you, are stable and predictable and care a ton about you. In the future, you will realize that friends coveted your families' stability.

Dear 16 year old self, keep setting standards for yourself and stick to them. When you set boundaries and stick to them, your friends are watching and you are being a positive influence on them. They will tell you later about your positive influence. But, for crying out loud, set higher standards would you?

Dear teenage self, you are so lucky you get to go to so many concerts. Don't get drunk for all of them! You will treasure the memories and what the heck long term memory will there be if you can hardly remember it the next day?

Dear teenage self, would you believe that your 40 year old self could kick your teenage butt? I know for a fact I could out run you. Why don't you realize your natural athletic abilities and push yourself? Quit smoking and drinking, and you could run so dang fast. And, you can work when you are older, play sports now and put some effort into it.

Dear teenage self, There really is a God and not only does He love you, but He can not wait for you to hang out with him. Don't get discouraged by hypocritical people or institutions. That isn't God. God is good. God is available any time. Turn to him, turn to the bible, find some trusted people who can help you grow closer to Him. I know you don't really feel excited about growing into an adult. It all looks pretty boring. And, being close to God might look boring too. Nope. Your life will be full and adventurous and meaningful if you surrender it to God. Life is only boring and mundane if you choose to avoid risk and choose to always stay on the most predictable and least resistant path. That isn't truly living, and you know it. So, take risks. Be bold. Be adventurous. Live life to the fullest. And don't try to hold on to your life. Let it go in service to God and others. Give it away. That is truly living!

clarity

I love when I am reading a book and an author is able to bring clarity to thoughts that happen to be rebounding all over the 3 pounds of human computer lodged in my head.

I picked up a book at my dad-in-laws and began reading it over Christmas break. Their whole church has been encouraged to read this book and do a study on it. It's called "The hole in our gospel" (...the answer that changed my life and just might change the world) Written by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision USA.

I am going to rewrite an entire paragraph that jumped out at me the first day I was reading this. It is one of the pages in the book that compelled me to swipe the book, bring it home, and promise to return it once I finish!

"Christianity is a faith that was meant to spread - but not through coercion. God's love was intended to be demonstrated, not dictated. Our job is not to manipulate or induce others to agree with us or to leave their religion and embrace Christianity. Our charge is to both proclaim and embody the gospel so that others can see, hear, and feel God's love in tangible ways. When we are living out our faith with integrity and compassion in the world, God can use us to give others a glimpse of His love and character. It is God - not us - who works in the heart of men and women to forgive and redeem. Coercion is not necessary or even particularly helpful. God is responsible for the harvest but we MUST plan, water, and cultivate the seeds."

Richard Stearns does an incredible job of painting a disturbing picture of world poverty and humbly encouraging the church to be on the front lines addressing the needs of those in this world who are in the most desparate state of need.

I just love this book. It completely nails my thoughts about the gospel of Jesus. Why is the gospel good news? Because you get to heaven if you "believe"? Sure, that IS good news. But, that is only part of it! We have been preaching a gospel with a huge HOLE in it! The WHOLE gospel is a message of hope and love and compassion. It is a message that should be DEMONSTRATED through serving and showing the unconditional love of Jesus to those in need while they are HERE ON EARTH! A message that brings peace on earth as it is in heaven. This is a challenging book to read. If you read it without feeling some kind of breaking in your heart for those who are opporessed, then you are encouraged to PRAY FOR GOD TO BREAK YOUR HEART.

Stearns talks mostly about world poverty and the web of oppression that surrounds the people in the world who are in the deepest pits of poverty. But, I see poverty all around me. My heart breaks for those who are oppressed by addiction, abuse, evil, cruelty, lies, unfrogiveness,illness, and hopelessness (to name a few). These conditions surround us in this dark world. So many hurting people. My heart breaks for them and I long to show them love, acceptance, compassion, light, truth and hope. Through my words and my actions. That is the gospel message I hope I can bring. Shame on me, and shame on ANY follower of Jesus if we bring a message of indifference, condemnation, judgement or self righteousness.

One final thought about what Stearns says in his book. Without going into all of the details, the truth is that we CAN END world hunger. We have the resources. We have chosen not to address the needs. Pure and simple. We don't want to.

He goes on to say "If every American churchgoer tithed, we could literally change the world. We could have $168 billion. (that is over and above what is currently being given) Just 40% of that ($65 million) could eliminate the most extreme poverty on the palnet for more than a billion people."

But, we don't do it.

We acclimate to our culture. We want what everyone else has. We complain about what we are lacking. We want to retire "comfortably" like everyone else. We feel we deserve nice vacations like everyone else. We spend out money on private education for our own kids. Etc. Etc. Etc. We choose to live in a way that DOES NOT show the world the sacrificial LOVE of Jesus.

I hope I can start to change that in my life. I hope the church community I am in can change that as well.

Clarity. Thanks God, for authors who can organize my thoughts somehow. So powerful.

VIM for 2012

Deep breath in.........and let it out........ahhhhhhh. Life is good.

Fantabulous celebration ringing in the new year with friends last night. We were close enough to times square to see fireworks, but not close enough to be trampled in the stampede of insanity. And as we made our way out of Manhattan at 1:30am, the girls had a great time mocking Beiber sightings every time we passed a limo or a car with tinted windows.

Today we carried on our annual tradition of indulging in succulent fillet on new year's day while visiting with friends and watching football.

This morning we had a small group at church. Many are still out of town, many were probably still in bed. But, it was such a sweet time of sharing. We discussed our highlights from 2011 and how we felt God move in our lives. We discussed some hopes, dreams and goals for 2012 and even faced the sobering reality that, based on statistics, a high percentage of those goals would not be met. We learned the acronym VIM. In order to truly achieve a goal, one author claims that following the VIM format is one way to greatly increase your likelihood of success.

V = Vision

I = Intent

M= Means

We were then challenged to apply this to our spiritual goals. Because, as followers of Jesus, we should be aspiring to grow closer to God and to grow in likeness to Jesus. If we approach that without vision, intent, and means, we will not grow closer.

My vision is to live as a disciple of Jesus, living out the values of his kingdom, doing my part to see his will done on earth as it is in heaven.

My intent is to become less selfish and more outward focused. To serve God and others before myself. To be a true servant of my Lord.

My means is to commit to praying daily for God to show me His plan. To LISTEN for His plans instead of telling him mine. To pray for others. And, finally, to set measurable accountability weekly with my prayer partner to report my progress and shortcomings.

My other resolutions are to improve at remembering peoples' names. I bought a little spiral notebook to help me, and just need to commit to paying better attention in the moment. And to use gentle, kind words when speaking to my kids.

Reflecting on 2011 brings me lots of happiness. Many highlights. I turned 40 this year, which was another time to reflect on past and future. Overall, I feel hopeful and excited for this new year. I hope that each day I grow closer to the woman God created me to be!

When in doubt...

So, here I was, on top of the world in so many ways all of November. I couldn't even express the joy I was experiencing. Perhaps I was bound to crash? As Oswald Chambers reminds me in my daily devotional, we can't stay on the mountaintop forever. We must go through valleys but keep that mountaintop experience in our minds to give us hope and inspiration.

I entitled the post "when in doubt...". It's the first thing that came to mind when I reflected on the past few weeks of my "funk". Sometimes I have doubts. As a matter of fact, I am not a person who would claim to have the gift of faith. I doubt everything all the time. But, that's OK. Because, it forces me to continually seek out answers. And I believe that God wants just that. He wants me to be SEEKING him.

Today, i am feeling completely RECONNECTED with God, my faith, and the joy that was escaping me for a bit.

Today I was reading through my daily journal, the thoughts I record as I have my quiet time with God. I felt like sharing some here. Not sure if anyone would be interested in my rambling thoughts, but, as always, feel free to not read.

On 12/18: "I'm in a funk. Going through the motions. Not feeling a passion for serving you. Lord, I need you to lift me out of this. It's not sadness or anxiety. It's just apathy. It's like maintaining a life that honors you is like paddling upstream. And we moved to a place where the current is so stinkin powerful - moving in the opposite direction. And if I stop paddling, even for a few moments, I'm carried away. Into this dark world with all of it's suffering and confusion and darkness. Then I read your word that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. But, it doesn't fell that way. Even in my devotional today it says 'being faithful to Jesus Christ is the most difficult thing we try to do today' and I agree! Today I am so grateful that I can go to church. To be with my community. To worship you with all my heart. To share life with others who are trying to paddle upstream and are tired. Today we get to stop paddling and just bask in your presence. Worship and glorify you. Enjoy your peace and love and grace. Ahhh. I guess when I think about it, I have the choice to do that every day. And I do, I remove myself from the world, try to enter your light and spend time meditating on what is true and good.

I'm honestly just tired of trying to figure out how to tell others about that love and peace. I really am. People want to attach something ugly and unloving to any message I have of love, grace, truth. People make unfair assumptions about me. That's fine. I don't care what people think about me. But I do care that people would miss out on unconditional love, purpose, truth, grace, and freedom. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm missing out on that too. Whenever I feel empty and unable to move forward in my life submitted to you, Lord, it's because I am not filled up with you, I'm trying to do it on my own. My own momentum, wisdom, strength. And, that doesn't work.

So, today, right now, I commit to filling up on you and only you. That is my absolute, number one commitment. LOVE the Lord your God with all your heard, mind, strength and soul.

If I am doing that....if I am communing with the God of the universe who IS LOVE...it is then that He can work in me and through me to allow me to follow the rest of the commandment...love your neighbor as yourself.

That is only something He can do once I am completely filled with his supernatural power.

Lord, fill me. Overflow. your love, grace, mercy, power, truth. I need you desperately. Wisdom, discernment, faith, light, love, compassion....

(and i went on from there to ask for things and listen)

(I'll skip many other days because this is getting WAY too long)

12/21 "I have to get back to the gospel message. Redemption. Salvation. Sanctification. Amazing gifts that I have received. These are the things that bring me joy! These are the things that explode in my heart in a real way and make me want to shout for joy that all people can freely receive these gifts. That's all it is. A gift. All we need to do is let go of whatever SELF we are grasping onto in order to have hands wide open to receive.

Receive love, forgiveness, peace, mercy, grace, redemption, transformation, guidance, acceptance, truth. Thank you Lord for these gifts. Why is there so much hatred and anger attached to these concepts today? Why? I don't really need to ask. It's because WE get in the way of your message, Lord. We want to take over. Take control. Do things our way. Serve ourselves. But that is not the way your kingdom works. It's an upside down kingdom. It's all about giving - not receiving. Serving - not being served. Submitting - not having power. Turning the other cheek - not retaliating. Giving grace - not condemnation. All of these things go against our selfish nature, our culture, our pride.

So, we compromise. We accept bits and pieces. But not the whole deal. And we end up more confused than ever because we don't have the peace. the truth. the joy. all the things we were promised seem to slip from our grasp. Because we don't really want to fully grasp. That would be too radical. We might offend someone who doesn't think like us. We might be looked at, talked about, judged as strange, fanatic, holy roller. And, even if we claim that doesn't bother us, it could make Jesus look bad if we look weird, right? Hmmmm, I'm not so sure about that! I think Jesus Christ can handle his own PR. I think we need to submit, accept, and worship. Jesus does his own shining when we are seeking him and filling up on him. He doesn't need us to try harder to come up with ways to make him look good!! How insulting to His power! What a lame excuse for protecting my own reputation.

Thank you Lord, for your gifts. May I honor the gift this season by putting you first. Not by worrying about who chooses which greeting. Not by worrying about who appears more captivated by the commercialism and who does not. Not by wearing Santa socks and snowflake earrings or even giving the right gifts or cards. May I honor you by falling on my knees before you every day, worshipping you alone, obeying you alone, and trusting you alone. And, living unashamed of the peace and JOY in my heart. And loving others as you do. No agenda. No conditions. No judging. That is not for me to do. I am to joyfully serve you and my neighbors. I want to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and love my neighbor as myself. I can only do that through your power. Without you I am selfish. I was created to worship. Will I choose to worship you? Or me? That's the question. Please Father, help me to worship you."

OK, I don't know why I felt compelled to write all of that on this blog. But, once in a while, I do that. Every day I write with or to God, but as you can tell, it is full of rambling and imcomplete sentences. And, it's my way of focusing as I hang out with him.

All I know is, I was having doubts and an overall funky time. But, God can be trusted. He met me in my funk and lifted me out. I need to focus on him and not on myself!

do-er

Most women will say that there is something pretty awesome about being this age. 40ish. Because, by now, you should have a pretty good idea of who you are, what your strengths and limitations are, what you are good at, what you are not good at, etc. And, you care much less about trying to be just like the other women and rather embrace yourself for who you are. You know you don't look 20, and you don't try to. At least this is my experience with girlfriends in their 40's.

But, it is still funny how reality has a way of whacking me in the face sometimes.

I've said it before, and I will say it again...I am a "do-er". I learned this years ago at a Hearts at Home conference. There are generally some women who are "do-ers" and some who are "be-ers". And, it is easy to judge or envy a person who possesses the opposite bend. I have so many examples of this happening.

Now I just laugh when I notice the difference. And I try to appreciate the way I am wired.

See, after having my normal routine in an upheaval for a few weeks (16 of the last 18 days we have either had a guest here or been traveling), I am feeling behind on my "do-ing".

So today I caught up on many things. Non stop do-ing. It gets dark early, and I started losing steam, but felt anxious becuase I had a LONG list of to-do's still haunting me. I was having trouble enjoying our dinner conversation because I was feeling anxious about needing to type up meeting minutes for one meeting, figure out how to edit and attach an excel document for another fundraising event, coordinate volunteers for another event, etc. Seriously. I never did this much when I "worked". But, it was Friday night, and I wanted to also find some time to chill with my girls.

We did go out for a little bit looking for a geo-cache, but we weren't successful, and I honestly couldn't relax. So, when we got home, we finished up folding laundry, putting bedding on, picking up, etc. I asked Alli if she could run a borrowed item back to the neighbor. When she came back, she was smiling and said "They are so predictable over there. WHen I went to the door, she answered with her glass of wine, the music was playing, candles were lit...."

Hmmmmm, my INSTANT thought was "son of a b!$#%, why can't I relax like that on a Friday night? WHy do I have to be so uptight and worry about the sheets being clean and 50 million volunteer obligations?" But, I know the answer. It's just the way I am.

My neighbor is a stay at home mom also. And, she is so good at "Be-ing". I'm a little bit envious, I'll admit. But, I don't dwell on it. I think it's humorous. We are all different. A good friend who is also really good at be-ing has told me that she is often envious of my energy and involvement and "do-ing".

Nah, I won't waste time being envious or wishing I was different. But, I WILL strive to maintain a bit of balance. We like to have FUN in our home. We value down time. And I have made many changes throughout the years to make sure our schedules align with our values.

And, now, after scratching about 6 items off the list, I am resting and reading blogs and writing just for fun. I would hang with the girls, but they are watching tv, and I don't enjoy that.

And, I didn't choose a glass of wine, but I had a delicious treat.

See, I know how to relax and just "be...."